More Michigan Jokes..

[Guest]

You would think living here was punishment enough, but no...

A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven.

Others though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing.

"Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering. Why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the others?"

"Oh those . ." Satan groaned. "They're all from Michigan. They're still too cold and wet to burn."

[grampster]

I knew we were good for sumpin'...Pissin' off Satan.  Works for me.

Er....this is the 3rd time I tried to post this, but something has gone haywire each time.  hmmmmmm

[Lee]

I just had a pleasant Easter weekend in Bay City MI.  
It was sunny and nice..........very odd.

[jefnvk]

That remindes me, I have to go dig up that thread before RT closes.

[onions!]

ALL true!!!


 Jeff Foxworthy's View of Michigan:
 
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping
that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.

If you're proud that your region makes the
national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the
nation, you might live in Michigan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from Labor Day
through March, you might live in Michigan.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving
around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan.

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same
time, you might live in Michigan.

If your town has an equal number of bars and
churches, you might live in Michigan.

Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANDER
 when.............
 
1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
 blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and then
leave them both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowmobile suit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Ohio
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
18. You go out to a fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You drink pop and bake with soda.
23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.
24. You know what a "yooper" is.
25. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.
26. You know that UP is a place not a direction
27. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.
28. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
 your Michigan friends !! :-)

[Michigander]

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

LOL! So True! In a Ford Probe no less! Ha! No problem.


Another one to add to the list akin to knowing what a "yooper" is:

29. You know what a "troll" is.

[Jason]

1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75.    Yes.

2. You measure distance in hours.    Yes.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.    My best friend.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.     Yes.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.     I have done this in a Ford Taurus.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).    Yes

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and then
leave them both unlocked.    Never! I have the lights, but would never leave the doors unlocked

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them.    Yes

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowmobile suit.    No kids.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.     So true it's not even funny!

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction.     Again, so true it's not even funny!

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.     Who can't?

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.     No deer here, it's a racoon.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.    I knew, ok?

15. Down South to you means Ohio.    Where esle would down south be?

16. A brat is something you eat.    Hate them, but know all about them.

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.     I hate to say this, but my neighbor really did this. Only thing was, it's a barn.

18. You go out to a fish fry every Friday.    Only sometimes, I likey fish.

19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.     Done it.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.    No, but close/

21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."    Again, who doesn't?

22. You drink pop and bake with soda.    You really got me on that one.

23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.    I know what it is, but I hate it.

24. You know what a "yooper" is.     Yes

25. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.    Buy American ya hippie.

26. You know that UP is a place not a direction    Yep

27. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.    As long as your name isn't Tom

28. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Michigan friends !! :-)    I couldn't, because we have heard them all before.

[El Tejon]

You think a Hoosier is a Johnny Reb.

[grampster]

You think a Hoosier is a Johnny Reb.

As well as a malodorous ridge runnin' zombie bear.

[El Tejon]

Bah!  I bite my grilled veggies and breaded pork tenderloin at you, sir!

[grampster]

Well I had Veggie soup tonight with a liberal dose of a fine wine. hehe

[Jason]

I had some finger foods from Wendy's.

[onions!]

Meatloaf w/potatoes au gratin.

Mmmmmmmmmmm:)

[jefnvk]

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

I never realized how bad College Ave. was until the snow melted this week.