Now this is an ironic thing.
In this forum thread, there is consensus that parental involvement is very important to child rearing and educational development.
In the other forum thread, there is consensus that the most significant factor is the nature of a person; and human nature is not malleable.
http://www.armedpolitesociety.com/index.php?topic=29471.125
Very important != Most significant factor
Similar, but not identically weighty.
The older I get, the more weight I give to Nature. Some days I think it may be as high as 80%, but my usual is something along the lines of "more than 50%."
Also, Nurture is stacked against the parents, once kids go off to school. Of the Nurture proportion, parental influence likely plunges down to 10%, once kids become teenagers.
As a parent, once my kids go off to school, the greatest influence I can have on my kids is manipulating their peer group. I can manage this manipulation is two ways:
1. Choosing where we live.
2. Choosing where they go to school.
We determined where we lived very carefully, noting the demographics of the local population and the local public schools, the performance of those public schools, crime rates, etc. Neighborhood playmates are thus filtered.
We pay serious $$$ to send our kids to a private religious school we scouted out (to include the church) before we sent our kids there. We were especially interested in the school-aged kids, as they (or their younger siblings) would be the sorts to be our children's peers. We have become involved in the leadership of the school and church, so as to influence both.
Worst case scenario, if we fall on hard times, we can send our kids across the street to the well-regarded public school
Every once and a while, my wife wonders if we are sheltering our kids too much. I figure that they can always learn bad habits and take up with shady characters. What is tougher is teaching them good habits and making sure to limit the number of sawed-off sociopaths and budding felons they deal with as children. Oh, and keeping them from the power of adult sociopaths in the gov't education bureaucracy.