Lesbians and midgets aside for a moment, another constant is the emails that read "Brad Pitt/Matt Damon/Jennifer Lopez/Johnny Depp/Angelina Jolie/Oprah Winfrey/other celebrity eats grapes/bananas/figs/other fruit to cure blurry vision". I get a couple hundred of these a day.
My favorite is "Math professor gets.shot after.finding the lotto pattern..."