Author Topic: Cracked.com's 5 popular Zombie survival tactics that will get you killed (Read 7748 times)

Phyphor · « **on:** September 18, 2009, 06:54:50 PM »

http://www.cracked.com/article/126_5-popular-zombie-survival-tactics-that-will-get-you-killed/

I especially liked the gun store bit.

MillCreek · « **Reply #1 on:** September 18, 2009, 07:46:22 PM »

Hilarious. Especially the part about getting out of town, and in the traffic jam, your car will seal the freshness in until the zombie can-openers arrive.

BlueStarLizzard · « **Reply #2 on:** September 18, 2009, 07:51:01 PM »

*chuckle* sunroof in your skull.

RevDisk · « **Reply #3 on:** September 18, 2009, 10:53:38 PM »

Quote from: Phyphor on September 18, 2009, 06:54:50 PM

I especially liked the gun store bit.

Whenever I hear "raid the gun/food/whatever store" from internet chairborne rangers, I always pondered "Roughly a million people probably have the same idea..."

Strings · « **Reply #4 on:** September 19, 2009, 04:05:49 AM »

There's one problem with their analysis of holing up somewhere though: zombies are dead, and decaying. IF you can provide your group with enough food & water to outlast that, you should be good.

And the thing about the gun shop is spot on...

Cromlech · « **Reply #5 on:** September 19, 2009, 04:36:37 AM »

It depends on what kind of Zombie they are. A Zombie from Resident Evil or 28 Days Later is a human with a very nast condition brought on by a virus or some such thing.

If it's a Zombie that is brought out of the grave by evil magic or what have you, then it's being held together by something more than the physical, and does not need food. Though decay could still have an effect, if it just collapses into bits LOL.

seeker_two · « **Reply #6 on:** September 19, 2009, 10:52:19 AM »

Quote from: Phyphor on September 18, 2009, 06:54:50 PM

I especially liked the gun store bit.

Agreed....the best time to raid the gun store is before the zombies attack....

CNYCacher · « **Reply #7 on:** September 19, 2009, 11:01:53 AM »

Quote from: seeker_two on September 19, 2009, 10:52:19 AM

Agreed....the best time to raid the gun store is before the zombies attack....

That's a great "Why do you have guns?" response.

S. Williamson · « **Reply #8 on:** September 19, 2009, 01:03:19 PM »

Is it really so bad to be a zombie?

Are we sure we're not just being insensitive to ambulatory, living-impaired individuals?

never_retreat · « **Reply #9 on:** September 19, 2009, 01:29:10 PM »

Quote from: Dionysusigma on September 19, 2009, 01:03:19 PM

Is it really so bad to be a zombie?

Are we sure we're not just being insensitive to ambulatory, living-impaired individuals?

They are already here just disguised like politicians, brainless life sucking zombies.

BMacklem · « **Reply #10 on:** September 19, 2009, 02:56:34 PM »

I know there are a lot of zombies, there's verifiable proof, just look at how many dead people voted for Obama.
And I'm not talking about the brain-dead alone there, I'm talking about actual in-the-grave dead.

Strings · « **Reply #11 on:** September 19, 2009, 03:03:22 PM »

hmmm... methinks we need an "Undead for Obama" tshirt for the next election cycle...

never_retreat · « **Reply #12 on:** September 19, 2009, 03:39:43 PM »

Quote from: Strings on September 19, 2009, 03:03:22 PM

hmmm... methinks we need an "Undead for Obama" tshirt for the next election cycle...

Your assuming he makes the next election cycle, This whole thing reeks more of and impeachment then Clinton ever did.
[/rant]

BMacklem · « **Reply #13 on:** September 20, 2009, 12:59:03 PM »

They're already crying "racist" whenever anyone simply disagrees with Obama, what do you think they'd scream and do if they actually had to remove him from office?

I would hate to be inside of any city if that happened, unless I lived in a very thick concrete building and had a LOT of ammo not to mention food and water stored.

Where I live now, I'm caucasian and I'm the minority, I'd hate to be home if they impeached him.

