One of those funny emails that circulate everywhere

[Monkeyleg]

I just received one of those emails that seem to go to everyone in the world who has a computer. I thought this was funny, probably only because I hadn't already seen it 1,000 times.

**************
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
   
Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
   
Q.  Where will the government get this money ?
A.  From taxpayers.
   
Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A.  Only a smidgen of it.
   
Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?
A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set,  thus stimulating the economy.
   
Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A.  Shut up.
   
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:       
   
*  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,  the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
*  If you spend it on gasoline,  your money will go to the Arabs.
*  If you purchase a computer,  it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
*  If you purchase fruit and vegetables,  it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..
*  If you buy an efficient  car,  it will go to Japan or Korea .
*  If  you purchase useless stuff,  it will go to Taiwan .
*  If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,  it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead,  keep the money in America by:
1)  Spending it at yard sales,  or     
2)  Going to ball games,  or   
3)  Spending it on prostitutes,  or     
4)  Beer or     
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

   
 

[grampster]

Try it, you'll like it.

[freakazoid]

lol, don't forget guns. 
I wonder how it would go if caught with a prostitute if you said you was trying to stimulate the economy?

[HankB]

. . . Instead,  keep the money in America by:
1)  Spending it at yard sales,  (Uh huh, evading sales tax!!) or     
2)  Going to ball games, (Aren't there a number of foreign players? Does this count if you're watching Toronto - or any team from California?) 
3)  Spending it on prostitutes,  (many are illegal aliens) or     
4)  Beer (lots of imports on the market) or     
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

   
 

I wonder how it would go if caught with a prostitute if you said you was trying to stimulate the economy?

Since when is "the economy" a synonym for that part of the anatomy?   

[lee n. field]

Instead,  keep the money in America by:
1)  Spending it at yard sales,  or     
2)  Going to ball games,  or   
3)  Spending it on prostitutes,  or     
4)  Beer or     
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Ruger, S&W, KelTec, all the reloading equipment manufacturers, ...

[Mabs2]

Ruger, S&W, KelTec, all the reloading equipment manufacturers, ...

If I get one (doubtful) that's what I'll be blowing it on.
After I've used it responsibly and only the left overs, mind you.

[CNYCacher]

At least the Q&A portion of that can be attributed to Dave Barry