Sons...

[280plus]

For those of you who have sons & those of you who are happy that you don't.

You may  find out interesting things when you have sons, like:

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a lon g
way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too
late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old
Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what th a t odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with
or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[mtnbkr]

Where's my clorox...

Chris

[grampster]

I knew I was saving those 24 cans of brake fluid for something.  Back later...gotta go to the store and get some clorox.

[meinbruder]

I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath properly, then I hit #25.  Who's the mindreader?  
Mike

[Myself]

Danger Danger.  When brake fluid is mixed with a strong enough conc. of chlorine (like in pool tablets) it will ignite and burn violently.

[Twycross]

I feel a desperate need to find some pool tablets now. Must.... resist.....

[Guest]

Well...I turned out all right.



Fire Ants are allergic to Brake Fluid and Clorox in case anyone was wondering...

[280plus]

Personally, I'm more inclined to get some hair spray, dust bunnies and rollerblades...

[SpookyPistolero]

Seriously, who's got the clorox and brake fluid? I've got none at my apt. but need to hear this was properly tested!

I still remember the look on my mom's face when I first figured out that you could make a handy flame thrower out of her hairspray...

[280plus]

I recall mixing model air plane fuel with maybe clorox ( I can't remember) and getting some pretty good fumes out of that...

[Azrael256]

I've got none at my apt. but need to hear this was properly tested!

I've got both.  Anybody know how to properly extinguish this kind of fire before I go burn down the neighborhood?

[mtnbkr]

Just mix small quantities in a safe, nonflammable area (middle of a paved parking lot with no cars).  If you can't put it out, let it burn out on it's own.

hmm, maybe not in today's climate of the omnipresent terrrrrrists.

Chris

[charby]

Potash and sugar was my mixture of my youth. I won't do it today with all those anti terrorist people running around. The whole thing with some of the guys I ran around with when we were younger was who can make the loudest bang.

Never tried the clorox and brake fluid mixture.


-C

[Tallpine]

I better wait until winter and there is snow on the ground to try #25


Let's see .... how about a can of brake fluid suspended above a bucket of clorox - just add one .22 LR bullet (from a safe distance) through the brake fluid can...?  

[Polishrifleman]

For those tame at heart you can go through the baking soda and vinegar foam out.  I wonder if you used that as a fire retardant on the brake fluid and clorox??

[Guest]

Cholorine and I do not get along.  My allergies go nuts!

When I smaller, bleach "bothered me" , but I got over it faster.  So I am out at a Plant where a Mentor and Elder worked, and back out a bit were these fire ants. Shooting at them with a BB Gun was fun...still...

So the Mentors and Elders and the other guys, understood a boy needs to be a boy.  Vinegar and Soda was kinda neat on one pile.  I wanted to see what Blackpowder would do to these as I had seen it work on another pile, only the guys suggested "probably not a good idea here on this property".  They were grinning real big when they said no...

I had free run of most anything in the sheds, just ask, and do not blow the Plant up or catch it on fire or...

I found some brake fluid " Hey, this stuff do anything to Fire Ants?"   Grown men will get really big grins when  a kid hollers out some stuff.
"Umm, yeah, but it could use some help, you remind us of something".   Bleach Bottle was found [ read stolen from the janitoral stuff] and back out...even further out we went with a fire extinguisher.

I may have been small - but I knew if the fire extinguisher was coming along this was a good thing.

Yep - I was right!  


This was the summer I learned how to find where one sits down a can of charcoal lighter fluid when you get busy playing with the puppies.

There was some brush that needed burning, and I was helping put this brush in this depression.
"Where is the can of Charcoal Fluid that was in the truck?"

"I'm sorry, I moved it when I got that pile of stuff out and I don't know what I did with it".
I'd just grabbed the can, and put the rope around my waist tied to the lighter pile of brush, and drug this pile behind me. Puppies followed, I set the can down in the middle of this depression and forgot...

Night time and bonfire meant roasting wieners and mellows and fixing stew wrapped in aluminum foil...fire got to going good and we found that can of charcoal fluid.


" I remember now!"

Like I say - I turned out all right...




---

Last time I killed fire ants guess what I used to put down the hole?

Malto Meal.

Yep...not as exciting and all - still worked.

[charby]

For those tame at heart you can go through the baking soda and vinegar foam out.  I wonder if you used that as a fire retardant on the brake fluid and clorox??

this is one of those don't try it at home warnings.

empty plastic soda bottle with cap

works toilet bowl cleaner

aluminum foil

place two or three balls of aluminum foil in bottle

pour ounce or so of toilet bowl cleaner

screw cap on the throw as fast as you get the cap on

wait for boom.. hotter the day quicker the boom

don't work so well in the winter.

also don't throw one as cops show up to bust keg party in apartment upstairs.

-c

growing up mom was always pissed that the aluminum foil was always gone.

[garrettwc]

I don't know about #25. I can't stand the smell of Clorox.

The marble bit sounds entertaining.

Charby, yours is filed away for a rainy day.

[Declaration Day]

Charby, I did that one many times as a teenager.  We called them "Drano bombs", even though "The Works" is the proper ingredient.  We always filled the pop bottle 1/3 full of The Works, and rolled up three pieces of foil in a long rod shape, so they would fit in the bottle opening.  Those suckers are LOUD, and have about a one minute delay.

Whatever you do, do NOT throw them in the bottom of porta-potties at the local city park.  It is not nice.

[Brad Johnson]

You know, you guys are gonna get me in trouble....

Brad

[charby]

Charby, I did that one many times as a teenager.  We called them "Drano bombs", even though "The Works" is the proper ingredient.  We always filled the pop bottle 1/3 full of The Works, and rolled up three pieces of foil in a long rod shape, so they would fit in the bottle opening.  Those suckers are LOUD, and have about a one minute delay.

Whatever you do, do NOT throw them in the bottom of porta-potties at the local city park.  It is not nice.

We didn't get much of a delay on 95 degree days and yes they will blow the sides out a mailbox.