This time of year - for or against it?

[Guest]

Yes I was reminded three times today of the fact I am a product of my era, and I reflect certain attitudes about my era.  "Curmudgeon"  "Relic"  and other terms were used to describe me as well. Granted the person saying this to me was " I are one too".  

I was a kid once, I remember the Holiday season, even though I was raised in an environment that depended on the Holidays for the big revenue for the year sales. I still was able to enjoy them. I admit in later years I went from  hating to detesting the Holidays. I have my reasons and I own these too.

I was raised Baptist, I apprenticed under Orthodox Jews. I was around Catholics and all sorts of Religions and Cultures.  During September many times we were closed due to Jewish Observances.  Preparartions were made and each celebration has its own time. Same for other Religions I was learning about. Life stuff.

We "used to" have Halloween. For some weeks Halloween Stuff was displayed, and advertised. We did Halloween stuff in school, Halloween had its own time to be a Holiday.  

Then Turkey Day had its time.  Somewhere it must be written you have to 1) get a new tablecloth or 2) iron that Turkey day one. Never made sense to me, we always wrinkled it pretty good, and being ironed it did not repel cranberrry sauce or gravy...Still Turkey Day stuff was displayed with no interference of the next Holiday.

Tradition was the Parades in town, decorations in town, and the Rival HS Football Game my Alma Mater had for 30+ years. This was a BIG HS game, folks from other Schools came to see this one. That is now gone.

The store owners often snuck in Turkey Day night, or really really early the day after.  Tradition again was -

25th of Dec shopping did not start until the day after Turkey Day. The two busiest sales days were these two. We didn't see any 25th of Dec stuff until then. No decorations on street poles, no wrapping paper, no toys, no nothing.  Stuff just 'magically' appeared the day after Turkey Day.

--

Just thinking out loud, reflecting. Went to the store right before Halloween and that area was all scrunched up to make room for the 25th of Dec, didn't see any mention of Turkey Day.

Times were simpler once upon a time. Folks were Thankful and Grateful all thru the year. Made no nevermind if someone belonged to a particular Religion , or not.  Folks just everyday were appreciative, didn't need a special day to make 'em act a certain way.

Things were not so commerialized, focus was not on quanity - but quality.   Even folks not real close to familes , were able to particpate in their own way with friends, neighbors or co- workers.

Folks were real.

Kids, well kids are kids and even they knew the quality meant more than quanity.  

I mean a bag of nuts, fruits and such was just as big a deal to a kid as a toy.  Getting your own nutcracker was kinda of special rite of passage.  Perhaps to keep from losing the wire pliers...still a rite of passage.

Books were always good too.

I dunno, about that time of year I hide in the background and stay out of the way.Come  Jan 2 it is safe after the drunks sober up and the folks in a hurry going nowhere are all staying in - cringing at the site of the mailperson to bring bills - for me to be more visible.

Still think the old days were better tho'.


Steve

[garrettwc]

I'm a member of the curmudgeon club too Steve. I came from a small town where Christmas didn't start until a week or so after Turkey day. It was signalled by the arrival of fresh Christmas trees at the Lions club lot. But things really got busy when the little red building appeared downtown complete with jolly fat man and elves.

Unfortunately, Mayberry is gone. It was bulldozed over to put in a Wal-Mart. :/

[Guest]

I like the holidays, not so much the weather though. I have to say that it balances out nicely, i just really hate that long stretch where there is no end in sight for the miserable weather and no holidays make it seem worthwhile.

[charby]

Steve you're right the holidays are not the same as they used to be. Not that the shine was lost when I grew up from a child to an adult, but how commercialized it all has become. I saw my first Christmas commerical this morning for MasterCard. I might spend my Christmas Day hunting raindeer, I mean whitetails.

Some of the things I miss the most is going to Grandma's for Christmas, even during college and short few years afterwards, Grandma is in a nursing home now so we usually meet at another relatives for Christmas. I miss being with my parents on Christmas, but we live 8 hour drive apart now and with everyone's work schedules and weather its hard to get together.

[grampster]

I saw a plastic Santa and some lights strung up in a yard the other day.  Yeesh.
Our family is not very large and we see each other frequently, so the holidays hold no special place, other than an excuse to spend money and eat too much.  I feel badly that I feel this way.  

