Author Topic: On friends, and changes...  (Read 2646 times)

RadioFreeSeaLab

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On friends, and changes...
« on: December 19, 2005, 07:48:41 AM »
Since I got into the gun and self defense culture last year, I've found
myself having less and less in common with my friends.  It's not that they
are bad people, I love them all dearly, but for the most part, they seem
to be sheep.  I don't know what they think about privately, of course, but
from discussions we've had, or not had, for that matter, they seem to give
little thought to the danger around them, and rely on the Authorities for
protection.  They are concerned with the next episode of Laguna Beach, and
the next big sale at the mall.  I have never been interested in such
things, but even less so in the past year.  I've woken up, I suppose, to
the world around me, and to the need for self-reliance.  I spent Friday
evening with them, as we've done so many Friday evening before, and it
seems that I'm becoming less and less like them.  I have less to add to
the conversations, and I care less about what they are talking about.  I
care about them as people, and I want so bad for them to wake up as I
have, and I worry about what will happen to them if San Diego ever has a
major terrorist attack, avian flu outbreak, or Katrina-scale disaster.  
I've tried to bring up guns, self-defense, and self-reliance with them,
but most are "afraid" of guns, or "hate" them.  They can't see past
tomorrow, to what might happen, and to what every American ought to be
prepared for.  They can't seem to fathom why one would want to be prepared
for the worst to happen.
Thanks for listening, just some thoughts I've had lately.  Oh, I'm 23, by
the way, and these people range from 18-26.

-Dave

Chris

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On friends, and changes...
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2005, 08:10:41 AM »
I have now categorized my relationships with people into groups:

1.  family/long-time friends
2.  work friends/acquaintances
3.  friends/acquaintances through children
4.  neighbors

It's not as if I cut off all ties to one group because they could care less about what I talk about with another group.  When I really want to talk guns/self-defense, etc., I'll call my best friend in AZ, and talk for hours.  Yeah, I can still talk work/children/etc., with him, but he's really the only one I feel I can talk with about guns, etc.

You're really young.  You'll find as you grow older, you actually disconnect with many of the friends from your youth.  Basically, you grow apart.  NOthing wrong with it.  Different paths through life lead in different directions.  Yeah, it can be sad to look back and think of what has come and gone.  Then, take stock in what you have now and see how much you have.

As an aside, see if your shooting range has any clubs or organizations.  It may give you an outlet for your desire to talk guns, etc.  And, there's always THR.

RadioFreeSeaLab

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On friends, and changes...
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2005, 08:16:53 AM »
Quote
As an aside, see if your shooting range has any clubs or organizations.  It may give you an outlet for your desire to talk guns, etc.  And, there's always THR.
Luckily I do have a group of shooters I get together with often.

Guest

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« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2005, 08:18:29 AM »
I'm making a guess here, but I think it might have more to do with your age than with gun ownership.

Buying a gun didnt make you into a different person, you were a different person in the first place, and thats why you bought a gun.

It's natural for people to grow apart. I am not in contact with *any* of the people I was friends with in Highschool. We didnt even know who we were back then, let alone who anyone else was.

RadioFreeSeaLab

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« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2005, 08:21:27 AM »
Heh, I'm not in contact with anyone from highschool either, and I've been out for six years Smiley
But you're right, it isn't because I bought a gun, it's because I'm the type of person who would buy a gun, and they aren't.

Mabs2

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« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2005, 08:40:47 AM »
I'm 19, and have been thinking like you do now for the past couple of years.
I too have been worrying in the same way about my family (don't have many friends), but at least they're not anti-gun.
I feel for ya, mang.
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SpookyPistolero

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« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2005, 09:27:51 AM »
Similar situation myself. Just ran into the brother of a good friend through high school and most of college. I haven't talked to any of them in many months.

People you can actually have a worthwhile conversation with are a rarity, saving possibly family members. When I did hang out with a lot of people, I just stopped having expectations and quit investing anything in it. They are who they are, and couldn't care less about others or whats going on around them.
"She could not have reached this white serenity except as the sum of all the colors, of all the violence she had known." - The Fountainhead
"Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world"  - Irish Proverb

garrettwc

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« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2005, 11:35:15 AM »
Quote
I've woken up, I suppose, to the world around me, and to the need for self-reliance.
You've also done some growing up it sounds like.

Declaration Day

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« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2005, 12:28:36 PM »
Quote from: cas700850
You're really young.  You'll find as you grow older, you actually disconnect with many of the friends from your youth.  Basically, you grow apart.  NOthing wrong with it.  Different paths through life lead in different directions.
This is so very true.   I talk to two of my high school buddies regularly, and maybe two or three more of them once a year.   (I was a huge party animal in high school, and had many friends and dozens of acquaintances.)

Much of the reason for this is that I have my own life now, my own family, house and business.  It leaves little time for friends.

Another big reason is that I no longer party or drink, which is the only thing I had in common with 99% of those people.

I'm 28, and I am happy with my little circle of friends.  I am cautious about who I associate with now, because (by my standards) most people live recklessly.

