Ikea, meet 600 pounds of water and rock

[makattak]

1) Who said anything about execution? I'm thinking about options. I find it entertaining to think.  I'm trying to do a specific task and thinking of possible ways to accomplish it. That's all.

2) Now that we've clarified that this is strictly in the "but it's for the children!" category, there are only two directions to go: thread closure or Godwinning. Ok, maybe porn, this being the Internet and all.

3) It's entirel possible that it's all my imagination that a good portion of this thread has had an undertone of  "zomg, this chick is an idiot, I better tell her what do to, and you can bet it won't be remotely close to her cockamamie idea, which is dumb to begin with." But I don't think so.

Finally, I'd like to point out yet again that the proposition was "This is impossible. What are some ways to make it possible?"

Not "Hey, I'm going to use this, because maybe it will work." Not "I want to build a stand for my aquarium and I can't come up with anything better than Ikea.  

1) Our minds work differently. I want to find the a) easiest (workable) or b) cheapest (workable) or c) best solution to the problem. Hence my first response.

2) Huh?

3) It has nothing to do with sexism. Had a guy asked the same question, the responses would have been the same. And yes, there probably is a little of the "What is <this poster> thinking!?" since you seemed to insist on trying to make your original solution fit.

Had you asked the question: "How can I create or buy a shelf that is similar to the IKEA product but capable of holding the aquarium?" you would have recieved much different responses.

If you'll note our answers have been: it's not worth the expense, risk, and time to make your proposition possible.

It's like asking "Ok, I need to tow a 10 ton trailer and I have a VW Golf. How do I make it work?" The answer to that question is you get a vehicle capable of towing 10 tons and don't ruin the Golf and the trailer at the same time.

[BridgeRunner]

In other words, yes, Roo-ster does have to his very best jackass impression in quashing someone's thought exercise, because after all, she's pretty dumb. Despite her having said exactly none of idiotic things attributed to her, she's still pretty dumb. And anyway, it's for the children.

*expletive deleted*ck this.

[CNYCacher]

I don't know what all things you imagine people are attributing to you.  I don't have an inclination to go back and re-read the entire thread and try to find that stuff.

I don't think you are dumb.  I do think your idea is a bad one.

It's unworkable.  It can not be made workable by any means short of adding so much extra material to the base that the original shelving units would become nothing more than cosmetic additions to the actual project.  Makattak's analogy of the 10-ton trailer and the VW Golf is right on.  you wanna pull that trailer with the Golf, take the VW logo and the Golf badge off the car and stick them on a semi truck.

You have a bad idea.  So what?  Suck it up, buttercup.  If we didn't care about you we'd let you go on with your bad idea.  You came to a group of people who care about you and that's why you got the responses that you did.

[Harold Tuttle]

Hitler would have Hess weld up an angle arm support frame for the Ikea shelves, then
Göring would add dive sirens and airdrop it to Rommel, who would keep his eels in it

[Doggy Daddy]

Hitler would have Hess weld up an angle arm support frame for the Ikea shelves, then
Göring would add dive sirens and airdrop it to Rommel, who would keep his eels in it

Well, that covers the Godwin and the porn...

DD

[BridgeRunner]

....and *expletive deleted*ck that too.

Where on earth did you get the idea that I intended to item to be anything more than decorative?  I pretty much stated that I wanted a particular look, and that that was the reason for using it. Oh, and I figured out how to do it, too, should I be so inclined. But it's still impossible, because it is incomprehensible to anyone present that someone might buy a decorative item for the purpose of being decorative. The only possible solution is a pile of cinderblock. Right.

Do you always tell someone they're clearly imagining words were spoken in the same sentence you state a disinclination to read those words?

You seriously just told me I'm imagining things were said and that you're not going to read the thread to find out. Seriously?

Are you *expletive deleted*ing kidding me?

[Doggy Daddy]

....and *expletive deleted* that too.

Where on earth did you get the idea that I intended to item to be anything more than decorative?

We all must have misinterpreted this:

The current plan is to get a couple of these: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/90116275/#/20116274 and lay them horizontally against the wall.  Add speakers, TV, 600 pound fishtank...

DD

[BridgeRunner]

Oh. So no one could be bothered to read the subsequent two paragraphs in which I stated why that won't work. I see. 

Yeah. Clearly, I am the idiot here.

[Harold Tuttle]

[CNYCacher]

Where on earth did you get the idea that I intended to item to be anything more than decorative?