SWMBO is still geeked about holidays.  She loves buying gifts and wrapping them in special ways.  She puts a lot of thought into all of that.  She knows I'm somewhat of a grumpy non involved party and sneers at me from time to time.

I agree with Steve, in that the times have seemingly changed so much.  There is so much anger today; and division; and attempts to control.  Everywhere you look, a certain segment of our society is crowing about more bad news.  We are constantly being reminded by these folks that everybody hates us, we use up all the worlds resources, were mean and nasty, we torture people and are, gasp, arrogant and selfish.  We trample the earth, burn its coal and rape its oil, murder its animals, befoul its waters, sully its air etc.

Even during the depths of WWII when we were losing our dads, brothers, uncles, cousins, neighbors in droves, had a good reason for being down, we seemed to have a unity of spirit that allowed us to still have something that made for the savoring of our daily lives and the changes in the seasons.

I think part of the problem today is that those who have the bully pulpit are working overtime to portray us as a fractured society that is the demon of the world.  Would that God grant that we somehow pull ourselves from this malaise.

Not a day goes by when some group dreams up another law that controls us even more.  Now the MADD group wants cars made that one has to blow into every half hour or so to detect alcohol.  Maybe the day is coming when we all just cower in our homes.  

Sorry for the rant.  Some family issues with an adult son have driven me to distraction and I needed to vent.

[K Frame]

On another board I'm on someone was complaining about the house across the street where the owner had BOTH Halloween and Christmas decorations up.

Apparently a plastic Santa was positioned right next to a plastic witch. Both were motion sensor activated, so when someone would walk by they would be greeted with HO HO HO! and cackling laughter...



"Even during the depths of WWII when we were losing our dads, brothers, uncles, cousins, neighbors in droves, had a good reason for being down, we seemed to have a unity of spirit that allowed us to still have something that made for the savoring of our daily lives and the changes in the seasons."


There's actually a very excellent reason for that -- the holidays gave people a way to focus on a traditional value in their lives. It was an island of sanity in what at that time was a completely insane world.  At times such as those traditions like holiday celebrations fulfill an absolutely vital role.

Another example of this is baseball. During both World War I and World War II propositions were floated to cancel baseball for the duration of the war emergency.

People went NUTS. They needed those traditional anchors in their lives.

[mtnbkr]

SWMBO is still geeked about holidays.  She loves buying gifts and wrapping them in special ways.  She puts a lot of thought into all of that.  She knows I'm somewhat of a grumpy non involved party and sneers at me from time to time.

Yours too, eh?

Chris

[Guest]

I appreciate the replies, I expected some to disagree and tell me I was a grumpy old fart living in the past.  What I am reading is folks do remember a more grateful people and appreciation of value and ethics.

In my first marriage, the MIL had some folks from USSR here in the States during the holidays.  I was volunteered to smoke a Turkey , and make the Dressing.  Good grief ! Where my MIL found a 31# Turkey is beyond me! My smoker was like " I'm not sure that thing is gonna fit bub!.  I would not want to meet a 31# Turkey in a dark alley for sure..."grunt" them things are heavy!

These folks from the USSR were so appreciative.  I even had a neighbor with a Herb Garden, I used fresh Sage. I had folks from the USSR with little drawstring cloth bags taking whiffs of fresh Sage - it was funny.  I had one lady, ask to carve the Turkey. Another wanted to cut the cranberry sauce, and then the argument "Jellied or Non-Jellied Cranberry sauce erupted. LOL    Oh the lady carving the Turkey, "You Americans like big breasts on Turkey too! Not sure what was said in Russian, but it must have been funny!  These folks liked the Traditional American Turkey Day.  "We eat lots and fight over chairs to sleep in afterwards - correct?"  Yeah that about sums it up.  Oh and Black Russian Tea is really great with Sweet Potato Pie.  

My Second Marriage, well we had just moved into a new house built. I mean just the day before. Sent her boy to his Dad's for Tradtional Dinner with Grandparents.  The new house smells were kinda strong, and he really wanted to wake up at Grandparents on T day. Allowed Mom and I to get stuff put up.

Mom and I spent the night with no Curtains.  Come daylight...run into bathroom to get dressed.  I hung blinds on T-day. She fixed a baking hen, and some small side dishes. I was just the two us, We laughed about how the battery packs on the kitchen counter and the blinds on two chairs added ambience to the occasison. LOL

Now we blew the boy's mind for 25th of Dec.  NO Turkey, NO Ham. "Mom, what do you mean we are having somethng different? You can do that?"

