Oh fuuuudge.

[Guest]

I hate looking at a forum and seeing more than two topics started by me. I hate it.

But. Um. One of my favorite long distance 'just to talk about life and complicated stuff with' friends who I hadn't talked with for quite a while just had her dad die, and she's the one who is in charge of everything, up until they find the will and who is the executor. She owns her dad's business now and probably most of his stuff.

She's sixteen in a week.

I went through the same thing at fourteen except my mom was the one who took everything on herself.I'd have to say that if you looked at it overall, the worst case scenarios happened a lot. It got bad.

Over the years I kept thinking "Hey, at least I have the life experience from this so that when it happens to someone else, I can help and know what to say or do."

I've got nothing. Drawing a blank. De nada. I remember exactly how I went through things and how I dealt with them. She found her dad. I found mine. She's facing the same stuff my mom did, and at thirty odd years younger. The vultures are going to be damned thick. At least there's more family that sounds like it'll actually be there for her, unlike my mom's family (ok, my uncles were there for some very important things, but overall..)

This is making me wish I'd written about things more.

Not even going to touch on the ripped-offness of finishing growing up without a father or how it feels to see boys and their dads. Don't feel like crying quite this early.

[grampster]

Think about it Blackburn.  You were led to APS.  Sometimes a good father can be found in unlikely places.  Maybe you can help her come to understand that, just after you figured it out.

[Stickjockey]

At least she's got you, and you've got us.

On the practical side:

The vultures are going to be damned thick.

She needs to find out who her Dad's attorney is. He'll be able to help with the legal/probate side of it.

[crt360]

She needs to find out who her Dad's attorney is. He'll be able to help with the legal/probate side of it.

+1

Finding out whether or not her dad had a will and an attorney should be done immediately.  Hopefully he told a living family member something about this.  If not, check safes, deposit boxes, places where he kept important papers and contact attorneys he knew who may have drawn his will.  Hopefully he had siblings that will be doing all of this and are more likely to be the executor.  In most states, your friend is not old enough to do much of anything legal.

[The Rabbi]

She needs the advice of a competant, trusted attorney ASAP.  As a minor she cannot enter into any contracts, which will be sure to affect her ability to act as executrix.
On a more personal side, I lost my father at 22 and it was still hard.  I had a tough time watching dads and their kids until I had some of my own.  Her situation is tough but sometimes people rise to the occasion and it will bring out the best in them.