Raised a Catholic, altar boy, Catholic elementary school, would have gone to Catholic High School, but they started charging $25.00 a year tuition in '57 so I couldn't afford to go. Got married in the church. After the kids started coming, began to wonder if my donations were more important than their souls. I had to bitch to the bishop to get my son baptized in a parish other than my own. The reason; we weren't dues paying members of that parish. That was odd because I thought catholic meant universal.
Started to send the kids to bible school and found out all that was going on there was they were coloring and playing games. Hmmm
About this time, I began being a bonehead and my marriage was threatened as a result. Went to talk to the priest that had been borrowing our corvette on weekends. He was a friend, right? Well as soon as I began wondering if I was having some sort of spiritiual meltdown, he stopped coming around and even began avoiding me. Hmmmm.
Had a long talk with God one night when I was seriously considering suicide. He made it clear that was not an option. Started a spiritual quest that continues to this day (25 years or so). Checked out Mormonism, some oriental stuff and finally started to actually read the Bible. Had a conversation with another priest, a charismatic priest; they spoke in tongues at his Masses. I was confiding that I thought I was finally starting to "get it" and was wondering about being baptized as an adult. I felt I needed to do this as an adult as I felt I needed to humble myself in front of people who knew me and some who didn't, just to declare myself. He basically threw me out of his office. Said I was an Anabaptist. Evidently he didn't think G-d loved me enough to consider my reasoning. Hmmmmm.
Became a born again Christian about 20 years ago as a result. It is amazing how much one's life opens up and resiliancy is gained along with an understanding that the world does not revolve around me. Really, it doesn't. I discovered that giving really is better than getting and that the more one gives and trusts, the more one is able to see the richness of whatever life provides, even in the midst of sorrow or disappointment or pain or loss or even in blessing. I found you could talk to G-d all of the time, in the strangest places and times. He seems to always find time to listen, even when I don't think so. I found that being a Christian was not about going to a building. It is about living your life after a fashion that causes you to smile and wonder why you never thought about things like that before. It calls you up against yourself a lot. A guy called me once to thank me for sending a bit of money every month to Youth for Christ. Wanted to invite me to a dinner. I said no, that the little bit I was doing was penance for being such an idiot and laughing at the YFC kids when I was in high school. A free dinner didn't factor into my feelings about my behavior.
Of course I remain an opinionated boring sort, as one can't do much about his genes and beliefs in what really constitutes freedom. I am involved in the rough and tumble of local politics and I just read an e mail that was sent to a group of folks outlining what a complete A**h*** I am and part of the political good ole boy network. That e mail completely confirmed my philosopy of life. "As one goes through life 10% of whoever you meet will be an A**h***. Now you can choose to live your life controlled by that 10% or realize that 90% are not. But, to stay humble, one needs to remember that you will be on someone's 10% list." Well let's just say I'm humbled. As for the good ole boys, I've been spending a lot of time being a burr under their saddles and I stand accused of being one of them. Sigh.....
Anywho, I'm a Christian who's come to understand that as the body is made up of many diverse and complicated parts, many of which do not seem to complement each other, so is the Christian world. We may not seem to complement each other but we do, at the end of the day, make the body work at the direction of the head. So, I'm not too worried about what building one bends his knee, or if it bends in a building at all, only that, it seems to me, to be important that the knee bends daily in some fashion.
I also have a great deal of respect for those who believe in other ways than I do, for it is my belief that the roadmap to G-d has many pathways, and that He has many mansions and many sheep. I think those sheep follow many roads that lead to a common Landlord. I believe Jesus can be found in various and sundry ways along various and sundry pathways. With G-d, all things are possible. I am convinced that I have the Truth of the matter and will stand or fall on that. But I believe that each person is an island and will have to decide about a matter of faith or lack of same by using whatever gift one has for that purpose all by his or her self.
I believe I hijacked this thread sufficiently long enough. My apologies to tangent/cosine.
