Author Topic: Barber Shop (Read 6420 times)

Angel Eyes · « **on:** June 10, 2008, 03:44:37 PM »

A tale I would like to share:

I live in a small town, which has exactly one barber shop. The barber shop has exactly one chair. The barber does good haircuts if you catch him before about 3:00 pm, after which he gets drunk and the quality of haircut suffers. The next closest barber is a Supercuts about 5 miles away. Their haircutters do a worse job sober than my barber does drunk. So I stick with this barber and make sure to get in early.

During my latest haircut, between drinks, the barber (we'll call him Dennis, since that is his name) told me about his planter box, which is in front of his shop. The shop is a few doors down from a sleazy dive bar, and one morning Dennis arrived to find that someone (presumably from the sleazy dive bar) had done a face-plant into the planter box and heaved up most of his dinner. Barfly was long gone; his vomit remained. Dennis cleaned up the mess, then drove to the local nursery and bought some little cacti. Which he planted in his planter box.

A few days later, there was evidence that the Barfly had done a repeat performance, right into the cacti. A couple of days after that, one of Dennis' regulars came in for a trim, with numerous small wounds on his face.

"What happened to you?"

"I don't know, man. I must have fell down."

The End.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #1 on:** June 10, 2008, 03:50:40 PM »

Quote

I live in a small town, which has exactly one barber shop. The barber shop has exactly one chair. The barber does good haircuts if you catch him before about 3:00 pm, after which he gets drunk and the quality of haircut suffers.

That's pretty funny, too.

zahc · « **Reply #2 on:** June 10, 2008, 07:49:36 PM »

There is a strange but cool barber in Cambridge, OH that keeps various, loaded firearms strewn about the place. I remember picking up a magazine to sit down, but discovering a glock that I also had to transfer to the end table in order to do so.

I stopped at the closest barber shop here in Richardson, TX thinking that it would be cheap and fast, because barber shops usually are compared to the wimpy smelly fashion places that sell tons of shampoo and lack girly magazines. But alas it was like $18 for a simple haircut, and I now go to supercuts. Apparently in this marketplace you can actually charge more at an old-timey barbershop, a premium for the atmosphere it would seem. It's almost worth it.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #3 on:** June 10, 2008, 07:58:06 PM »

Barber shops are supposed to have girly magazines? shocked

Fly320s · « **Reply #4 on:** June 11, 2008, 03:14:34 AM »

Zahc,

Was that Sid's in the Richardson Heights shopping center?

wmenorr67 · « **Reply #5 on:** June 11, 2008, 03:21:11 AM »

Right now I am only paying $3 for a hair cut about every two weeks.

Antibubba · « **Reply #6 on:** June 11, 2008, 06:51:32 AM »

Quote

Barber shops are supposed to have girly magazines?

Yes. Hunting and Fishing magazines are required as well. Congress enacted it during Teddy Roosevelt's term. Wink

Tallpine · « **Reply #7 on:** June 11, 2008, 07:05:54 AM »

I hate barbershops.

My wife has cut my hair for the past 27 years.

If it wasn't for that I would probably have hair down to my waist. laugh

Boomhauer · « **Reply #8 on:** June 11, 2008, 07:22:35 AM »

Wahl brand clippers are great. 1/8th inch buzzcut every few weeks. Free. quick and easy to wash and dry.

seeker_two · « **Reply #9 on:** June 11, 2008, 07:43:53 AM »

I have my hair cut for $7 by a nice Vietnamese lady who used to interrogate pilots before she moved to the states...and she has the gentle touch to prove it... shocked

I tried a SportsClips in Waco once.....$15 for a haircut and a chance to sit in a faux locker room.....whoopee..... rolleyes

I miss old-fashioned barbers....all the ones around here have retired or died..... sad

anygunanywhere · « **Reply #10 on:** June 11, 2008, 08:05:42 AM »

Quote from: fistful on June 10, 2008, 06:58:06 PM

Barber shops are supposed to have girly magazines? shocked

If not girly magazines then at least hunting and fishing 'zines. If they have Redbook and Vogue, go elsewhere or else turn in your card.

The barber shop I frequent has two signs at the entrance:

"If you do not like the language, leave."

"Misbehaving children will be sold into slavery."

We do watch our language around the children. Telling big fish stories or hunting stories are exempt.

Anygunanywhere

zahc · « **Reply #11 on:** June 11, 2008, 09:19:02 AM »

Quote

Was that Sid's in the Richardson Heights shopping center?

No, it was some place on campbell road between coit and 75. I don't know the name. Decent folks, just not especially cheap.

Balog · « **Reply #12 on:** June 11, 2008, 11:28:06 AM »

Quote from: wmenorr67 on June 11, 2008, 02:21:11 AM

Right now I am only paying $3 for a hair cut about every two weeks.

Silly Army types, paying for haircuts. cheesy

Surely one guy in your unit is good with a pair of clippers?

