Military Wisdom

[Gowen]

I thought I would share this...

Military Wisdom

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." — Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." — US Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons." — General MacArthur

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." — U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways." — U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

"Five second fuses only last three seconds." — Infantry Journal

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. — Basic Flight Training Manual

"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." — Unknown Marine Recruit

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." — USAF Ammo Troop

"You've never been lost until you"ve been lost at Mach 3." — Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." —Unknown Author

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe." — Fixed Wing Pilot

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash." — Multi-Engine Training Manual

"Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club." — Unknown Author

"If you hear me yell; 'Eject, Eject, Eject!,' the last two will be echos. If you stop to ask 'Why?' you"ll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot." — Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies." — Sign over Control Tower Door

"Never trade luck for skill." — Author Unknown

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight." — Basic Flight Training Manual

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation — we have never left one up there!" — Unknown Author

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." — Emergency Checklist

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." — Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." — Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." — Lead-in Fighter Training Manual

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot"s reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

[MechAg94]

 

[Doggy Daddy]

Thanks.

That was really welcome about this time of day.  (80 minutes to quitting time)   

DD

[castle key]

I took a bit of a flight with our aviation people in the helicopters the other day. When I arrived, what did I see on the desk.....a roll of duct tape.YIKES!!

[myrockfight]

I took ground school when I was young, but didn't follow up because of financial constraints after I turned 18 to get my solo w/passenger license. I'm thinking about doing it all over while I am recouperating. I really miss it. Thanks for the smiles!

[French G.]

Seen variants of most all of them, those are some good ones.

"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual

  Yay USS Inchon! It's only embarrassing if you are the flagship of a minesweeping task force and you find the first one with your hull mounted detection equipment.

[Scout26]

While going through MP Officer Basic we did several consecutive Air Assualt exercises.  The first one, we exit the Blackhawks and form a security perimeter about 100-150m from where they landed.  As I lay on the ground I looked back and the aircraft I had been riding on, had shutdown its engines and the crew chief had climbed up the tail with a huge wrench in hand and was tightening up the big bolt that holds the tail rotor.    

[S. Williamson]

It's only a problem if the bolt comes loose completely. 

 

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

a similar type of event was in field and stream. bush pilot tells the hunter to sit back and relax son  no point in both of us being scared  ####less.  or the copter pilot peering through the fog who when asked what he was looking for answered "rocks"  they were at 5000 feet in an area with 7000 foot peaks

[GigaBuist]

One of my favorites:

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land."

[280plus]

I took a bit of a flight with our aviation people in the helicopters the other day. When I arrived, what did I see on the desk.....a roll of duct tape.YIKES!!

Gotta keep them rotors on somehow...

[RevDisk]

Probably the meanest thing I've done in years.  We had to stop in country X for...  some odd reason.  Refueling or something, I didn't ask.  Well.  One of the tires didn't look so good.  So we changed it.  Care to guess how you change a tire on a 727?  Same equipment that you use to change the tire on your car.  Just with bigger tools.  Takes longer than you'd think to use a hand jack to lift half of a 727. 

Spare tire was in the cargo space.  And we had to steal a luggage conveyor belt thingie to get in there.



Cargo space is not designed for folks that are 6'2.



So, we had to get the tire over a mountain of luggage tossed in every conceivable manner.  727 tires ain't light, you know.  Finally, we get the #%)@*@ tire ON the #)%*@) aircraft, tighten the bolts and everything is squared away.  Naturally, not everyone helped out in lifting said aircraft.  So I tell the folks that helped me change the friggin tire to shut up and look scared at the appropriate time. 

Everyone gets on the aircraft and buckled in.   Just before we started to taxi, I started juggling some spare parts from the tool bag and asking the guy next to me (in a loud voice) if he thought there should be this many spare parts left over after we finished up.

Everyone turned very white and quadruple checked their seatbelts.  Heard more sincere prayers on takeoff than I ever have in any house of worship.  Even the folks that helped me change the tire.  Afterwards, they told me they thought I was telling them to actually BE scared, instead of just LOOK scared, and assumed I actually DID somehow end up with spare thingies.  Guess I should have been more clear.  Whoops.

[French G.]

Now that's just mean Rev. Known a couple of helo crew chiefs that would work with the pilots, pilot dumps collective pretty hard, crew chief gets worried looking, runs back to a hand pump for an APU accumulator or something unimportant and starts pumping like his life depends on it. Of course, the helo ascends. They do this a couple of times until once when the pilot drops the bird and the crew chief just gives it the aww @#$% it look and does nothing. Grunt olympics to see which one can dive on the hand pump first.

Then there were the sailors that stood in line at the in-port payphones, several of them talking away on the phones. Large line of Marines form. Time passes. Sailors leave, Marines all try phones. Inport phones no worky way out at sea. 

[280plus]

Ah sailors and marines. Will it ever end? 

[Strings]

Um, no...

[280plus]

 

[Boomhauer]

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ

Flying through thunderstorm = a good way to die, no matter what bird you are in.

[Tallpine]

Flying through thunderstorm = a good way to die, no matter what bird you are in.

That's what Thunderbirds are for 

[just Warren]

I'm currently reading Popski's Private Army written by XO Park Yunnie detailing the exploits of  British Jeep Commandos. First in N Africa and then Italy and then Germany.

We are still in Italy at this point and the boys are being shelled by some unruly Huns.

Normally, Yunnie's jeep brings up the rear while Popski leads. However the shelling has caused them to turn around and tactically withdraw placing Yunnie in the now lead jeep.

Popski is shouting something at him and Yunnie cannot make it out, finally Popski places his fingers to his mouth as if smoking a cigarette and finally Yunnie hears "Smoke!" Yunnie turns to his driver and complains that this is a bloody awkward time, he nevertheless stops his jeep and runs up to Popski with a  cigarette case at the ready. 

"No, you fool! Smoke!" said Popski jerking his thumb at the smoke discharger on the back of the jeep.

"Oh, SMOKE!"

[Phyphor]

Gotta keep them rotors on somehow...

I thought they used it to fix bullet holes in the blades?