50 Shooter

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« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2005, 01:59:09 PM »
Dasmi,
I know we live a not so short distance apart but if you ever want to travel a little ways north, you're always welcome to come shoot with us. Most of the guys like to talk all things guns and everything that goes with them. At 38 I think I'm towards the lower end of the age group, diverse group of guys and wives that come out.

Have to agree with what most others have said, I only know one person from school and that's because we've always been best friends. Even some friends you make after school tend to drift away because of work, school or whatever. Funny thing is, I actually have met better people since I got into .50's. The guys I shoot with are some great people, we have a couple goofs but they're still a good bunch.

If you ever want to drive a couple hours north and shoot a .50 or just go shooting/shooting the $h!t let me know. ar50shooter@hotmail.com We do a couple desert shoots a year if you want to come out. You've probably seen a few pics that I've posted on THR.

Mabs2

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« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2005, 02:02:48 PM »
Agreed, I can't believe how much people focus on going out, grinding their bodies up against eachother, and getting so drunk they can barely breath.

It's stupid, imo.
Quote from: jamisjockey
Sunday it felt a little better, but it was quite irritated from me rubbing it.
Quote from: Mike Irwin
If you watch any of the really early episodes of the Porter Waggoner show she was in (1967) it's very clear that he was well endowed.
Quote from: Ben
Just wanted to give a forum thumbs up to Dick.

Azrael256

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« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2005, 04:25:57 PM »
I indulged my urge to get stone drunk and dangerously out of control (ok, maybe just the first half) for half a semester.  Inexplicably, I pulled off a 3.9 that semester.  

Anyway, the point is that I learned something important.  Getting drunk gives you a bad headache and gets you pregnant.  Being about as attractive as homemade soap I don't worry so much about the pregnant part, but I'm told that even I look attractive after a quart or so of rye.  That, and yuppie idiots like homemade soap.  Seriously.  They go for that whole "handmade by an Indian" BS. (I have a friend who's a Mescalero Apache.  We could make some money together.)

I picked my friends because they have a mindset and personality similar to my own.  Dionysusigma probably takes that one as an insult, and with good cause, but he's ready with a gun, a knife, a bandage, and a toolbox whenever something happens.  I don't tend to associate with idiots for more than a few minutes a week.  They're bloody dangerous.

Parker Dean

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« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2005, 05:28:24 PM »
Quote from: Azrael256
That, and yuppie idiots like homemade soap.  Seriously.  They go for that whole "handmade by an Indian" BS. (I have a friend who's a Mescalero Apache.  We could make some money together.)
So that bit on South Park about Cherokee Hair...umm...errr.... products wasn't completely made up.

Guest

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« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2005, 05:36:44 PM »
Quote from: Parker Dean
Quote from: Azrael256
That, and yuppie idiots like homemade soap.  Seriously.  They go for that whole "handmade by an Indian" BS. (I have a friend who's a Mescalero Apache.  We could make some money together.)
So that bit on South Park about Cherokee Hair...umm...errr.... products wasn't completely made up.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that IMMEDIATLY thought of that.

Strings

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« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2005, 06:40:55 PM »
wait a sec... did I just read that right? Did Azrael suggest that he has friends? When the heck did THAT happen? :neener:

RadioFreeSeaLab

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« Reply #15 on: December 19, 2005, 06:48:08 PM »
Quote from: c_yeager
Quote from: Parker Dean
Quote from: Azrael256
That, and yuppie idiots like homemade soap.  Seriously.  They go for that whole "handmade by an Indian" BS. (I have a friend who's a Mescalero Apache.  We could make some money together.)
So that bit on South Park about Cherokee Hair...umm...errr.... products wasn't completely made up.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that IMMEDIATLY thought of that.
Ya, me too.

Antibubba

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« Reply #16 on: December 20, 2005, 05:55:49 PM »
No offense intended, dasmi, but most people that age can barely look past today, let alone tomorrow.  When I was in those years I was such a morose twit. Undecided   And I hated guns.  You don't have to keep them as your inner circle.  Some of them might grow and mature, or even "wake up".  Stay in touch, plant seeds every so often; who knows what'll happen in ten years?  Or maybe you'll sever ties completely.

However, do try to keep a thread open, a way to get in touch with them.  I remember a friend from college, Robert, who, upon looking back on some of the conversations and attitudes he had, was probably a survivalist.  It isn't something we discussed, I don't think-but then, there would have been no way I could have understood what he was talking about, in the same way my 22 year old self wouldn't have a clue about the advice my 40 year old self gave him.  I wish I knew how to contact him. Sad  (If anyone knows a Robert Szychowicz, drop me a line)
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

Strings

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« Reply #17 on: December 20, 2005, 07:39:16 PM »
Antibubba: don't suppose he could be a Computer systems Manager at Ohio State University? That's what I got with a Google search... Wink

Ex-MA Hole

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« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2005, 07:05:00 AM »
Try to stop drinking-

THAT'S a humbling experience.  I went from 10-15 "friends" to none overnight.  I see one of them every 6 months or so, we have a cigar, at have a long akward silence.  We have nothing to say.  Most of the others never called, wrote, emailed, nothing.

It's like I just ceased to exist.

Talking about a bitch slap!!!
One day at a time.