Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy.

[Stand_watie]

This commercial cracks me up.

Having lived in Texas longer than in anyplace else, but having grown up in Indiana, N. Carolina, Maine, and Michigan, and also having lived in Mississippi and Colorado, I can say that this phenomenon is somewhat unique to Texas. The closest other comparisons I have seen are confederate pride, American patriotism in general, or pride of a specific city like New Yorkers or Londoners.

All you world travelers out there, do any of you have good regional examples of similar pride of geographical heritage?

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Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius.

Real Men of Genuis

Today we salute you Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy.
(chorus girls) "Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy!"
Men from lesser states might know their states capital, but you? You know youre states bird, tree and even reptile.
(chorus girls) "Love that horny toad."
You display your pride with your Lone Star tattoo, Native Texan bumper sticker, and contempt for any state that doesnt start with Tex and end with as.
(chorus girls)"That spells Texas."
Sure, there are 49 other states in the Union, but they are smaller, wussier, and the people talk funny.
(chorus girls)"Yankee wussies."
So crack open a nice cold Bud Light, oh lover of the Lone Star state. Because all that flag waving must have made you thirsty.

[Preacherman]

Reminds me of the Texan my sister met shortly after immigrating to Canada.  She took her two kids (5 and 3 years old) to Niagara Falls, and took the boat trip into the bowl of the falls.  On the boat was a Texan family, complete with Stetsons, belt buckles, etc.  She says everyone was waiting for them to say that Texas had something bigger and better than the Falls . . . but they were silent all through the trip.

As the boat docked, she couldn't stand it any more, and turning to them, she said to the guy, "You know, we've been waiting for you to tell us that Texas has something bigger and better than Niagara Falls."

He looked at her solemnly, and in a dead-pan voice replied, "No, Ma'am.  In Texas we got plumbers that can fix this!"

 

[roo_ster]

Funniest political ad of the season is an ad that rips on Chris Bell, the sacrificial Democrat running for Texas governor.

It is "Mr. Way Too Liberal for Texas Guy."
http://www.rickperry.org/audio/MrWayTooLiberal.mp3

First time I heard it in the pickup, I just about choked on my coffee.  The French bit is priceless.

[Perd Hapley]

Yeah, aside from the humidity, that was the only thing I didn't like about Texas.  I was stationed there for a couple of years. 

the sacrificial Democrat running for Texas governor.

Now that IS nice.  Wish I could have that attitude in Missouri. 

[Art Eatman]

Humidity?  Heck, I've seen it get all the way up to 30%!

There was the New Yorker who told the Texan that they were tired of Texans coming in and causing trouble; they'd build a gold fence around the city to keep Texans out.

"Go ahead," said the Texan, "and if we like it, we'll buy it."

Here's a joke for all the Californians:  I walked into a gunstore where I'd never been seen before.  I laid down my CHL and my money and walked out with an Ar-15, a Barrett .50 and a 15-round-capable pistol with extra magazines.

Here's a joke for folks in the northeastern US:  Gov. Perry called a special session of the Legislature, and signed a bill whereby eminent domain can only be used for public use, not public benefit.  And he signed all of the several pro-gun bills passed by the Legislature.

Hey, it's a rough life, but somebody's gotta live it...

, Art

[Jamisjockey]

Why do they say "Don't mess with Texas!"?
Because it ain't nice to pick on retards!

I lived in Texas.  Twice.  They can keep it.

[Matthew Carberry]

Me, I like a state with some elbow room.  Can't hardly swing a dead cat in Texas without crossing a state line.

[The Rabbi]

Graffitti on bathroom stall:

Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin'
Giving birth
To another Texan.

[Perd Hapley]

Me, I like a state with some elbow room.  Can't hardly swing a dead cat in Texas without crossing a state line.

You must live in Alaska.

[Stand_watie]

Yeah, aside from the humidity, that was the only thing I didn't like about Texas.  I was stationed there for a couple of years. 

the sacrificial Democrat running for Texas governor.

Now that IS nice.  Wish I could have that attitude in Missouri. 

Missouri would actually be the best compromise that I can think of where both a Yankee and a Southron could live together and neither feel totally outcast.

The only north-eastern state that I can think of that is utterly and solidly as conservative as Texas is Indiana. The west or (non-pacific-coast) northwest would be perfect for me politically as I like the mix of conservative and libertarian attitudes, I simply am not man enough to take the brutal winters (of the non-pacific-northwest) or the combination of almost-brutal summers and almost-brutal winters (of the central west).

Is Hawaii heaven? No. Is Alaska heaven? No. But if we could transplant Alaska's political attitude (without the severe suicidal depression of many  {indigeneous especially} Alaskans) and, and maybe one month of winter (Alaska's October) to Hawaii, we would have heaven, IMHO.

Of course your mileage on that may vary. You might be uber-liberal and want 12 months of snow and bitter cold or be traditionally statist-conservative and prefer 12 months of sahara desert heat.

One great thing about Texas (for that matter, it applies to Alaska even more, although it's not considered usually), is it's so large and located upon climate change lines, that it has such a varied climate that a Texan can be a plains dweller, a desert dweller, a deep southroner, a sub-tropical beach lover, or a rio-grande valley fruit farmer.

[Norris]

State pride has always been stronger here in Texas than any other state. Texas has long had a very unique culture, drawl and attitude.
But things have changed. Texas isn't Texas anymore, just as America isn't America anymore. Sad.

[Art Eatman]

I boomed around the world for a dozen years, wandering through about twenty countries.  I've lived for spells in the northeast, Deeeetroit, the southeast, and travelled all over the western states.  I guess I've spent a fair amount of time in some 35 or so of the states.

I quite happily moved back to Texas.  Austin got to be way too weird for me, neither fish nor fowl for decent living.  Too frantic.  Too many peopple either working at having fun, or busy messing in other folks' business.  The inmates took over the asylum.  So, I voted with my feet and moved out here to the desert.  By and large, west Texas is pretty much still Texas.  All the way from Armadiller down here to Terlingua.  Yeah, some new stuff, sure, but a lot of the old-time hospitality is still here.

Back when Hondo Crouch was still alive and doing his Luckenbach World's Fair games, the motto there was, "Everybody's somebody, at Luckenbach."  There's a bunch of us who have that attitude, no matter where we are.

, Art

[Matthew Carberry]

Me, I like a state with some elbow room.  Can't hardly swing a dead cat in Texas without crossing a state line.

You must live in Alaska.

I have that privilege.

Of course, a good third of the year up here swinging a dead cat will get you busted for reckless endangerment.  You can't go flailing solidly frozen carcasses around without repercussions.