Author Topic: "Problems with your Windows computer"  (Read 1400 times)

Hawkmoon

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"Problems with your Windows computer"
« on: July 01, 2014, 09:57:43 AM »
I haven't received on of those calls for awhile (maybe because I missed them while bouncing in and out of the hospital). Got a call early this morning. Caller had an obvious Indian accent. Said he was calling because he was "with Windows" and that they had detected a problem with my Windows-based computer. If I would just go to the computer and follow his instructions, he would walk me through correcting the alleged problem.

Right.

As always, at that point I hung up. But ... this time he called right back to ask why I had hung up on him. I told him, "Because you're a scammer trying to get access to my computer."

He assured me that he was not a scammer, that he was "with Windows." So I said, 'So you work for Microsoft."

He said, "No, Microsoft is a manufacturer. You don't have a hardware problem, you have a software problem. Windows is an operating system, so it's software."

I hung up again and he didn't call back.

They're getting more persistent. The scam muct not be going as well now that word has gotten out.
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AJ Dual

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2014, 10:37:31 AM »
You didn't string him along to make him waste as much time as possible?
I promise not to duck.

41magsnub

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2014, 10:43:05 AM »
Man, I could of had so much fun with that!  How come that class of scammer never calls me???    :rofl:

Monkeyleg

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2014, 10:43:30 AM »
You didn't string him along to make him waste as much time as possible?

But Hawkmoon would have to waste his own time in order to waste the scammer's time.

K Frame

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2014, 11:15:47 AM »
I strung one of those clowns on for the better part of a half hour sometime ago.

I had a dead keyboard sitting beside my desk, so I pulled it up and was really hammering the keys so he could hear it on speaker phone...

He ran me through all of the crap designed to give him admin access into my computer...

"OK, can you see my computer? Can you diagnose the problem? Can you FIX the problem?"

No, I can't see your computer...

"Ok, let's run though this again..."

Nope, still can't see your computer... Are you... and he ran through a bunch of different "trouble shooting" tips....

After about 20 minutes, out of the blue, I asked him "Hey, does my computer have to be turned on for this to work?"

YES! (he wasn't happy).

"But if I turn my computer on, that means that scumbag scammer ahole douchebags like you might be able to see it..."

*CLICK* 

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TechMan

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2014, 11:26:34 AM »
I strung one of those clowns on for the better part of a half hour sometime ago.

I had a dead keyboard sitting beside my desk, so I pulled it up and was really hammering the keys so he could hear it on speaker phone...

He ran me through all of the crap designed to give him admin access into my computer...

"OK, can you see my computer? Can you diagnose the problem? Can you FIX the problem?"

No, I can't see your computer...

"Ok, let's run though this again..."

Nope, still can't see your computer... Are you... and he ran through a bunch of different "trouble shooting" tips....

After about 20 minutes, out of the blue, I asked him "Hey, does my computer have to be turned on for this to work?"

YES! (he wasn't happy).

"But if I turn my computer on, that means that scumbag scammer *expletive deleted* douchebags like you might be able to see it..."

*CLICK* 



That is fricking awesome!  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Hawkmoon - Never underestimate another person's capacity for stupidity. Any time you think someone can't possibly be that dumb ... they'll prove you wrong.

Bacon and Eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Stupidity will always be its own reward.
Bad decisions make good stories.

Quote
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AJ Dual

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2014, 11:43:50 AM »
Exactly the kind of thing I want to do.
I promise not to duck.

Hawkmoon

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2014, 11:59:57 AM »
You didn't string him along to make him waste as much time as possible?

It was early and I wasn't fully awake. Besides, wasting his time also wastes my time.
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erictank

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2014, 01:37:29 PM »
I strung one of those clowns on for the better part of a half hour sometime ago.

I had a dead keyboard sitting beside my desk, so I pulled it up and was really hammering the keys so he could hear it on speaker phone...

He ran me through all of the crap designed to give him admin access into my computer...

"OK, can you see my computer? Can you diagnose the problem? Can you FIX the problem?"

No, I can't see your computer...

"Ok, let's run though this again..."

Nope, still can't see your computer... Are you... and he ran through a bunch of different "trouble shooting" tips....

After about 20 minutes, out of the blue, I asked him "Hey, does my computer have to be turned on for this to work?"

YES! (he wasn't happy).

"But if I turn my computer on, that means that scumbag scammer *expletive deleted* douchebags like you might be able to see it..."

*CLICK* 



{slow clap}Oh, well DONE.


lupinus

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Re: Re: Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2014, 02:39:31 PM »
I strung one of those clowns on for the better part of a half hour sometime ago.

I had a dead keyboard sitting beside my desk, so I pulled it up and was really hammering the keys so he could hear it on speaker phone...

He ran me through all of the crap designed to give him admin access into my computer...

"OK, can you see my computer? Can you diagnose the problem? Can you FIX the problem?"

No, I can't see your computer...

"Ok, let's run though this again..."

Nope, still can't see your computer... Are you... and he ran through a bunch of different "trouble shooting" tips....

After about 20 minutes, out of the blue, I asked him "Hey, does my computer have to be turned on for this to work?"

YES! (he wasn't happy).

"But if I turn my computer on, that means that scumbag scammer *expletive deleted* douchebags like you might be able to see it..."

*CLICK* 
You're my hero for....let's go with the next 20 minutes or so.
That is all. *expletive deleted*ck you all, eat *expletive deleted*it, and die in a fire. I have considered writing here a long parting section dedicated to each poster, but I have decided, at length, against it. *expletive deleted*ck you all and Hail Satan.

lupinus

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Re: Re: Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2014, 02:40:01 PM »
Double tap
That is all. *expletive deleted*ck you all, eat *expletive deleted*it, and die in a fire. I have considered writing here a long parting section dedicated to each poster, but I have decided, at length, against it. *expletive deleted*ck you all and Hail Satan.

KD5NRH

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2014, 02:41:40 PM »
But Hawkmoon would have to waste his own time in order to waste the scammer's time.

I see so much potential for a new version of Siri here...

K Frame

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2014, 10:27:58 PM »
Guess who called my Mom's house yesterday?

If you guessed "My name is Asok, I am with Windows, we have noticed a problem with your computer!"

You win the prize!

I was too tired to screw with him, so I just hung up. The lazy bitch didn't call back.
Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

Firethorn

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2014, 05:31:01 PM »
This reminded me of Bun-Buns stance on telemarketers:


Note for those who are NOT into webcomics, specifically Sluggy Freelance, Bun-Bun is a lop-eared rabbit that's tough enough to take on a xenomorph queen while armed only with a switchblade.

Chuck Dye

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2014, 07:20:17 PM »
Thanks, I'll just go re-up for the no call list...
Gee, I'd love to see your data!

Hawkmoon

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2014, 12:23:22 AM »
Thanks, I'll just go re-up for the no call list...

It won't help. I'm on both the federal no-call list and my state's no-call list. I still get a lot of telemarketing calls.
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K Frame

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Re: "Problems with your Windows computer"
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2014, 11:07:37 AM »
The do not call lists are a *expletive deleted*ing joke.

Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.