Alicia Keyes: Can Someone Be This Stupid And Remember To Breathe?

[roo_ster]

File under, "I am not making this up."

Theres a knock on the hotel-room door, and a minder enters with a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich: lunch. Weve been talking about Keyss early jones for the Notorious B.I.G. My favorite Biggie song is Me & My Bitch, she says, licking a stray globule of jam off her finger. That title doesnt make you think hes speaking about the love of his life, but he is. She throws his *expletive deleted*it out the window, she flushes his drugs down the toiletshes crazy! But if you grew up like that, then you understood, that was love in that world.

We ask what other gangsta rappers she liked. And thats when Keys drives a steamroller through the wall.

Gangsta rap was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other, she says, putting down the sandwich. Gangsta rap didnt exist.

Come again? A ploy by whom?

She looks at us like its the dumbest question in the world. The government.

[BlueStarLizzard]

 

now thats a conspiracy theroy i've never heard. and just when i thought i had heard them all.

[Balog]

Between AIDS, crack, and now thug rap the .gov's been trying to kill them off for a long time. Just goes to show how incompetent the .gov is. 

[The Annoyed Man]

Yea,but she's REALLY pretty.So that makes up for it.
 

[BlueStarLizzard]

Yea,but she's REALLY pretty.So that makes up for it.
 

yes, lets teach our little girls that all they have to do is be pretty to get the boys attention. they don't need to have a brain or learn to think. they can just be pretty.
 

[El Tejon]

I knew!

You White Devils are all in on it!

Was not this theory first proposed by the movie "Crash"?

"Hey, Honky, how's business?"
"Great, Cracker, we're diversifying."

 

I love that line.

[RadioFreeSeaLab]

Yes, Crash covered this theory.  So I'm to understand the fat white bureaucrats came up with gangsta rap...right.

[ilbob]

Yes, Crash covered this theory.  So I'm to understand the fat white bureaucrats came up with gangsta rap...right.

I thought it was the CIA?

[The Annoyed Man]

Between AIDS, crack, and now thug rap the .gov's been trying to kill them off for a long time. Just goes to show how incompetent the .gov is. 

Don't forget guns. Guns were invented to make blacks kill other blacks .

[Tuco]

Makes sense to me, the circle of racist conspiracy...

EasyE, one of the original gangster rappers allegedly made his money selling crack, dumped the profits into studio time, made a name for himself and his band NWA (including the "actor" Ice Cube) with tunes like "F#@& the Police" and "Dopeman" and then died of AIDS.

What Ms. Keyes (who I have to assume is a black woman) seems to be ignoring is the government conspiracy that was hatched to break down the family unit that historically kept young men off the streets, thus fostering the gangster attitude of gaining credibility by out-trickstering other young men without positive role models.

Don't ask me to go into it - I'm ashamed to know this stuff.

[The Annoyed Man]

Yea,but she's REALLY pretty.So that makes up for it.
 

yes, lets teach our little girls that all they have to do is be pretty to get the boys attention. they don't need to have a brain or learn to think. they can just be pretty.
 

Would it have offended you less if my irrelevant comment had been instead something like Who cares?IT's another entertainer running IT's mouth.

Just asking.

[Perd Hapley]

yes, lets teach our little girls that all they have to do is be pretty to get the boys attention. they don't need to have a brain or learn to think. they can just be pretty.
 

Finally, someone's talking some sense around here!   

[agricola]

At the risk of pontificating, it is very sad that after more than a hundred years of dismantling racial barriers we have, as a society, seen over the last twenty years parts of society - professional "community leaders" and Gubermint types being the most guilty -  putting the barriers back up. 

The whole gang culture thing is of course the most odious aspect of this, especially given that it escapes any kind of social stigma (indeed, often its the exact opposite), and is promoted as a lifestyle choice - or at least accepted as a way of life - by people who really should know better (in addition to those stuck in the middle of it).   

edit:  oh, and its not particularly of relevance but she is very pretty.

[BlueStarLizzard]

yes, lets teach our little girls that all they have to do is be pretty to get the boys attention. they don't need to have a brain or learn to think. they can just be pretty.
 

Finally, someone's talking some sense around here!   

this might backfire on you. see, pretty girls are to pretty to cook. and the spend all your money ('cause they don't earn money, their too pretty) on designer clothes and makeup to make them more pretty. they also don't clean the house (and washing dishes is HORRIBLE for their nails) so you'll have to hire a maid.

but thats okay, right? you can afford a pretty girl, can't you? 

[Perd Hapley]

That doesn't sound at all like my wife.  But I still think she's pretty.  So there. 

[Mabs2]

Yea,but she's REALLY pretty.So that makes up for it.
 

Tsk tsk, Onions...  I knew there were more reasons to hate you than your foul flavor.

That doesn't sound at all like my wife.  But I still think she's pretty.  So there. 

In before "fistful's imaginary wife."

[Dntsycnt]

Don't forget abortion.  Abortion was created to kill off all the blacks before they were even born.

[The Annoyed Man]

yes, lets teach our little girls that all they have to do is be pretty to get the boys attention. they don't need to have a brain or learn to think. they can just be pretty.
 

Finally, someone's talking some sense around here!   

this might backfire on you. see, pretty girls are to pretty to cook. and the spend all your money ('cause they don't earn money, their too pretty) on designer clothes and makeup to make them more pretty. they also don't clean the house (and washing dishes is HORRIBLE for their nails) so you'll have to hire a maid.

but thats okay, right? you can afford a pretty girl, can't you? 

This almost is starting to remind me of the Russian Brides thread.

[Mabs2]

*deep breath*
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg

[Scout26]

In a round about backwards way she's kinda right...... While .gov didn't create (c)rap music it did create the welfare state which served to remove the father from the picture and create the welfare state.

[grampster]

"While .gov didn't create (c)rap music it did create the welfare state which served to remove the father from the picture and create the welfare state."

And we need to get rid of the politics of the past (which began to reform the welfare system by turning it into workfare) and hope to change it back to what the welfare state needs to be...modern slavery for firm voter control.
Do I hear an amen....?

[De Selby]

She is a fantastic artist.

Doesn't mean she's a great political or social commentator though-like anything else.  I'm sure there was something Da Vinci sucked at too.

[roo_ster]

Leonardo billed himself as a combat engineer who could also paint & sculpt, in a pinch.

There is one like him every few hundred years.  In a few years, folks will be saying, "Alicia who?"

Anyways, I normally ignore entertainers' blather, but I never though a bunch of red-tape-artists would be accused of inspiring/controlling hip-hop artists.

[Mabs2]

In a few years, folks will be saying, "Alicia who?"

Heck, I've been saying that the whole thread, but I'm not even concerned enough to Google her.

[LadySmith]

Remember, she comes from the Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Spike Lee culture. Poor thing. 
But I heard she likes guns, so there may be hope for her yet. 

The singer-and-actress had to learn to shoot in her new movie Smokin Aces and now she is confident handling a firearm she is seriously contemplating buying one for her own safety.

Keys - who makes her big screen acting debut in the film - said, Ive never owned a gun, but Im seriously considering owning one now. God forbid, if anything happened I would be prepared.

http://la.metblogs.com/2007/01/16/alicia-keys-wants-a-gun/