NOT politically correct - might offend - Mod's, your choice

[crashresidue]

The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:






Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans."  Not doing it this time.  If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore.   I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.



I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit.  Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: there's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.



The reason I'm quitting is simple.  I'm fed up with you people.

 I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world.  Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

 Let's start local.  You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media.   Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank.  And that's despite record numbers of homeowners including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners.  And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high.  Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton Administration.  I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

 Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets.  Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

 We face real threats in the world.  Don't give me this "blood for oil" thing. If I was trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell.  And don't give me this 'Bush Lied People Died' crap either.  If I was the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.'  Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.  Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me.  Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office.  Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy.  Bet you didn't know that, did you?

 You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy.  Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off.  We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

 That's not the case this time.  The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive.  In fact, they want to die.  That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can.  But they are.  They want to kill you.  And the bastards are all over the globe.

 You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11.  But you're not.  That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.  When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight.  I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor'.

 Instead, you've grown impatient.  You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do.  You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

 Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.  Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dammit, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist.  It amounts to the same thing.

 In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet.  It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News.  But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter.  Most of you would rather watch American Idol.

 I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.  I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from.  But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

 So I quit.  I' m going back to Crawford.  I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient.  No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again.  Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

 Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too.  That means Pelosi is your new President.  You asked for it.  Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there're just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

 So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what I mean.

 The rest of you, F***  off

[Pew pew pew]

So, you wrote this?

[nico]

there's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office

. . . unless you consider the Constitution to be a bunch of laws

[crashresidue]

Nope, didn't write it - was forwarded to me by an old grizzled Marine Gunny.

cr

[Manedwolf]

I'd be more willing to believe he'd say it if he'd actually pursued and killed bin Laden instead of letting him live for six years, now. If they'd gone into those "hills" between Afghanistan and Pakistan with every A-10 in the inventory and every fuel-air-explosive in the inventory. But they didn't.

Worst mistake the country ever made.

[HankB]

I'd be more willing to believe he'd say it if . . .

. . . he pardoned Ramos, Campean, and Hernandez, stopped trying to give Social Security to Mexicans (including illegals), reduced Fallujah to an area of overlapping bomb craters the first time we hit it, banned the JAG corps from the Middle East, and made sure the Justice Department went after Sandy Berger, William Jefferson, and others tooth and nail.

[Gewehr98]

Worst mistake the country ever made.

Umm, would that be before or after Clinton decided not to take out bin Laden during his tenure?   

[sharps-shooter]

It would be neat if bush really was a person of such integrity, following  his convictions despite being misunderstood by the very poulace he's benefitting.

But he's not.

No more was Clinton, or Reagan. They're politicians. They talk like they're your buddies, but they're not really your buddies. Sorry. It's a sad fact of growing up, that you realize more and more what a cold place the world can be.
 
As for the economy being better-- most people feel they're worse off than several years ago. Sure there's a larger population-- meaning more homeowners, business owners, and so on. And there's plenty of work to be done in peacetime, so unemployment is pretty low. But as you said, polls show that people feel the economy is in the tank. Well, I'm making more than I used to, but that's just me. The public is the final measure of the economy, and it seems to be bad.

Clinton wanted to kill Bin Laden too. But he didn't manage it. Mikhail Gorbachev wanted to kill Bin Laden also, most deperately. No Luck. Ever been to those mountains? Unearthly terrain, the remoter parts of which are basically apolitical because no one goes there from one century to the next. You can die there, but you can't be found easily.

We do everyone a disservice when we make our politicians out to be superhuman. They're not, and in some cases they're not even decent people. A leader without the support of his people is just an ape in a suit.

[Cosmoline]

Yeah, we should all be grateful to our Lord and Master:

For totally failing to get OBL
For failing to carpet bomb the talib scum hiding in Pakistan
For failing to secure Iraq and for engaging us in the very "nation building" he promised he would never do
For failing to build an alliance against terrorism
For disregarding our own civil liberties whenever possible
For trying to sell our ports to the same animals who're trying to kill us
For failing to punish the Saudi dogs in any way for spawning and indoctrinating most of the 9/11 terrorists
For constantly kowtowing to the Chinese communists instead of recognizing them for the evil and corrupt scum that they are
For trying long and hard to ensure that the southern border is a meaningless line on a map and for encouraging megabusiness to replace actual Americans with illegal foreigners
For taking the idiotic step of trying to destroy one of the few secular governments in the middle east, instead of using it as a proxy to slaughter the fundis


Bush is a worthless piece of garbage.  He's a traitor to the conservative cause, to the Republican party and to the nation.

[K Frame]

"For totally failing to get OBL..."

I didn't know that George Bush was boots on the ground in Afghanistan... 

[natedog]

 

Sorry, but Bush isn't in any position to express 'righteous indignation'.