DHS Agrees With CDC - Zombies Are Coming!

[Ben]

Looks like DHS is copying the CDC thing from a while back (September is National Disaster Preparedness Month).

Despite people complaining that this stuff is gimmicky and govt waste, I actually like them using humor to get people's attention. Obviously most people here are beyond what they recommend for minimal preparedness. How many people at Katrina and other disasters though, showed up to evac centers and elsewhere without even a freakin' bottle of water in their hands? If humorous stuff like this can get more people to get at least very basic supplies together, I see it as saving taxpayer money in the long run in not having to bail out completely clueless people. I'd rather see this relatively small amount of tax money spent to educate people, versus spending MUCH more for FEMA to show up somewhere and bail everyone out with food, shelter, etc.

Plus, we all know this isn't really humor, because there really IS going to be a Zombie Apocalypse.    

None of the links I followed linked to any DHS site where they actually list recommendations like the CDC did in their zombie campaign. I'd be interested to see what DHS recommends for preparedness supplies.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ZOMBIE_APOCALYPSE?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-09-06-17-39-15

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/06/homeland-security-warns-the-zombies-are-coming_n_1862768.html?1346969251

[Fitz]

THEY PROBABLY PLAN ON PATTING DOWN THE ZOMBIES!

[brimic]

"The zombies are coming!" the Homeland Security Department says.

There is a lot of truth in that statement whether they meant it or not, all we need to wait for is the .gov teat to dry up.

[kgbsquirrel]

THEY PROBABLY PLAN ON PATTING DOWN THE ZOMBIES!

That will certainly whittle down the TSA population, but after they become zombies themselves, would that be an improvement or simply maintaining the status quo?  

[AZRedhawk44]

There is a lot of truth in that statement whether they meant it or not, all we need to wait for is the .gov teat to dry up.

A friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago, about the innernetz fascination with zombie slaying.

I told him that "zombie" was not-so-subtle allegory for societal leeches.

1. Zombie brain-hunger is just like people that don't think for themselves and need to rely on others to think for them.
2. Zombies have no long term goals.  They are 100% reactive.
3. Zombies work as a mass, but not as a team.
4. Zombies are often created due to government actions, and would not exist in a natural world.

[RevDisk]

That will certainly whittle down the TSA population, but after they become zombies themselves, would that be an improvement or simply maintaining the status quo?  

TSA as actual non-metaphorical zombies are more likely to try to kill you. But as TSA Non-Metaphorical Zombies (TSA-NMZ), they are unlikely to sexually assault you and it would be legally acceptable to kill them on the spot.

So, improvement. Extremely great improvement.

A friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago, about the innernetz fascination with zombie slaying.

I told him that "zombie" was not-so-subtle allegory for societal leeches.

1. Zombie brain-hunger is just like people that don't think for themselves and need to rely on others to think for them.
2. Zombies have no long term goals.  They are 100% reactive.
3. Zombies work as a mass, but not as a team.
4. Zombies are often created due to government actions, and would not exist in a natural world.

Actually it's a bit simpler. It's a group of quasi-people that it is ok to hate and want to destroy. Like Nazis. Notice how many "killing Nazi" games or movies exist, compared to EVERY OTHER social group on the planet? There is no Zombie Defamation League to sue you or protest your product. There is no nation that will demand your government lean on you because you made that country look bad.

That's it. I laughed at this. Basically, it thinks zombies are the complete opposite. Vampires are Dems, Zombies are Republicans.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19402_6-mind-blowing-ways-zombies-vampires-explain-america.html

[brimic]

Actually it's a bit simpler. It's a group of quasi-people that it is ok to hate and want to destroy. Like Nazis. Notice how many "killing Nazi" games or movies exist, compared to EVERY OTHER social group on the planet? There is no Zombie Defamation League to sue you or protest your product. There is no nation that will demand your government lean on you because you made that country look bad.

Add space aliens and tobacco executives to the list too.

[zxcvbob]

Actually it's a bit simpler. It's a group of quasi-people that it is ok to hate and want to destroy. Like Nazis. Notice how many "killing Nazi" games or movies exist, compared to EVERY OTHER social group on the planet? There is no Zombie Defamation League to sue you or protest your product. There is no nation that will demand your government lean on you because you made that country look bad.

zadl.org

[Tallpine]

saving taxpayer money in the long run in not having to bail out completely clueless people

Where is bailing out completely clueless people listed in the Constitution as one of the duties or powers of the fed.gov 

[Ben]

Where is bailing out completely clueless people listed in the Constitution as one of the duties or powers of the fed.gov 

When has that ever stopped them?

[Tallpine]

When has that ever stopped them?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetorical_question

[Ben]

What does "rhetorical" mean?

[Tallpine]

What does "rhetorical" mean?

Do you expect me to answer that ?   

[French G.]

That will certainly whittle down the TSA population, but after they become zombies themselves, would that be an improvement or simply maintaining the status quo?  

Well, they'd be faster and smarter plus as mentioned quite acceptable to shoot. So, huge improvement. Can we redo "Soul Plane" into "Brains Planes?"

[Scout26]

What does "rhetorical" mean?

Slow Down.....

 

[Ben]

Slow Down.....

 

 

Best comedy scene EVER.

[MechAg94]

Well, they'd be faster and smarter plus as mentioned quite acceptable to shoot. So, huge improvement. Can we redo "Soul Plane" into "Brains Planes?"

Call it Zombies on a Plane and bring in Samuel L. Jackson.

[RoadKingLarry]

Doesn't the DHS classify people that prepare for disaster as potential domestic terrorists?

[brimic]

[erictank]

That will certainly whittle down the TSA population, but after they become zombies themselves, would that be an improvement or simply maintaining the status quo?  

To give Team Sexual Assault what little credit is due them, I'm *PRETTY* sure they haven't tried to eat anyone's brains.

Yet.

[RoadKingLarry]

That's because the only experience the have with brains is 2nd hand.

[Tallpine]

To give Team Sexual Assault what little credit is due them, I'm *PRETTY* sure they haven't tried to eat anyone's brains.

Yet.

No - just their souls