At what point do you bail from a restaurant?

[41magsnub]

For me it was 20 minutes after ordering coffee with no coffee, hadn't even ordered food yet, two separate parties seated after me had their drinks and had ordered food, and finally they seated a group with 4 screaming babies next to me in a half full restaurant.

[Gewehr98]

I've been known to do that when the wait staff basically forgot about us.

[Standing Wolf]

I don't eat in restaurants any more except when I'm on vacation: they're all for non-smokers.

[Hawkmoon]

For me it was 20 minutes after ordering coffee with no coffee, hadn't even ordered food yet, two separate parties seated after me had their drinks and had ordered food, and finally they seated a group with 4 screaming babies next to me in a half full restaurant.

You are a very patient man.

I would have been gone after ten minutes, or after even ONE party who arrived after me had been served.

[tyme]

I don't eat in restaurants any more except when I'm on vacation: they're all for non-smokers.

Have you considered quitting smoking?  :smirk:

[Fly320s]

At what point do you bail from a restaurant?

Thursday night, my wife and I left before we even ordered drinks. 

It wasn't because of the service, we just decided that we weren't in the mood for sushi.  We went there expecting a hibachi-style Japanese restaurant.

[MechAg94]

Hard to say how long I would wait.  I like to think I would make an attempt to talk to a manager before leaving though.

[RevDisk]

Have you considered quitting smoking?  :smirk:

Or do what I do.  I have a vaporizer (e-cigarette, whatever) that I use to 'smoke' now.  If I'm 'smoking' at a business, I usually explain myself to the staff first.  Who usually find the whole thing rather fascinating.  It's fun when anti-smoking nazis try to start a rant, and I explain that I'm 'smoking' essentially water vapor, with no odor or carcinogens...  It's awesome, it usually looks like they're going to have an aneurysm.  They want to tell me to stop 'smoking', but can't usually articulate a reason besides "Because I said so".

For me it was 20 minutes after ordering coffee with no coffee, hadn't even ordered food yet, two separate parties seated after me had their drinks and had ordered food, and finally they seated a group with 4 screaming babies next to me in a half full restaurant.

15 minutes is the absolute most.  Usually with a stop to the front counter to explain why I'm leaving and probably not returning.


Probably the worst thing I've done at a restaurant was to leave half a dollar as a tip.  Not 50 cents, HALF of a dollar.   It was a place near work that I frequented regularly and always tipped pretty well relatively speaking.  I knew most of the staff pretty well.  But one waitress was pretty clueless and rude.

[lupinus]

Heh we have left a penny before on a four top because the service was so bad.

I always leave a tip, even when service is bad.  If I leave nothing, I'm the ahole that forgot to leave a tip.  Leaving a small amount shows I did remember to leave a tip, yet choose a small one.  Some will figure it out, some will think I'm just cheap.

[Antibubba]

I never leave before speaking to the manager.

[Hawkmoon]

I never leave before speaking to the manager.

I guess to me that assumes I have some passing interest in whether or not they improve their service. If I have already lost ... that's LOST, never to be regained ... 10 or 15 or 20 minutes out of my life waiting for service that never materialized, I feel no compulsion to expend yet more time waiting for and then possibly arguing with a lout of a manager over the (lack of) service. When I walk out, I won't be returning, so I couldn't care less if they figure out why the customer at table/booth 13 left before ordering.

[Mabs2]

My dad and his GF sat down in a Ruby Tuesday's I think and immediately saw a giant rat.  They got up and told another couple whose expression said that they saw it too that "THAT WAS A RAT" but they just sat speechless while my dad and gf left.

[Standing Wolf]

Have you considered quitting smoking?

Yeah. When my ashes reach room temperature.

[red headed stranger]

I probably would have left sooner.  Seeing someone else seated would have clinched it.  It would have been a sign to me that the rest of the dining experience was headed to frustrationville. 

