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Author Topic: Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?  (Read 18201 times)

charby

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #25 on: September 26, 2005, 10:07:31 AM »
"Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?"

For the same reasons people want firearms when the S isn't HTF.
 
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griz

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #26 on: September 26, 2005, 10:25:06 AM »
No fans involved but: I reloaded some rounds for my brothers 243. He went shooting at the cattle farm where he hunts, and reported that the light weight hollow points were much better than the deer bullets for the .... shall we say, targets of opportunity that one finds in a cow pasture. So now he calls that load the cow patty bullets.
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Silver Bullet

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #27 on: September 26, 2005, 10:33:32 AM »
But what youre describing is more a FHTS (or BHTS) scenario instead of SHTF.

Scatalogical humor:  piling it higher and deeper.
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Perd Hapley

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #28 on: September 26, 2005, 01:36:26 PM »
Quote
Good case for an irony smiley.
I need a speechless emoticon.  I couldn't believe the responses I got.  I figured I'd get half-a-dozen responses to my stupid joke, plus a couple of misunderstandings.  

It looks like some just responded to the title, without reading my post.  That is silly, but understandable.  What really cracks me up the responses from Antibubba and JamisJockey, one of whom actually quoted me, but didn't bother to read what I said.  

Come on, youse guys!
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Perd Hapley

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #29 on: September 26, 2005, 01:40:26 PM »
Zundfolge, Silver Bullet, y'all got me confused.  

Interstate what?

What are them crazy initials?
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Silver Bullet

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #30 on: September 26, 2005, 01:52:26 PM »
I got your joke, I was just going along with it and diverting it down an even sillier path.

My lame FHTS gag was a response to Griz' comments.  The letters mean the same thing they do in SHTF.  The B in BHTS is for bullets.
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280plus

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #31 on: September 26, 2005, 03:19:58 PM »
Reminds me of a joke rolleyes...

This guy is in a bar and has to do a doo doo (keeping it clean). So he asks the bartender where he might go to do this and the bartender tells him how to get to the Men's room, "Go up the stairs head down the corridor and it's the third door on the left. BUT, I don't care how bad you have to go DO NOT go down the hole you'll see in the floor halfway down the corridor. This is VERY important!" So the guy says OK and takes off up the stairs and lo and behold forgets the directions and can't find the right door. Now this is becoming an emergency so he whips down his drawers and does his business right down the aforementioned hole in the floor. He finishes up, wanders back downstairs where he is greeted by total devastation, the place is trashed, dead bodies everywhere. He hears some moaning coming from behind the bar where he finds the bartender laying in a heap on the floor, barely clinging to life. The guy asks him, "Geez, what happened here?!" The bartender looks at him and says, WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!? Where were YOU when the SHTF?!?!

Then there's THIS one...

A guy walks into a bar New Years Day and says to the bartender, "Man, that was a helluva party last night, about the only thing I remember is taking a dump in a golden toilet!" The bartender yells out,"HEY HARRY!! I FOUND OUT WHO CRAPPED IN YOUR TUBA LAST NIGHT!!!"

Nyuk nyuk nyuk...

Tongue

Oh OK, one more Cheesy

Guy walks into a resort in Texas, this is his first trip to the state so he bellys up to the bar and asks for a beer. The bartender brings him a beer in a glass so big it must hold at least a gallon. The guy says, "How come this beer is so big?" The Bartender says,"You're in Texas now, everthing is bigger in Texas." So he orders up a steak and soon out comes the biggest steak he's ever seen. Again he asks the bartender, "How come this steak is so BIG!?" The bartender answers, "I told you, you're in Texas now, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas." So he finishes his meal and true to life he now has to answer the call of nature. He gets directions to the Men's room from the bartender but on his way he takes a wrong turn and falls right ino the pool. He starts yelling, "PLEASE!!!  DON'T FLUSH IT!!! PLEEEEAAAAASE!!! DON'T FLUSH IT!!!

Shocked

Lord, I apologize for them ones right thur...
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Silver Bullet

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #32 on: September 26, 2005, 04:34:18 PM »
I like #1 and #3.  