We  bought the Biggest Porterhouse Steaks from a local butcher. We had these HUGE potatoes. So I fired up the Charocal grill and cooked steaks. We had a HUGE pot of Chili, Bananna Pudding and Cheescakes. Mom and I got carried away on making the salad, kept having to get bigger containers to fix it in.
Boy was the Dog happy..."the new dog toys are neat - but them Porterhouse bones are Neater!"   Yes We even gave the dog his own Steak, and potato. He was out back having a good time!  

Went to her parents and brought them their Steaks, Potatoes, and my FIL stole a whole cheescake for himself...then his wife waved the rolling pin and shared it with her.

Always done this breaking of Traditions with food.  Lasagne, BBQ Ribs, Steak, Cornish Hens deep fried, Catfish Steaks, Elk Roast, Fried Quail...

It is the people, the memories, and the fun stuff - nobody says you cannot make your own Traditions.

In later years and on my own, and not choosing to be a doormat with folks with same last name, I ususally volunteer to work holidays.  It is very relaxing to not be caught up in the negatives brought on by more modern attitudes.  I eat what I want, when I want it. I can read a book, listen to music, maybe even venture out to see a movie or rent one.   I recall a few years ago leaving a 12 hour shift that went to 16 hours. Some of found a Waffle House open, had Chili Cheesburgers at 0730, and cranked up the JukeBox with Rock & Roll.  We had a good time with the Waffle House Folks..."you folks are so much fun - ya'll need to come back and do this again".

Should have seen the look on the LEOs that came in. They had had a hard night too. 'Ya know at first we thought you folks had been drinking...we now understand like us you do a hard job and one has to retain sanity - we are off duty - Two more Chili Cheesburgers, and find some Rolling Stones on that Juke will ya?"

Sometimes you gotta break the rules and make your own Holiday.

[K Frame]

"I appreciate the replies, I expected some to disagree and tell me I was a grumpy old fart living in the past."

Yeah, well, that's a given.

[Brian Williams]

From another GOF, thanks.
Celebrate when and where you can for whatever, that makes memories.

[garrettwc]

Sometimes you gotta break the rules and make your own Holiday.

That's what makes it a holiday. No preconcieved marketing packaged stuff. Just do it from the heart. The rest will take care of itself.

[K Frame]

The other Sunday I celebrated my annual Irwinoween.

I sat around the house in my boxers drinking beer and praying to the football Gods that my Eagles would beat Denver.

The Gods were not pleased with my sacrifice...

[charby]

The other Sunday I celebrated my annual Irwinoween.

I sat around the house in my boxers drinking beer and praying to the football Gods that my Eagles would beat Denver.

The Gods were not pleased with my sacrifice...

Okay I was going to eat lunch, but I sort of lost my appetite.



Charby

[grampster]

sm = GGOF   (Garrulous Grumpy Old Fart)  

Charby  +1  

[K Frame]

Goodone, Charby.

Only I didn't have a plunger.

I had a corn dog...

[Azrael256]

It is the people, the memories, and the fun stuff - nobody says you cannot make your own Traditions.

No kidding.  Last year, my sister came over and made some sort of fruit salad thing while mom baked the turkey.  Stepdad took care of the potatoes, and I made sure the *ahem* beverages were served.  I attended dinner in my bathrobe.  For some odd reason, dad always had us dress up for thanksgiving.  I mean come in from building fence around 1330, shower, and put on fancy clothes to eat dinner on TV trays in the living room while watching the Cowboys get beat.  This made very little sense to me.  So last year, we sat around in whatever we had on, ate at the table like civilised people, and had this really novel thing called conversation.

I also have a special loathing for these "gift giving holidays."  I don't really consider it a gift if I feel obligated to buy it, so I just don't participate.  If I see something that I think someone might like, I'll buy it and give it to them, and I really don't care what the calendar says.

[K Frame]

"we sat around in whatever we had on, ate at the table like civilised people, and had this really novel thing called conversation."

In my family the after-dinner conversations can go on for literally hours.

[Guest]

I totally blew the mind of my stepson at the time...