[Antibubba]

I guess to me that assumes I have some passing interest in whether or not they improve their service. If I have already lost ... that's LOST, never to be regained ... 10 or 15 or 20 minutes out of my life waiting for service that never materialized, I feel no compulsion to expend yet more time waiting for and then possibly arguing with a lout of a manager over the (lack of) service. When I walk out, I won't be returning, so I couldn't care less if they figure out why the customer at table/booth 13 left before ordering.

Well, if the manager is a lout, sure, just leave.  Most aren't.  I'm not necessarily going to write off a place just because of one night's bad service, especially if I've had good service before.  And you're losing more than 15 minutes, because you have to go find food elsewhere, and you're spending a few hours fuming about it.   But most of the managers I've talked to are very apologetic, and when it happens I usually end up with a free meal.  Because for every guy like me who talks to them, there's a great many more like you who walk out without saying a word.  Business, even in good times, is never so good that you want to lose customers.

[GigaBuist]

Only once and it was on our Honeymoon.

Wife and I were in Niagra Falls and she picked our hotel because it was close to a restaurant she'd heard good things about online.  As we walked up to the place saw people on the patio eating and having a good time.  It was a nice and about 70 degrees out.  When we entered we were asked if we had a reservation and we said no.  We were told we'd have to eat on the patio then.

Wonderful!  We'd prefer it.

As we're escorted to our table we hit the patio and my head gets hot.  Must be some kind of propane heater out here sitting next to the door.  We sit down and my head is still burning.  I look up and what do I see?

Freaking infrared lights 4' feet above my head.  You see that kind thing in barns to keep chickens warm. Soon as you look up the damned thing starts cooking your eyeballs.  I was in pain within minutes.  So was the wife.  The couple at the table next to us kept changing seats to shield each other from the damned things.  I can't imagine why anybody would think this is a good idea, but they'd done it, and there were plenty of people putting up with it.  We waited, thinking we'd get used to it, but after 10 minutes and no drinks we turned a "not an exit" into an exit and got out of there.

It still pisses me off that a place can be that dumb and still be in business.  I really don't get it.  We ended up wandering around Niagra Falls and had dinner at another hotel's bar and had a pretty good time.

[Kyle]

Lol.

I just have to chime in. i love hearing people talk about irritating restaurant experiences. Because often, if not USUALY, it is the customer's fault. Don't get me wrong, there are some poorly run places out there, and certainly poor or terrible servers exist. I'm not necessarily accusing anyone here of these faults, but here goes.

1. "The table next to us got here AFTER us, and they already have their food. What gives?"

The table next to you ordered seared ahi tuna salads. Seared rare. Ticket time? 2-3 minutes. Your wife ordered her (previously delicious) 12oz filet mignon WELL DONE, and scoffed at my offer to have our expert chef's deftly butterfly it for you.

2. "It's cold in here."

Let me give you a clue. The table next to you complained about being hot a minute ago. I am hot. I am running around on my feet all day, spending a lot of time in the hot kitchen. So, I turned the AC up. Also, the table who complained about being hot are some of my best regular customers who spend thousands of dollars a year here, and single handedly pay my phone and water bill every month. You are SOL.

3. "We're just going to go because you dont have sushi/only have sushi/whatever." Combine this with complaints about "LOSING 10 minutes of my life waiting for service."

Well, I just lost 10 minutes of my time and money because you were too dense to take a precursory glance at the menu posted at the front door.

4. "We left because the wait staff forgot about us."

Waiters do not FORGET about people. We might forget an item, etc but not your WHOLE TABLE. We make our money based on the ability to remember EVERYTHING from what you ordered to what kind of garnish you liked on a drink we served you ONE TIME a month ago. If your table was "forgotten" its because the servers were huddled in the back of the restaurant arguing over who would be the unlucky one to wait on you. You were intentionally forgotten. Which leads me to...

5. "We always get bad service at that place/that part of town."

These are often the same people who "once left a half dollar tip." Waiters and bartenders talk. Some people work at more than one place. Some move around a lot. We all hang out with other waiters and bartenders, and we gripe. We remember faces. If you are in the habit of "corrective tipping," then you are likely to receive poor service on a regular basis. Intentionally poor.

