Author Topic: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer  (Read 4075 times)

roo_ster

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Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« on: September 24, 2008, 06:52:53 AM »
This is a new one to me.

If this is upheld and noxious bodily odors can be considered battery, can I press charges on stinky hippies?



http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/29653059.html

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- As if getting a DUI wasnt enough, a man arrested for driving under the influence got in a lot more trouble at the police station.

Police stopped Jose Cruz on Route 60 in South Charleston Monday night for driving with his headlights off.

Then, he failed sobriety tests and was arrested.

When police were trying to get fingerprints, police say Cruz moved closer to the officer and passed gas on him. The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong.

Cruz is now charged with battery on a police officer, as well as DUI and obstruction.
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roo_ster

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Manedwolf

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2008, 06:55:02 AM »
About a year ago, a lady was charged with making faces at a police dog.

Nothing of this sort surprises me.

griz

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2008, 07:09:24 AM »
It would be interesting to call the same police department in Charelston and report that someone assulted you, then explain it was a chemical attack.  I think they would be upset that you were wasting their time.
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HankB

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2008, 07:20:01 AM »
At work, we have to fill out annual hazard review forms. One guy in the lab listed "flatulent colleagues" as his primary hazard.

Human Resources was not amused. (I think someone had to look up "flatulent.")

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Racehorse

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2008, 09:06:44 AM »
Oh man, if that's a crime, then I'm probably going to spend the rest of my life in jail. My wife would have no trouble building a very solid domestic battery case based on flatulence. Mine are just plain wicked. There are too many witnesses for any hope of a reasonable doubt.

280plus

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2008, 10:34:23 AM »
What was the charge, assault with a deadly butthole?  laugh
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The Annoyed Man

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2008, 10:35:13 AM »
Why can't I get cases like this in my courtroom?  Why?   laugh

41magsnub

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #7 on: September 24, 2008, 11:30:10 AM »
How would you explain this one while sitting on the Group W bench?

Sergeant Bob

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #8 on: September 24, 2008, 02:40:11 PM »
How would you explain this one while sitting on the Group W bench?

Just tell everyone you were also cited for creating a public nuisance. cool
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learn2shoot

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2008, 04:26:28 AM »
How would you explain this one while sitting on the Group W bench?

Just tell everyone you were also cited for creating a public nuisance. cool


Would never work... can't take 27 8x10 glossy photos of a fart.   WHERE would you put the arrows?

Tuco

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2008, 06:27:47 AM »
It would be interesting to call the same police department in Charelston and report that someone assulted you, then explain it was a chemical attack.  I think they would be upset that you were wasting their time.

That's because I am a pleeb, not worthy of the respect due to an officer of the law.
 rolleyes

on the other hand, I remember the first time I witnessed such an attack.   Horrendous, it was.


 
In the college dormatory bathrooms, standing at the line of sinks, the victim, 20 yrs old, shaving, with only a worn, institutional issue white towel wrapped around his midsection. 
Another similarly-clad male student of aproximately the same age, after a meal of uncertain origin, pressed his glutes firmly against the glutes of the shaver, pinning the shaver between the sink and the assailant and opened fire.

BRRRRRPTTT.

Much running and screaming ensued.  I'm still laughing 25 yrs later.



Oh, by the way, that reminds me... you can set farts on fire.  Best done while wearing denim or heavier trousers.
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White Horseradish

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2008, 06:53:33 AM »
So, did he use a high capacity assault intestine? shocked
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wmenorr67

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2008, 07:04:11 AM »
Quote
pressed his glutes firmly against the glutes of the shaver

That is so gay.
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280plus

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #13 on: September 25, 2008, 07:20:39 AM »
Quote
pressed his glutes firmly against the glutes of the shaver

That is so gay.
yea, a little too gay for me too.  laugh
Avoid cliches like the plague!

Tuco

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #14 on: September 25, 2008, 08:11:45 AM »
Quote
pressed his glutes firmly against the glutes of the shaver

That is so gay.
yea, a little too gay for me too.  laugh

That's EXACTLY what I thought, too. 

But the personality of the assailant, the unbridled hilarity, and the presence of an audience negated any implied gayness.
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gregormeister

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #15 on: September 25, 2008, 08:21:37 AM »
 :police:Wow...If you had seen this cop show that was on the other day, you would have puked..This cop tazed a guy for asking why they arrested and tazed his brother!!Now granted they did ask him to leave 3 or 4 times but if you had seen the sadistic look on johnny laws face...taze happy. Atleast he wasn't tazed for farting!

280plus

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #16 on: September 25, 2008, 08:35:26 AM »
He might have exploded!  shocked

Did anyone catch that episode where the dude caught on fire when they tazed him? Some forensic investigation show that makes you laugh cause it's so stupid.
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zxcvbob

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #17 on: September 25, 2008, 08:23:07 PM »
How would you explain this one while sitting on the Group W bench?

Just tell everyone you were also cited for creating a public nuisance. cool


Would never work... can't take 27 8x10 glossy photos of a fart.   WHERE would you put the arrows?

On the back of each one (with the circles, and the paragraph.)
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The Annoyed Man

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #18 on: September 26, 2008, 04:04:15 AM »
Hey, an update.  On the Bob and Tom show this morning, they reported that the prosecutor's filed a Motion to Dismiss the Battery charges, and the magistrate signed it while laughing.  See, sometimes the system does work... cheesy

Tuco

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #19 on: September 26, 2008, 05:43:39 AM »
I guess it was just a lot of hot air, seeing how nothing stuck......
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roo_ster

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Re: Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer
« Reply #20 on: September 26, 2008, 07:22:51 AM »
Well, it came out well in the end.
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roo_ster

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.”
----G.K. Chesterton