Gym junkies

[Monkeyleg]

My wife and I quit smoking back in September, and joined a gym a bit over a month ago. My wife's goal is to lose weight, while mine is to gain weight, but not in the gut.

The people who use the gym are a real cross section of humanity, from the nearly anorexic to the grossly obese, and from the very ugly to the almost attractive (there are no beautiful people on the south side of Milwaukee).

There's a subset of this group, though: the regulars. These are the guys who are there every night, working on one or two muscles at a time. It's not enough for them to have large biceps; they're into sculpting every muscle there is. They do specialized exercises for small muscles within a larger group of muscles. I didn't even know those small muscles existed.

What strikes me as odd is that they're working out every night. I can't imagine putting that much time into something that will turn to flab if left to atrophy. It's pretty much the same way I feel about mowing the lawn, in that it's just going to get long again anyway, so why sweat it?

I'm curious as to who they're doing this for. I suspect it's for themselves, as the time at the gym is time not spent with a wife or girlfriend. The ones who watch themselves in the mirror remove all doubt; they're probably hermaphroditic.

Another odd subset are the amazon women. They're often taller than I am (6'1"), and easily have fifty to a hundred pounds on me, but it's all muscle. Some are definitely lesbian, but others just seem to be into looking like  Matt Damon.

Am I the only one who notices this, or do I just not get out often enough?

[Perd Hapley]

I think these "cut" guys are probably just like the guys who just keep adding more guns/stamps/toys to their collection, having every variation of every model of X, having multiple examples of favorites, constantly fiddling with and modifying their guns/cars. 

They got into weight-lifting.  They wanted their abs and pecs and biceps to look good.  Then they couldn't be satisfied until the lats and triceps were all well-defined.  Then they kept learning more about the different muscles and exercises for each one, and felt the need to sculpt themselves to perfection.  They're seeing imperfections that no one else notices. 

I don't say this to insult those types of people.  That's what's important to them.  It could be a little nutty, or not. 

But they do remind me of the lady that used to walk around the local mall every morning, pulling her small daughter behind her in a little red wagon.  Her legs were like toothpicks, but she just kept walking and walking.  Haven't seen her in a while.  I hope somebody finally told her to EAT A SAMMITCH. 

[S. Williamson]

I'm curious as to who they're doing this for. I suspect it's for themselves, as the time at the gym is time not spent with a wife or girlfriend. The ones who watch themselves in the mirror remove all doubt; they're probably hermaphroditic.

You mean narcissistic?  I really hope you mean narcissistic...

But they do remind me of the lady that used to walk around the local mall every morning, pulling her small daughter behind her in a little red wagon.  Her legs were like toothpicks, but she just kept walking and walking.  Haven't seen her in a while.  I hope somebody finally told her to EAT A SAMMITCH.

Girl I'm currently seeing is about 5'9" and 130.  She pulls on some barely-loose skin on her tummy and says she's gained weight and needs to go to the gym.  I am... well, 6'3" and 320.  I look in the mirror and realize I left the Doritos in the other room. 

She wants to, as she puts it, "get some muscle tone back."  IMO, if she wants to work out, that's fine, but she's gotta start eating... well, more.  I was thinking a strict regimen of fried chicken, crullers, and vanilla shakes.

[Monkeyleg]

You mean narcissistic?   I really hope you mean narcissistic...

No, I used "hermaphroditic" because I couldn't think of the term for people who just have sex with themselves.

[Iain]

No, I used "hermaphroditic" because I couldn't think of the term for people who just have sex with themselves.

Onanists?

I do what I do because I was small and weak as a kid, and due to serious health issues I was always pretty ill and never took part in sports. By the time I was 18 I was 5'7" and 125lbs, which is pretty small for a male. Started lifting when I was 21 and have gradually put another 55lbs on - technically making me overweight with a BMI of 28, I wear 34" trousers though, and that's mostly because of upper thigh/glute size.

I'm not a bodybuilder though, I spend more time doing the powerlifts and big simple exercises like overhead presses. I'm closer to training like an decent standard athlete would train - the focus is on performance. I don't do enough cardio though.

Most guys who spend five evenings a week at the gym trying to sculpt every muscle would be better off going 3 or 4 times and doing big simple lifts to actually build some muscle. It pains me when the 130lb kids at the gym spend an hour on curls talking about which variation will define the 'peak' the best. Most of them just need to do some damn chin ups.

The other thing I will say though is that we are all a touch weird about each others weight. Don't mean to be rude Dion - but your ladyfriend is within a healthy range for an average 5'9" female. She's light, but some people are. I wouldn't be encouraging her to lose weight, but then again I wouldn't be encouraging her to eat as you (probably in jest) suggest to gain weight either.