6. "The service sucked, so I left the dime I found on the floor by my chair hahaha." or "I forgot to leave a tip."

You are a thief. If you purchase a product, and you find it defective or lacking, you either suck it up and pay for it, or you return it and get your money back. If the service is AWEFUL, speak to a manager. He will comp or completely discount your food. If the service was just unsatisfactory, you cant just NOT pay for it. Tip 10 percent instead of 20, but NOTHING or a token passive-aggressive insult tip? You stole. Tipping is not optional.

If you FORGET to leave a tip, and it is at all possible, return to the place and tip the poor guy. If you have never waited tables before, maybe you do not know about tip-out? If you order $100 worth of sushi and "forget" to leave a tip, 2 things happen. Not only does your waiter not get tipped, but he has to PAY $6 to the sushi chef at the end of the night. Regardless of what you tipped him. Someone mentioned hibachi. Forget to tip on a $100 tab? The server is out $7-8, easy. To the teppanyaki chef. Forget to tip your cocktail server on a $30 martini tap? He is out $1-2 to the bartender who made your drinks.

Moral of the story? Go back and tip your server once you realize your mistake. If you gave a friend a ride and they left something in your car, would you shrug and keep it or would you give it back to them? Not only are you not paying for a service, your server is PAYING for you to eat. That is not cool.

I could go on and on. But here are some general hints.

We can tell, with 90 percent accuracy, what kind of tipper you will be.

You are not special. In fact, chances are, you are probably undesirable. Yes, I am rushing you. Why? Because I waited on you 3 weeks ago. I know you don't remember me, but I remember you. You made me explain every item on the menu to you, and ended up ordering fried rice. Or, I provided you with samples of 6 different wines and you ordered none of them. Or, you did any number or combination of pain-in-the-butt things. Then, you complimented the food, and my service, and still only tipped me 10 or 15 percent. I am rushing you because I have a couple waiting for your table over at the bar. They have dinner with me every friday night, and call ahead to make sure I am working (so they can stay home if I am not). They tip me 30 percent every time. Their minimum tip is a $20 bill (even if their tab is $20). Yes, I am rushing you. Please finish your food and leave. You are not a bright and special flower. You are not a unique snowflake.

Think of your server as your friend, as your business partner. Scratch their back, they will scratch yours. They are your server, not your servant. Make nice, and you can impress that potential mate at dinner or new business partner at lunch.

When I lived in and worked in San Antonio, I had my entire section filled, almost every Sunday, with Spurs players and their wives and/or families for brunch. They asked for me by name. They have Amex black cards. You do not. They order 6 entrees for the 2 of them because they want to try all of it. You do not. You need me more than I need you, because I have good customers waiting in line behind you. You need my time and service at my table at the restaurant that accepts no reservations and has at least a 1-hour wait 5 nights a week more than I need you wasting my time.

Wow. This is the biggest, angriest rant I have ever written about such a lame topic lol. Sorry, I just worked a double.

P.S. This rant only applies to good restaurants.

[RocketMan]

Gotta love them psychic waiters with chips on their shoulders.  I'll remember that the next time I am seated at a restaurant that I am visiting for the first time, and promptly forgotten by the wait staff.  Something that has happened more than once.  Despite greeting said wait staff with a cheerful smile and good humor as they show me to my seat.

[RevDisk]

These are often the same people who "once left a half dollar tip." Waiters and bartenders talk. Some people work at more than one place. Some move around a lot. We all hang out with other waiters and bartenders, and we gripe. We remember faces. If you are in the habit of "corrective tipping," then you are likely to receive poor service on a regular basis. Intentionally poor.

How interesting.  I did figure that it'd generally either a) let a server know they did a bad job and probably should improve or b) make the server believe I was being rude with no justification.  I'm usually a pretty high tipper.  The server who got half a dollar as a tip did in fact complain to her coworkers that I was a cheap bastard.  All of them gave her the hairy eyeball and asked what she did as I normally leave roughly 25-30%, which is apparently high for work lunch pizzeria type places. 

