Armed Polite Society

Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: Unisaw on March 15, 2018, 11:11:37 PM

Title: She’s a keeper!
Post by: Unisaw on March 15, 2018, 11:11:37 PM
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/03/15/she-found-a-dating-app-on-her-boyfriends-phone-then-she-bought-a-samurai-sword/?utm_term=.912de5741bad


“With her boyfriend finally asleep, Emily Javier reached for the samurai sword she had secretly taped earlier to the side of the bed.  According to an affidavit filed by police, the room was dark, and she sparked her phone to see better. To aim better.”

“Lovell woke to his girlfriend of two years attacking him with a sword, police say. Survival instincts — mainly martial arts training and all the kung fu films he had watched — clicked in.  “I was able to wing chun my way to survival,” he told the Oregonian/OregonLive in an interview this week over Facebook messenger, referring to a Chinese martial art.”


They sound like quite the couple.
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: Hawkmoon on March 16, 2018, 12:02:14 AM
The family that slays together, stays together.
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: Perd Hapley on March 16, 2018, 12:40:09 AM
"Sparked her phone"?

 ???
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: Angel Eyes on March 16, 2018, 01:15:22 AM
"Guy Girl killed me, Mal.  Killed me with a sword.  How weird is that?"







Not really.  At least, not yet.


Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: Hawkmoon on March 16, 2018, 08:21:17 AM
Quote from: fistful on March 16, 2018, 12:40:09 AM
"Sparked her phone"?

 ???

Clearly not Hassidic.
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: MechAg94 on March 16, 2018, 09:01:43 AM
Obviously, we need a waiting period for swords. 

Also Obviously, that must be a subpar samurai sword or it would have cut completely through him on the first stroke and much of the bed as well.
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: slugcatcher on March 16, 2018, 09:06:51 AM
When you're going to go for a dip in the shallow end of the genepool don't do it at low tide.
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: HankB on March 16, 2018, 09:47:03 AM
Quote from: MechAg94 on March 16, 2018, 09:01:43 AM
Obviously, we need a waiting period for swords. 

Also Obviously, that must be a subpar samurai sword or it would have cut completely through him on the first stroke and much of the bed as well.
Maybe she bought it off the Shopping Channel? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N4hprpRJhM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N4hprpRJhM)
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: Angel Eyes on March 16, 2018, 01:43:01 PM
Quote from: HankB on March 16, 2018, 09:47:03 AM
Maybe she bought it off the Shopping Channel? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N4hprpRJhM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N4hprpRJhM)

It sure wasn't Hattori Hanzo.

Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: KD5NRH on March 16, 2018, 02:16:09 PM
Another article describes him as a part-time bookkeeper, which I just can't see paying even half the bills.  What are we betting on, welfare or drug dealing?
Title: Re: She’s a keeper!
Post by: Hawkmoon on March 16, 2018, 03:22:02 PM
Quote from: KD5NRH on March 16, 2018, 02:16:09 PM
Another article describes him as a part-time bookkeeper, which I just can't see paying even half the bills.  What are we betting on, welfare or drug dealing?

Typo? Maybe they meant part-time bookmaker.