Well, you know the definition of celibate . . . sell a bit here, sell a bit there . . .
There's also the tale of Father O'Malley. He was walking down Dublin High Street one day when he happened to see Mrs. O'Donnell. He called to her and said "Mrs. O'Donnell, was I not after marryin' yez just a few years ago? How are you? And how's Mr. O'Donnell? And the children?"
"Oh, Father," replied Mrs. O'Donnell, "me 'usband's foine, thank yez very much, but we've no children yet. We're tryin', yez understan', but no luck so far."
"Well, Mrs. O'Donnell", said Father O'Malley, "I'm after goin' to Rome on pilgrimage next week. Oi'll light a candle in St. Peter's Cathedral for yez both, and we'll see what the Blessed Mother can do about some children for yez."
So he went off to Rome, and lit the candle as promised, and then forgot about it. Some years went by.
One day he was walking down Dublin High Street again, and saw Mrs. O'Donnell ahead of him, pushing a stroller and with two kids by her side. He called to her, "Mrs. O'Donnell! How nice to see yez again! An' I see that Our Lady has answered my prayers! How many children have yez now?"
"Oh, Father!" replied Mrs. O'Donnell, with a harassed air. "Oi've twins in the stroller here, and young Jamie and Mary beside me, an' there's one more at home with Da' - and I'm expecting another in the summer!"
"Oh, praise be!" exulted Father O'Malley. "How greatly ye've been blessed! And what does Mr. O'Donnell think about your good fortune?"
"Well, Father, he's off to Rome on pilgrimage himself next week."
"Oh - is he goin' to give thanks?"
"No, Father - he's goin' to blow out that bloody candle!"