New Rules

[Paddy]

Now that's funny right there I don't care who y'are.   

[The Rabbi]

Now that's funny right there I don't care who y'are.   

I knew we'd agree on something Riley.

[Marnoot]

Thanks, Grampster. That's the first laugh I've had in a couple of days.

Oh, and you don't like having to swipe your credit card at the checkout counter? Try going to Home Depot. You check everything out yourself. You swipe the bar codes on the packages, you try to figure out the damn computer screen, you weigh the items (why?), you swipe your credit card...you do everything. And if you don't do it fast enough, some computer-generated voice berates you.

Meanwhile, there's some young clerk standing there to make sure you do everything right. Unless Home Depot has an intern program, I'm pretty sure that young clerk is getting paid to watch customers swear at the self-checkout computer.

I'll bet my best pair of underwear that the dim bulb at Home Depot who came up with this cost-saving idea was previously employed with FEMA.

I love the self-checkout lanes. They still have regular lanes if you have alot of stuff, or big stuff. There's rarely a wait on the self-service lanes, I usually get out of the store faster with them. My only complaint with them is its dang weight sensors in the bagging area. If something is too awkward to put there, rather than just back in the cart it squawks and complains.

[Tallpine]

My cousin's kid came back from Iraq two years ago with one of the "Asiatic Lettering" tats. This thread got me curious so I called him about it.  His is the translation of his Cherokee name.  He started laughing when I mentioned it maybe not meaning what he thought.

HA!  I heard a story about a Tartanish bagpipe band who wanted their band name translated into Gaelic.  So they asked a Gael speaker what their band name would be in Gaelic?

They got "Chan eil fhios agam" embroided on all their stuff before they found out what it really meant 

[BlueStarLizzard]

actually the tramp stamps around here all seem to be butterflys. don't ask me why. and yeah, the majority of young ladies with them were very popular with the males, and not for their sparkeling intellect either.

and for the record, i don't have one.

[jrfoxx]

New Rule: No more gift registries.  You know, it used to be just for weddings.  Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.  Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

My favorite. OUT-FREAKIN-STANDING!

[thebaldguy]

I prefer the term "Tramp Stamp". Those tattoos look ok at 21, but I wonder how bad they will look when they're 61.

I tragically know people who have more money wrapped up in tattoos than they do in their bank account. I work with women who constantly buy new clothes and shoes and complain how broke they are.

I shudder to think about their retirement. They will be the ones complaining that Social Security won't give them the money they need, and will insist that taxes for the rest of us increase so they can get more money.

[RevDisk]

I really upset a coworker at my last job.  Imagine you're working the graveyard shift in a concrete cube housing plenty of classified military data and 80% of your coworkers are female and your mom's age.  And talk like your mom.  But with TS clearances.

"You're just about the only kid I've ever seen without a piercing or tattoo."
"Have a phobia about metal going into or through my body, ma'am."
"Why, even my daughter got one.  Though, it's not that bad.  It's a butterfly on the small of her back."
"Right about here?  Oh, you mean a tramp stamp."
"...  WHAT? Is THAT what you call those tattoos?"  (giving me the evil Mom Stare o' Death)
"So is now a bad time to ask for your daughter's number?"
"@&#*$(!"

 

[Mabs2]

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months.  "27 Months."  "He's two," will do just fine.  He's not a cheese.  And I didn't really care in the first place.

One of my personal pet peeves.
"How old is it?"  "12 months!"  "18 months!"  "24 months!"  "48 months!"

[Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas]

FYI re: 'Tramp stamps'
This Spitzer business convinced me to get on Craigslist, and see if Kristen was overpriced. Nearly every hooker they list is 'stamped.'

[Iain]

Poor Bill Maher. George Carlin always gets the credit for this one. When credit is given.

[DJJ]

Hey, I happen to like those carbonated, flavored waters from Wal-Mart!

[Perd Hapley]

actually the tramp stamps around here all seem to be butterflys. don't ask me why. and yeah, the majority of young ladies with them were very popular with the males, and not for their sparkeling intellect either.

and for the record, i don't have one.

Wow, we totally have something in common!!  I don't got no tramp stamp neither. 

I planned on getting a tattoo, just before I got out of the army.  Never did.  Now the wife won't let me.