The part where you said it needed to support 600lbs

I pretty much stated that I wanted a particular look, and that that was the reason for using it.

No, you did not.  You claimed that you didn't want to spend the money on an actual dedicated aquarium stand, and that you were a cheapskate.  Your only reference to looks were that you wanted it to "match the rest of the room", which was described as boards laid on top of bankers boxes, and was not cluttery like something taller.  You really like the look of low, out of the way furniture.

Oh, and I figured out how to do it, too, should I be so inclined. But it's still impossible, because it is incomprehensible to anyone present that someone might buy a decorative item for the purpose of being decorative.

That is not the stated purpose.  The stated purpose is to support 600lbs.

The only possible solution is a pile of cinderblock. Right.

I suspected that you did not care to read my suggestion, now I am sure I was right.
My suggestion involved a support structure made of cinder blocks concealed behind a nice wooden veneer that was not load-bearing.  You could have easily added your ikea stuff to the front if you wished.

Do you always tell someone they're clearly imagining words were spoken in the same sentence you state a disinclination to read those words?

You seriously just told me I'm imagining things were said and that you're not going to read the thread to find out. Seriously?

You did not mention what it is that you think people are falsely attributing to you.  Why would I read through the thread sentence by sentence to try to guess which ones they are when you won't even elaborate other than a vague claim of misrepresentation?

In actual fact, you are the one misrepresenting everyone here.  You claim that we think you are dumb, which is false.  You claim that we find many simple concepts incomprehensible, which is false.  You also are misrepresenting yourself by claiming many things in your later posts which do not jive with your OP, and blaming me and other people who tried to help for the confusion.

*expletive deleted*ck that, indeed

[BridgeRunner]

Yeah...I also stated that I was looking for way to make it possible to put 600 pounds on top of a thing unsuitable for that purpose and a couple of the ways in which it is unsuitable. How that turned into "please tell me this will work, in defiance of all reality" is beyond me. Yes, the best I had come up with was reinforcing it. And the only reinforcements I'd thought of would have had a similar effect, but would have been hard to conceal and tedious to make. If I thought the thing could hold the weight, what on earth was I posting about? And why?

I did read what you suggested. Actually, I posted shortly thereafter that I'd thought of a way to use the piece I wanted to use that was pretty much what you said, only simpler to put together. 

And then someone started in on the ludicrosity of using a bookcase to cover the supporting structure when a sheet of plywood is $30, and cinderblocks a buck each.

And then someone started in my poor children, who need me to think of them. Because apparently saying "hey, I'll set the thing on blocks and surround them with the frame of a bookcase is evidence of crappy parenting.

[AJ Dual]

So you want to just turn that four hole grid shelf on it's side, lay it on the floor, and put the fish tank on that? Is that what's meant by "lay it horizontally"?

Presumably it has one "ugly side" that was meant to be it's base/feet on the floor, so you were going to turn that side against the wall?

I would lay it on the floor, holes pointing up. (if that's what you even mean) And I would take four big chunks of 8x8" pressure treated deck lumber cut into blocks/cubes that just barely peep over the top of the Ikea shelf frame by like 1/4". Then I'd lay down a piece of 1/2" plywood cut to size over the four big blocks of wood, and set the fish tank on that.

I think the Lowe's/Home Depot lumber guy would even make all the cuts for you, on their big saw frames for free, so it should be all nice, square, and level.

If any of the plywood shows, just get a little can of Minwax and stain it to something close the color of the Ikea shelving.

Then the Ikea frame is just a facade sitting on the floor with no contact with the fish tank. 8x8 post blocks won't scratch the floor like concrete, won't be as heavy to position or move. And an 8x8" post is enough to be trusted as a column to hold up several thousand pounds of decking. So four blocks of it can support 600-800 lbs. easy-peasy.

[BridgeRunner]

Yes, holes pointing up is what I mean. It actually doesn't have an "ugly side", one of the reasons I find it handy. 8x8 post sounds good. I actually figure I can leave the four shelves out, use them on the other unit or something.

That would allow cinderblock. Or 4x4s, or bricks, or any number of other things. And it would be handy for other reasons. None of which is undervaluing my children's safety. One I mentioned would be a place to stow the filter.

Thank you so much AJ. It really sucks getting the feeling I'm speaking a different language from the whole rest of the universe.

[Harold Tuttle]

Detcord never forget the detcord

[Scout26]

This spiraled out of control rather quickly.