Is this good advice?

[Perd Hapley]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_toRV6ziOYg

Just wonderin' what you people thought.

[BlueStarLizzard]

I would say it depends on the kid, the situation and consistency (and when I say consistency, I mean being consistent on whatever method you use)

*shrug* I think there is some validity to the things he said, but also some BS. Like the kids responding better to simple instructions rather than more complex instructions. Yes, simple is better, but not just because it's more authoritarian. It works better because kids are going to be more receptive to understanding 10 words and start tuning you out after that, because they are kids with limited attention spans and without the cognitive development of an adult.

The explanation thing is also something I would see as situational. Some tasks need explanation and some people work better if they understand why they are doing the task. "Because I said so." didn't work well with me, much to my mother's dismay at times. Some times it didn't work because I was being a little *expletive deleted*it, but other times it didn't work simply because I didn't really understand why I had to be doing what I was doing, so I didn't do it right.

[Hawkmoon]

I would say it's mostly BS.

The explanation thing is also something I would see as situational. Some tasks need explanation and some people work better if they understand why they are doing the task. "Because I said so." didn't work well with me, much to my mother's dismay at times. Some times it didn't work because I was being a little *expletive deleted*it, but other times it didn't work simply because I didn't really understand why I had to be doing what I was doing, so I didn't do it right.

While I agree that some tasks require explanation while other tasks (or, perhaps, other situations) don't, a "Do it now because I said so" approach on the part of the parent can be effective. Much depends on the parent(s). Since I'm at least one, and probably two, generation(s) older than Liz, my experience was a bit different from hers. When I was a kid, we learned early that actions had consequences. The consequence of sassing or disobeying a parent was the application of one of my father's wide, leather belts to my bare buttocks.

Today, of course, that's not considered discipline, it's considered to be child abuse. IMHO that's a mistake. In my day, we didn't see kids grow to late teens and early twenties and go out to engage in destructive rampages on college campuses. Demonstrations and protests, yes. Violence and destruction, no. Why? Because we knew that actions [are supposed to] have consequences. There were times in my childhood when I "demanded" an explanation for why something had to be the way I was told it was going to be. Sometimes the answer was, almost verbatim, "Because I'm the parent and I said so." I generally didn't like that, but I accepted it (because I didn't have any viable choice), and I seem to have survived the trauma.

[AJ Dual]

I do notice kids are very resistant to "explanation" even when it's pointing out that it's in their own personal interest. "Charge your phone so you'll have it tomorrow for the car ride to play games." really has no more success than just "Charge your phone". "Quit poking your sister, because you're going to fight and be in a bad mood for the rest of the day." never worked. The shorter instruction at least stands a chance of the kid complying because it's a quick easy simple thing to do, and the kid might to reflexively just decide to do it rather than delay, procrastinate and forget, or decide to resist you for whatever reason.

One thing that worked amazingly well on my kids, at least when they were little was to get them to repeat back what they had been told to do, and then say "okay". Even if you had to order them to say "okay", once they said it, task completion or following the order was in excess of 90%.

Always seemed to me like getting them to verbalize it set the idea in their brain, or at least added an extra barrier to cross, going back on their word, rather than not promising to do it.

I also tried to drill into them a little question and response. "What does listening REALLY mean?" and they were to answer "Listening means do it." and I'd ask, "When?" and they were to answer "Right now." wasn't perfect, but I also noticed that I could get all four girls to say that, because it became kind of a group thing, a litany, kind of like basic training marching cadences or something. Again not nearly 100% effective, but it did noticeably increase the rate of compliance.

[Perd Hapley]

I assume the "because I said so" advice is more for younger children.