"I get upset when they don't light every single time you pull the trigger..."
Your life is just an unmitigated disaster, an unimaginable horror show of crushed expectations...
Seriously, how can you get out of bed in the mornings, knowing that you might have to pull the trigger on that instant match TWICE? I mean, *expletive deleted*ing TWICE? IS THERE NO JUSTICE? IS THERE NO GOD?
When you're bitching about stuff like that, your first world problems have collided with your white privilege and created a massive *expletive deleted*che hole at the center of your universe...
Oh, and those instant match things piss me off, too...