That business about the steaks in Texas is no joke.  The last time I was in El Paso, I went into Cattlemen's Restaurant and they offered a 72-ounce steak.
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280plus

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #33 on: September 26, 2005, 04:41:29 PM »
Quote
offered a 72-ounce steak
72 OZ?!? I could feed the family for a week on that!


Yea #2 is a little rougher than 1 and 3, I was working a theme...

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Antibubba

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #34 on: September 26, 2005, 10:03:51 PM »
And what makes you think my response wasn't as funny as your post?
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client32

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #35 on: September 27, 2005, 03:18:56 AM »
Quote
72 OZ?!? I could feed the family for a week on that!
Amarillo has a place that will give you a free one, but only if you eat all of it.  I don't know what the price of it is if you don't get it down.
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Perd Hapley

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #36 on: September 27, 2005, 03:52:19 AM »
Antibubba; nice try.
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duck hunt

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #37 on: September 27, 2005, 05:56:06 AM »
Quote
And what makes you think my response wasn't as funny as your post?
Because child rape is always comedy gold.
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Jamisjockey

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #38 on: September 27, 2005, 06:29:40 AM »
Quote from: fistful
Quote
Good case for an irony smiley.
I need a speechless emoticon.  I couldn't believe the responses I got.  I figured I'd get half-a-dozen responses to my stupid joke, plus a couple of misunderstandings.  

It looks like some just responded to the title, without reading my post.  That is silly, but understandable.  What really cracks me up the responses from Antibubba and JamisJockey, one of whom actually quoted me, but didn't bother to read what I said.  

Come on, youse guys!
Hey, I've got a two year old and a two week old.  I'm running on an average 5 hours interrupted sleep.  My sense of humor has deteroriated, as well as my ability to pick up on subtle jokes.
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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #39 on: September 27, 2005, 07:08:47 AM »
Jamis, you get a pass.  I have a ten week old, and I probably wouldn't have gotten it eight weeks ago.
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Antibubba

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #40 on: September 28, 2005, 08:46:46 AM »
Duck Hunt,

    Read it again.  The emphasis is on tarp, not on child rape.
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duck hunt

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #41 on: September 28, 2005, 11:45:39 AM »
So the mention of child rape was gratuitous, then?
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Antibubba

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #42 on: September 28, 2005, 10:07:14 PM »
Exactly.  I could have substituted "Extracting Granny's gold teeth with a pair of pliers", or "Having fifteen items in a 10-item express lane", or "Tying you up and forcing you to watch Steven Segal's acting".

Any horrific act would fit.
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280plus

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #43 on: September 29, 2005, 01:33:04 AM »
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Tying you up and forcing you to watch Steven Segal's acting".
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

shocked
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Silver Bullet

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #44 on: September 29, 2005, 03:02:01 AM »
How about having your boat break down for an hour on Disney's "It's a Small World" ride ?

That actually happened to me on Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean ride".  I kept thinking, it could be worse ...
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Chris

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #45 on: September 29, 2005, 09:05:59 AM »
fistful,

amazingly, even this late in the thread, so many have not caught on.

Personally, if I've got those kind of bird or monkey problems, I'm going to evacuate.

Smiley

Chris
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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #46 on: September 30, 2005, 06:31:05 AM »
Your weapons are useless!  The poncho, the tarp- all modern inventions designed to mitigate the fecal impact, with little success. The secrets of the ancients are needed for this dreaded SHTF scenario--(also known to sailors) STAND UPWIND!
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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #47 on: September 30, 2005, 06:33:45 AM »
Quote
How about having your boat break down for an hour on Disney's "It's a Small World" ride ?

That actually happened to me on Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean ride".  I kept thinking, it could be worse ...
It happened to us in the devil room of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.  It was a tiny taste of the afterlife.
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Silver Bullet

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Why do people want guns for when the SHTF?
« Reply #48 on: September 30, 2005, 06:39:51 AM »
I was thinking that Disney should provide cyanide pills with the Small World boats so that if the ride broke down you would have options.
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