Inmates running the asylum department

[Hawkmoon]

As if we needed more proof, I received it this afternoon.

I've been taken on for a short-term consulting gig, but for reasons known only to their accounting department, the client wants to bring me on board as a "casual" employee rather than have me work as a consultant. I'm sure it's to their benefit rather than mine, but in this economy one does not turn down work.

But before they will begin to actually pay me for my labors, it seems I must prove to them that I am legally entitled to work in these United States of America. Never mind that I have already provided proof of multiple licenses issued by the state to allow me to do what I do. Never mind that I have already provided a state-issued driver's license, with photo, to document that the State thinks I am the same person I think I am. No ... we need another form of ID.

They gave me a list. The list has three types of IDs: One type is valid both to document identity AND to document that I'm legal to work. The second type is valid to show identity, but not employment legality. And the third type is valid to prove employment eligibility, but not identity.

So I look down the list. Nowhere on the list is DD-214. Apparently the fact that I was good enough to put my life on the line to defend the Constitution (and that the DD-214 shows where I was born) doesn't count for anything with the Department of Homeland Insecurity. What does count? Well, a birth certificate counts. But -- get this: A birth certificate is only valid to prove identity, NOT that I'm legal to work. However ... a passport (current OR expired) is valid to both prove identity AND to show that I'm allowed to work.

Now ... all of you who remember what document you have to provide in order to obtain a passport -- raise your hand.

[Brad Johnson]

To renew my broker's license I must have a set of fingerprints on file with, and submit to a criminal background check by, the Texas Department of Public Safety

I am also a Texas concealed handgun licensee.  To get that license I must have a set of fingerprints on file with, and submit to a criminal background check by, the Texas Department of Public Safety.

Seeing a little redundancy here?

No, they will not allow the CHL to be used as proof of prints and background check.  It must be a completely seperate background check and set of prints.

Trust me, I've already asked why.  And asked.  And asked... :rolleyes:

Brad

[HankB]

To renew my broker's license I must have a set of fingerprints on file with, and submit to a criminal background check by, the Texas Department of Public Safety

I am also a Texas concealed handgun licensee.  To get that license I must have a set of fingerprints on file with, and submit to a criminal background check by, the Texas Department of Public Safety.

Seeing a little redundancy here?

No, they will not allow the CHL to be used as proof of prints and background check.  It must be a completely seperate background check and set of prints.

Trust me, I've already asked why.  And asked.  And asked... :rolleyes:

Brad

Each separate background check and set of prints requires a separate fee.

Someone GETS that fee.

Any more questions?  :rolleyes:

[crt360]

Economic stimulus program.

[RevDisk]

Yea.  The beancounters are like that.  They'd probably argue that the State Dept does various checks in addition to your birth certificate. 

My last job?  They wanted the usual paper, AFTER they verified my secret clearance and had the ball rolling on getting my TS (I had an interim at that point).   ....  WTF?

[Bogie]

So, would you like me to provide a suitably aged piece of paper, which looks like a bad photostatic copy, and which has some sort of funny looking seal-like thing impressed upon it?
 
Ain't all that hard.
 
Social security cards are MUCH easier.
 

[KD5NRH]

How

Now ... all of you who remember what document you have to provide in order to obtain a passport -- raise your hand.
ever ... a passport (current OR expired) is valid to both prove identity AND to show that I'm allowed to work.

...and good for some entertainment as you watch the HR chimp try to figure out how to deal with: 1) a list A item that doesn't need a second item to back it up and b) a multi-page document.

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

its funny how folks get  i had to provide wage info for a refi. i produced my w2's for 2 years. it was not acceptable, inspite of the fact that they asked for a w2. why?  because it was filled in by hand not typed. i was the sole employee owners wife wrote out w2's. i pointed out to them that the irs accepted it and that they also had the tax documentation that went with it.at that point i got the blank stare. i refi'd with someone else  and sent them a copy of the closing papers and a love letter.

[Harold Tuttle]

Arresting Officer: This is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt.

Bill - Dept. of Works: Mistakes? We don't make mistakes.

Charlie, Department of Works: Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us.

Harry Tuttle: Listen, this old system of yours could be on fire
and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling out a 27b stroke 6 Bloody paperwork.


Harry Tuttle: Bloody paperwork. Huh!
Sam Lowry: I suppose one has to expect a certain amount.
Harry Tuttle: Why? I came into this game for the action, the excitement.
Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone.
Now they got the whole country sectioned off, you can't make a move without a form.


Terry Gilliham's Brazil is the perfect storm of government paperwork
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eosrujtjJHA

[Scout26]

Ahhh yes, the beloved I-9 form.

For the first 6 months after I started my most recent job, I'd get an e-mail about every other week from an HR drone asking that I provide my social security card to prove my identity/eligiblity to work since it wasn't on my I-9 form.

I had used my passport.

Apparently I was the only person ever in the history of the company that had NOT used the DL/ social security card as proof and had actually used a "List A" document.   This caused great consternation and confusion in the HR department and I'm sure caused several heads to asplode/meltdown when I pointed out the instructions on the form.

[Hawkmoon]

So, would you like me to provide a suitably aged piece of paper, which looks like a bad photostatic copy, and which has some sort of funny looking seal-like thing impressed upon it?
 
Ain't all that hard.

So ... exactly how much did the Obama machine pay you?

[dogmush]

I'm an army brat.  I've had this conversation untold times to get jobs.

Them:  I need your Birth Cert.
Me: I was born overseas, you want my "Report of Birth Abroad" [hands them said doc.]
Them:  Nope, has to be a Birth Cert.
Me: You can't read it, I was born overseas.  Thats the doc you need.  Trust me.
Them: Nope, it's not valid.
Me: No really, that's an official US Gov. Document.
Them: Gotta be a Birth Cert.
Me: [sigh] Fine do you read Italian?  [hand them Birth Certificate]
Them:  ............  Uh, can I see that other form again?

The only variation is when I'm feeling plucky:

Them: I need your Birth Certificate.
Me:  Ok, here you go.
Them: ................ I can't read this.
Me:  Me neither, but I've been assured it says I was born.

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

kin da like my sisters birth certificate that lists wake island. it made me shudder that the girl at the state dept wasn't sure if she was a citizen. i've got a territorial birth certificate but since its from hawaii most americans know thats part of the us. i got away with signing my own stuff in high school by using pretend japanese. i was living on my own and faking was easier than explaining. no one read japanese at my school. which is good  neither do i

[Uncle Bubba]

kin da like my sisters birth certificate that lists wake island. it made me shudder that the girl at the state dept wasn't sure if she was a citizen. i've got a territorial birth certificate but since its from hawaii most americans know thats part of the us. i got away with signing my own stuff in high school by using pretend japanese. i was living on my own and faking was easier than explaining. no one read japanese at my school. which is good  neither do i

Before the Atlanta Olympics in '96 a story made the national news about a man in New Mexico who called the Olympic Tickets Hotline, based in Atlanta of course, to place an order and was told he had to contact the US Embassy or Consulate closest to him to place international orders. He tried to explain the difference between his home state and the country just South of it that it was named after and was told, "New Mexico, old Mexico, whatever. You have to contact the Embassy."