R.I.P. Scout26
http://www.etsy.com might be worth a shot. It's like eBay but only for hand/homemade stuff; rates are a bit lower as well.
Fill them full of tannerite and shoot them with your favorite centerfire rifle. (at a safe distance of course)
With a little creative computer work you could create a Certificate. Then list them on eBay as an official "Domestic Partners" bear set, and set a starting price of $500. Can your wife sew little rainbow patches on their sleeves? However, I'd buy a T-shirt with your avatar on it!