BlueStarLizzard · « **Reply #13 on:** June 11, 2008, 11:36:34 AM »

i went to get my hair cut about 3 years ago. in someways, long hair is so easy.

and my dad stoped going to get his hair cut about 6 years ago. now he just shaves his head when he shaves his face. nay nay nay.

grin

seeker_two · « **Reply #14 on:** June 11, 2008, 12:13:07 PM »

Quote

Quote from: seeker_two on June 11, 2008, 06:43:53 AM

I have my hair cut for $7 by a nice Vietnamese lady who used to interrogate pilots before she moved to the states...and she has the gentle touch to prove it... shocked

She gives me the same "happy ending" that she gave Sen. McCain....she lets me live.... angel

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #15 on:** June 11, 2008, 12:16:19 PM »

Quote from: Balog on June 11, 2008, 10:28:06 AM

Quote from: wmenorr67 on June 11, 2008, 02:21:11 AM

Right now I am only paying $3 for a hair cut about every two weeks.

Silly Army types, paying for haircuts. cheesy

Surely one guy in your unit is good with a pair of clippers?

The Marine Corps has the advantage, there, as most of you are beauty school graduates. They send the real men to the Army.

Quote from: anygunanywhere on June 11, 2008, 07:05:42 AM

Quote from: fistful on June 10, 2008, 06:58:06 PM

Barber shops are supposed to have girly magazines? shocked

If not girly magazines then at least hunting and fishing 'zines. If they have Redbook and Vogue, go elsewhere or else turn in your card.

"Girly magazine" usually means pron. I've never seen that at a barber shop, and I'd be surprised if I did. No sense in offending the women who bring their six-year-old boys, ya know?

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #16 on:** June 11, 2008, 12:20:53 PM »

Quote from: seeker_two on June 11, 2008, 06:43:53 AM

I tried a SportsClips in Waco once.....$15 for a haircut and a chance to sit in a faux locker room.....whoopee..... rolleyes

Around here they have a place called The Hair Saloon. I think it's supposed to be a sports bar atmosphere, but I'm not enough of a cheeseball to go there.

In Killeen, they had lots of Korean shops that would provide a hair cut for fi' dolla, with a quick massage at the end. Nothing spicy, just kneading your shoulders for a few minutes while you sat in the chair.

Angel Eyes · « **Reply #17 on:** June 11, 2008, 02:01:41 PM »

Quote from: fistful on June 11, 2008, 11:16:19 AM

"Girly magazine" usually means pron. I've never seen that at a barber shop, and I'd be surprised if I did. No sense in offending the women who bring their six-year-old boys, ya know?

The barber who cut my hair when I was a kid had some prOn in the shop. Parents didn't notice until the day I asked them if our dog could be "Pet Of The Year" (I was 8 years old at the time).

After that, they started taking me to a different barber.

xavier fremboe · « **Reply #18 on:** June 11, 2008, 02:31:09 PM »

Quote from: Avenger29 on June 11, 2008, 06:22:35 AM

Wahl brand clippers are great. 1/8th inch buzzcut every few weeks. Free. quick and easy to wash and dry.

Roger that, and cool in the summer. Haven't paid for a haircut since I got married. Of course I have less hair to cut now, but that's beside the point.

Mabs2 · « **Reply #19 on:** June 11, 2008, 03:54:51 PM »

Haircuts are dumb.
I don't get them.
Ever.

Marnoot · « **Reply #20 on:** June 11, 2008, 04:38:09 PM »

Do any of you have those Bikini Cuts in your areas? I've seen a few around here, and I don't fully understand the appeal. Yeah, I can understand the appeal of women in bikinis, but women in bikinis with clients' hair on their bosomage?

Bigjake · « **Reply #21 on:** June 11, 2008, 04:49:25 PM »

back when I got haircuts on a regular basis ( before the advent of Mach 3 blades ), My local place was a tiny little block building with one chair and golf decor all over the place. The barber's name was Buz, a greyheaded crusty old bastard. He'd learned his trade in the .fed prison system after doing 10-15 for organized crime related charges. Hell of a nice old guy, it hasn't been the same since he's been gone.

roo_ster · « **Reply #22 on:** June 11, 2008, 06:50:43 PM »

Quote from: zahc on June 10, 2008, 06:49:36 PM

There is a strange but cool barber in Cambridge, OH that keeps various, loaded firearms strewn about the place. I remember picking up a magazine to sit down, but discovering a glock that I also had to transfer to the end table in order to do so.

I stopped at the closest barber shop here in Richardson, TX thinking that it would be cheap and fast, because barber shops usually are compared to the wimpy smelly fashion places that sell tons of shampoo and lack girly magazines. But alas it was like $18 for a simple haircut, and I now go to supercuts. Apparently in this marketplace you can actually charge more at an old-timey barbershop, a premium for the atmosphere it would seem. It's almost worth it.

I have been going to Park Mall Barber Shop in Plano at Park & Ave K (Hwy 5) for 8 years.

A few bucks cheaper than $18 and nice folks. Kenny Hagan (owner) WILL remember your name.

zahc · « **Reply #23 on:** June 11, 2008, 07:25:08 PM »

I'll have to check that place out. We stop at the donut shop in that shopping center on the way to church every week, so it's right on the way.

Gewehr98 · « **Reply #24 on:** June 11, 2008, 08:24:09 PM »

Quote

Silly Army types, paying for haircuts.

As a Gyrene, Balog doesn't know this, but other branches of service are actually allowed to have hair on their heads.

One rule of thumb my grandfather always told me was to single out the barber with the worst haircut in a barber shop, because you know he didn't cut it himself. Wink

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Author Topic: Barber Shop (Read 6420 times)