6. "The service sucked, so I left the dime I found on the floor by my chair hahaha." or "I forgot to leave a tip."

You are a thief. If you purchase a product, and you find it defective or lacking, you either suck it up and pay for it, or you return it and get your money back. If the service is AWEFUL, speak to a manager. He will comp or completely discount your food. If the service was just unsatisfactory, you cant just NOT pay for it. Tip 10 percent instead of 20, but NOTHING or a token passive-aggressive insult tip? You stole. Tipping is not optional.

WTF?  Tipping under the vague 'going rate' is theft, as in a crime?   Since when?  I'm assuming you mean in some metaphorical sense.  Unless it is specified, in writing and usually directly in the menu, that a minimum gratuity or tip is required, it's optional.  Expected, but optional.

I like generously tipping.  I really hate the attitude that tipping is mandatory.  It's supposed to be a reward for excellent service, not an entitlement program.  I work reasonably hard for my money.  I've worked more than one 100 hour work week, on salary.  (Admittedly, it's not always that bad and I love my work.).  If a server does a bad job, why exactly am I mandated in your mind to pay them 20% or more of my meal cost for essentially less than five minutes of relatively simplistic activity? 

If you FORGET to leave a tip, and it is at all possible, return to the place and tip the poor guy. If you have never waited tables before, maybe you do not know about tip-out? If you order $100 worth of sushi and "forget" to leave a tip, 2 things happen. Not only does your waiter not get tipped, but he has to PAY $6 to the sushi chef at the end of the night. Regardless of what you tipped him. Someone mentioned hibachi. Forget to tip on a $100 tab? The server is out $7-8, easy. To the teppanyaki chef. Forget to tip your cocktail server on a $30 martini tap? He is out $1-2 to the bartender who made your drinks.

If a server is paying for the opportunity to do their employment, shouldn't they be pretty motivated to do an excellent job?   A server would have to be pretty stupid to PAY to work, do the work poorly, and then get pissed off that they were poorly tipped.  Obviously, free market situation.  A smart server would have his or her act together and do an excellent job, while being reasonably polite and professional to even the dumbest clients.  And make tons of cash for doing so.  I'm not sure how I should appropriately describe someone who pays for the privilege of a job, does it poorly, and believes they are somehow morally entitled to extra money. 

I could understand the poor treatment if a handful of big value customers provided the bulk of one's tips.  Play the professional for the whales, fast and sloppy for the plankton because you want to make your bank on volume.  That makes a fair amount of sense.

We can tell, with 90 percent accuracy, what kind of tipper you will be.

And that's the problem, I think.  I've heard that from most of my associates that did waiting.  That's also why servers believe it's ok to provide bad service.  If you know exactly what kind of a tip you're getting, there's less incentive.  Why go the extra mile (or in too many cases, just providing general competence) if you will get the same level of tip regardless of behavior?  And that's the beauty of tips as an entitlement.  It promotes complacency. 

Think of your server as your friend, as your business partner. Scratch their back, they will scratch yours. They are your server, not your servant. Make nice, and you can impress that potential mate at dinner or new business partner at lunch.

No friend or business partner would ever assume they are entitled to my cash as an entitlement. 

Now, hell, I agree with you.  I love working with a professional, regardless of the profession.  When I meet a server that's a professional, I go out of my way to be friendly (ie polite, friendly and lots of cash).  I'm not inclined to be as friendly towards unprofessionals.  Less friendly, mind you, not unfriendly.  It doesn't usually pay dividends to put folks on unfriendly terms. 

I'm still pondering your earlier comments that I should treat an incompetent, rude not-professional the same (or nearly so) as a professional?  It makes no sense whatsoever. 

[Gewehr98]

The thread did take a bit of a dour note, didn't it?

Like any other profession, there are good eggs and bad eggs.

Wish I were as good a judge of character as Kyle - it would have saved me some heartburn over the last 40+ years....