We all had the day off, and for no reason , out of the clear blue, we got in her car and took off. His mom knew how spontaneous I could be.  We pulled over at a Mom&Pop Gas station and grabbed a load of bread, chips, sliced meat , juice, coffee and had a picnic for breakfast.  Kid just knows I have gone bonkers.

We find a roadside flea market. He forgot his money, well it was a "toss some clothes on and last one to the car is a  rotten egg..." Anywho we piddled, I pointed out how his mom had found some inexpensive dealie she liked and she did have a way with decorating. He bought the dealie for her.  We just bought each other stuff for no reason...just piddlin'.

Now the boy is getting into this 'spontaneous' stuff for no reason, his mom really made over his gift. We continued by doing another another picnic for lunch, and at small town park, just talking, conversation, no troubles about work, school, nothing - just fun stuff.

Now the dog was pissed we fogot to take him. So the kid and I took him to the park, and let him have treats, chase squirrels and get petted by other kids.

"Mom, was this some kind of holiday?"
'No sweetie, just us being us'
"Can we do this Spontaneous Day again...like soon and not wait until next year?"
'Yep - in fact next time - you can choose it and the activities".

By Golly if the young man did not do just that. Made Egg sandwiches one morning and yelled at us to 'get up'-  and said we were going to check out a Estate sale he heard about, and we wandered amongst the barn, sheds and finding piddley stuff to get.
HE...He even took Us out to eat Pizza Buffett at lunch with his own money!   WE just knew the kid was sick. lol

At her folks , in the country, we had fun conservations, played games, or went out back to shoot.   Now this can get a bit serious, shooting for the last piece of certain dessert.

I did not win...my target was a marble and a J frame revolver...my wife threw the marble as far as she could. Folded her arms and gave me a smug smile. 'Well - you gonna shoot or what?"
My stepson and his grandpa 'almost' won, their target was a golf ball and .22 rifle.
Wife and her mom won the dessert and split it.  They kept 'bumping' grandpa/ dad while he shot.
And...wife and her mom had a tennis ball for their target at about 10 yds.  

Stepson said his mom and grandma 'cheated' [ laughing as he said so] Grandma waved that carving knife , denied any such thing and one more such comment and he was going to clean up the kitchen.

Amazing what threats , and a carving knife will do to get a grandson to shut up and brown nose.

'Gee grandma, you really are a great rifle shot...'.

I just reminded the brat I had the car keys and it was long walk home.  Bribery is good.

Her Dad later glued the puzzle we did and framed it.  So naturally we started doing puzzles at get togethers for no special holiday reasons and he would glue and frame these...kid thought that was kinda neat. Grandpa gave him one for no special reason...you would have thought the granddad had given him a lot of money or something.  First thing his mom and I had to do was hang it when we got home with it.

Corny and dumb, but it was different and ours.

[Declaration Day]

Lots of good stories....

Now you're about to hear from a 27 year old grumpy old man.  I only like one part of one day of the holidays, and that is Christmas eve.

Starting about now, you won't see me anywhere near a shopping center.  I hate shopping, especially in crowded places, where manners are completely forgotten and I feel like cattle.  People bumping into each other, sometimes pushing, and fighting over the last "status symbol" toy that will end up on the floor two weeks after Christmas.  You won't see my TV on, unless there's a good special on Court TV or the History Channel.  Can't stand the commercials pushing material junk that nobody needs, but are convinced they have to buy for somebody else for Christmas.

Anyway, we have two Christmas parties.  One is on Christmas Day, and it takes place at my cousin's house.  This is the wealthier half of my family, where the smiles are fake, the BS is thick and everyone dresses in $500+ outfits because, god forbid, anyone think you aren't well-to-do.  Talk includes anything but family and memories, usually investments and fancy vacations.  After meaningless conversation and dozens of snooty drinks, the spoiled rotten kids tear into their many gifts, never once reading the cards or saying thank you.

Then there's the party that happens the night before, at my Aunt's very modest home.  Not a big place, no fancy dishes or gold plated flatware.  But oh, the food......my uncle is a gourmet chef, when he's not putting in long hours at the power plant.  Here we can relax, talk about the good old days and our loved ones who aren't with us anymore, ever thankful for the ones who are.  Drinks are usually Budweiser and Jack Daniels, somehow it doesn't matter how little they cost.  We show up in jeans and T-shirts, because here we don't worry so much about appearances.  There are fewer gifts, but they are chosen from the heart, not picked from a TV commercial.

