Okay. First of all, let's start off by getting the facts out of the way:
fact #1: The NBA sucks. College sports are clearly a lot better than pro sports, but even of the pro sports, the NBA is pretty lame, so I think we can all agree that the NBA does in fact suck.
fact #2: The NBA all-star weekend could be dramatically improved if they used my idea:
Here is my idea:
1. No NBA players under the age of 21 are allowed to attend the NBA all-star weekend (you'll see why).
2. In order to participate in ANY of the NBA all-star weekend events (3-point shooting contest, slam dunk contest, NBA all-star game, etc) all participants are REQUIRED to blow a BAC level of NO LESS than .16% (twice the legal driving limit (aka drunk)).
3. This would clearly make the NBA all-star weekend MUCH more enjoyable for the viewing public:
Imagine the 3-point contest, with all the contestants being drunk. (lol)
Imagine the dunk contest, with the contestants missing the rim completely on their dunks, wide-right or wide-left, or getting dizzy and falling down after attempting a 360 dunk, etc. (lol)
Imagine the all-star game, with players having terrible dribbling and passing ability, and crashing into each other constant, with half the team getting double-technical-fouled-out of the game by half time. (lol)
Additional reasons why they should definitely do this:
1. NBA players are already terrible role models in general for kids, so the argument that having them get trashed and play on live tv being a bad influence on kids is irrelevant obviously.
2. Us, the viewers, would have a LOT more fun watching it if all the players were drunk. Obviously.
3. The NBA would make a LOT more money, due to having a LOT more viewers, if they did this, which surely they should want.
4. What is David Stern's cell phone number?