Her BMI is 19, and again I'm not trying to be rude, but yours is 40. There are many people who have a healthy bodyfat level with a BMI over 25 and that technically makes them 'overweight'. There are a very few with a healthy BMI over 30, and that technically makes them 'obese'. I would guess there is almost no-one with a decent level of body fat and a BMI over 40, Ronnie Coleman would be one, but I struggle to call that healthy.

A case in point about how strange we are. I occasionally play rugby with the sons of a woman I work with. Her family are all big, and she is the biggest but is merely 5'3". As far as she is concerned, any body under about 220lbs is skinny. Rock climbers I know have called anyone over 170lbs fat.

There is a probably a reason why we end up looking like the people we spend the most time with. The two guys I spent most time with at work are both pretty huge and they are always after me to go to the chippy at lunch etc. One of them has type II diabetes.

[Monkeyleg]

Iain, I hope you weren't insulted by my post. I get the idea of weight lifting. If I didn't I wouldn't be going to the gym, although I work out on the machines, as using free weights runs the risk of me doing something to aggravate a herniated disk.

I'm doing this for the same reason that you did when you started working out. I've always been skinny. My BMI is under 20. Even when I was at my peak physically I was skinny. No amount of food will put mass on my upper body. All the beer I drank just went to my gut.

Gun collecting, car collecting and hobbies like that I understand. Bodybuilding just seems weird. Maybe it's because it seems narcissistic. Or onanistic.

[Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas]

Bodybuilding just seems weird. Maybe it's because it seems narcissistic. Or onanistic.

It's a subset of the male population that wants to be able to look in the mirror and say "damn, I look good!"
I think the clotheshorses are similar.

Or maybe the people you run across at the gym are just male strippers. 

[Iain]

Not offended in the slightest. I'm not at all surprised that people think that a particularly extreme form of my hobby is a bit weird. Like any other hobby there is a big continuum - right from the 'want to look better naked' up to the 'prepared to grease myself up and flex my striated glutes for a baying crowd of... other men'. I'm sure a similar continuum exists amongst gun enthusiasts. I'll admit that occasionally I snigger at the roided up proper freaks with their huge upper bodies, all over acne issues and matchstick legs. There are only a couple like that at my gym.

Anyway dick, good luck with it. You've done the big thing that will help you gain weight - you've quit smoking.

[Devonai]

I use the Stairmaster at work because it's free and the weather is still too cold for running.  Other than that I do not go to the gym; I lift weight at home which continues to be free after the initial investment of a weight set fifteen-some-odd years ago.  I understand the appeal of the gym: it helps you focus, lots of cool machines, communal showers...

Anyway, I lift because it's relatively easy and something I can do while watching TV.  I concentrate on just a handful of exercises because anything else seems like a waste of time.  I do one-handed curls, two-handed curls, hammer curls, military press (both sides of the head), upright rows, and lateral raises.  I also do pushups, which compensate for my lack of a bench or spotter.  My goal, as nebulous as it is, is to have Hugh Jackman's Wolverine physique.  I can't imagine going out in public looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I had access to a Bowflex while out of work in 2007, and I used it three times a week for three months straight.  It works!  I loved it, but to buy my own would involve $3000 and a sudden disregard for the nutritional needs of my firearms.  I also like the assisted chinup/dip machine, but since the Army doesn't require chinups as part of the PT test I consider them just a curiosity.

I'm also sold on the overall health benefits of weight training.  Work out, feel great, it isn't rocket surgery.

[myrockfight]

I'll admit that occasionally I snigger at the roided up proper freaks with their huge upper bodies, all over acne issues and matchstick legs. There are only a couple like that at my gym.

I can't work out right now, but when I was in the gym, I avoided those guys. A lot of them were just there for their daily ego boost. I guess that is fine too. It is a "free" country.

However, I can respect the guys who work really hard to push themselves and their bodies as hard and as far as they can. These are the guys who use the mirrors to make sure they have proper form while executing a set. There are always the guys who just like to look at themselves and concentrate on the one big muscle they have been growing out of proportion to the rest of their bodies.

Unfortunately, many of those guys simply weren't shown the proper way to work-out on an individual exercise level to how to co-ordinate daily workouts in relation to each other. They are simply shown which weights to pick up and told to work hard. They have poor form and learn that they can lift more with poor form. They don't develop properly and they don't ever want to use proper form because they "have to go back down."

I was luck enough to learn that lesson in high school and stay away from it. But don't label all the big guys as stupid steroid freaks. Back when I was working out really regularly and hard - some guy was running his mouth about how I couldn't be that strong without taking steroids. I was laughing because I wasn't exactly big. I only weighed 165 soaking wet. I've never touched that drug nor any other.

There are morons everywhere involved with everything. Just avoid 'em. However, be careful labeling others as such. You may just be partaking in the ignorance thus granting yourself the label.