 Hopefully in twenty years, we'll gather at the same little house and reminisce about these new good old days.

[Larry Ashcraft]

Our most memorable Thanksgivings were spent in Kentucky when our daughter and son-in-law were there (this was pre-Sadie ).  They didn't have a kitchen table so we would sit on the floor around the coffee table and have our turkey dinner, after having toured Nashville and gone to the winery in Tennessee (can't remember the name of it).

Non-traditional holiday dinners:  My dad doesn't care for turkey, so they usually have a big ol' prime rib for Christmas.

We love to have company, so the holidays aren't a lot different than any other time of year.  I always enjoy having the kids and grandkids around.  We've been known to cram 30+ people into our little house, and in the summer we've had as many as 80 guests at one party.

[Gewehr98]

Something in this Grumpy Old Fart's neighborhood has me thinking the holidays are more of a marketing scheme, and less of a family thing, too.  Kinda depressing, actually, and I went so far as to tell my wife this year I'd feel better if we just didn't do anything.  She'll still ignore me, and that's good for our stepsons, but I can see why the suicide rates peak during that time of year.

[Moondoggie]

I love this time of year.  Especially when our high temps are in the upper 70's in Nov in Nebraska!

I really enjoy the clear skies, and the landscapes after harvest...the promise of nature's bounty fulfilled.

Chock full of my favorite holidays, too.  Halloween (major event when I was a kid), the Marine Corps Birthday (10 Nov), MY birthday (19 Nov) and then the trio of family feasts.  When I was young we had major family events for every holiday with relatives...beaucoup cousins and aunts/uncles that I really liked.  We rotated the dinner thing from house to house, all coordinated by my Mom and her sisters.

Nowadays the big family thing is long gone, and gift giving at holidays for my wife and I are non-events...we have everything we want, but I still have the happy memories.  She and I still cook a great turkey dinner with all of the acroutrements and we love the leftovers.

[grampster]

I just love Turkey Day with all the timmings at Aunt Bonnie's house.  Oh boy Oh boy Oh boy.  The I get to sleep as the Detroit Liedowns get their a..er, hat handed to them by the team from the Welcome Home For the Blind and Lame.

PS  Ditto what Moondoggie said about 60 and 70's in November.  Only its in Michigan and not Nebrasky, and we have had sun, too.  Usually Sol takes a timeout around here in Sept to not show up again till late June.  Looks like Bambi dies on a warm day this year.

[Sindawe]

I'm not a big fan of "The Holidays" after all the "fun" I went through with the family and then in-laws during the dawn of my "Crazy Years" 15 years ago.  It always felt so forced and contrived, and its continued to be so except for to occasional company christmas party where I can freak out the coworkers by showing up groomed and dressed to the nines after a year of steel toed boots,  grubby camo BDUs and Metallica tees.

Since then, I've not really celebrated any of the Holidays aside from the obligatory calls to the family in Florida for 20 minutes.  Gifts were done online after several months of notations during weekly phone calls picking up on desires and the like.

It hit me last week though, that since the family is now HERE in Colorado, I'm gonna have to interact with 'em face to face this year.

Maybe I'll move to Florida....

[Strings]

>I expected some to disagree and tell me I was a grumpy old fart<

Did you also expect us to tell you that water is wet, and elephants heavy?

heh... Xmas was always lasagna for us (mom being Italian and all). And I'm not talkin' some wimpy lil' casserole pan: mom filled several turkey roasting pans with Italian goodness...

 Thankfully, Spoon learned to make it before mom passed...

 We haven't paid much attention to "Standard Christmas" in ages. While mom was still around, Eve would be at one house and Day would be at the other (my parents and inlaws), all as one big family. Presents weren't important, except in that they provided ammo for the wrapping-paper fight that would ensue...

 This year (as last year, and the year before), we'll probably do the Eve thing with the in-laws (might even be able to supprise my MIL with a revolver, her first real gun), then do absolutely nothing for Day (hmmm... maybe lay around in bed, watch movies, and surf). Y'all can keep the over-commercialized Xmas, and I'll savor my memories of Christmas...


 And yes, I too remember Halloween as being it's own holiday, subtitled "Kids Run Rampant Night". Ahh, the memories...