Sergeant Bob · « **Reply #14 on:** September 20, 2009, 02:47:25 PM »

Quote from: BMacklem on September 20, 2009, 12:59:03 PM

I would hate to be inside of any city if that happened, unless I lived in a very thick concrete building and had a LOT of ammo not to mention food and water stored.

Aw, don't worry about it, you could just rob a gun store...

S. Williamson · « **Reply #15 on:** September 20, 2009, 11:16:48 PM »

And aim for the head with melee weapons...

AZRedhawk44 · « **Reply #16 on:** September 20, 2009, 11:45:27 PM »

Quote

And the thing about the gun shop is spot on...

Not really....

The gun stores near my place know they don't have the ammo resources to fend off armies of the un-undead who want guns to stop from becoming undead, and they know they don't have the food to wait out a siege of un-undead.

I can't imagine a gun store owner actually protecting his shop during TEOTWAWKI when the zombies come for us. His bunker, sure. His Idaho fortress-retreat, sure.

But not his stinkin' gun store.

More than likely, some other thug-like morlocks thinking that they don't need much more food than they can snatch from the adjoining Burger King, will hole up in a gun store and monopolize the stock (even though they'd only need a couple long guns and a couple handguns per living body in the store).

MicroBalrog · « **Reply #17 on:** September 21, 2009, 06:40:24 AM »

Has nobody read "Death of Grass"?

HankB · « **Reply #18 on:** September 21, 2009, 08:31:21 AM »

Quote from: BMacklem on September 20, 2009, 12:59:03 PM

They're already crying "racist" whenever anyone simply disagrees with Obama, what do you think they'd scream and do if they actually had to remove him from office?

We'd need a comfortable majority in both the House and Senate for this to happen. (3/5? I'm too lazy to look it up, but I think it takes more than a simple majority to remove a sitting president. )

What I would like to see is for the GOP to take back control of the House . . . and make Joe Wilson Speaker!

(Unlikely - too many RINOs would rather keep Pelosi than vote for Joe "You Lie!" Wilson.)

coppertales · « **Reply #19 on:** September 21, 2009, 10:36:05 AM »

Why don't you guys.......have all the guns and ammo already, that will be needed for this uprising?

? Most of the gun stores have been out of ammo for about a year now....chris3

Silver Bullet · « **Reply #20 on:** September 21, 2009, 11:00:52 AM »

I now have laboriously acquired enough .22 to outlast the current administration.

.22 okay for zombies ?

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #21 on:** September 21, 2009, 12:29:57 PM »

Quote from: HankB on September 21, 2009, 08:31:21 AM

We'd need a comfortable majority in both the House and Senate for this to happen. (3/5? I'm too lazy to look it up, but I think it takes more than a simple majority to remove a sitting president. )

You're talking about removing Obama with a 3/5 majority? 3/5? Racist.

Headless Thompson Gunner · « **Reply #22 on:** September 21, 2009, 12:37:33 PM »

Quote from: RevDisk on September 18, 2009, 10:53:38 PM

Whenever I hear "raid the gun/food/whatever store" from internet chairborne rangers, I always pondered "Roughly a million people probably have the same idea..."

I always think of the guys who work at the gun stores. Guys who routinely open carry service pistols when they're not expecting to be attacked, well, these aren't the kind of people you want to tangle with when they know you're coming for them and theirs.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #23 on:** September 21, 2009, 01:05:26 PM »

Try to stay on topic. We're impeaching Obama now. Henceforth, all threads must be steered, somehow, into a discussion of Obama impeachment strategies. There will be no exceptions.

griz · « **Reply #24 on:** September 21, 2009, 02:24:01 PM »

From the link:

Quote

You want the biggest, shiniest, loudest monstrosity possible. If there's a gun that shoots a thousand bullets a second; that's great. If there's one that shoots a thousand flaming bullets a second; even better! If there's a gun that shoots out other guns that all fire thousands of flaming bullets in mere seconds--like some sort of pyramid scheme comprised entirely of shredding death infernos--well, that would be just dandy.

Now that's funny right there.

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Author Topic: Cracked.com's 5 popular Zombie survival tactics that will get you killed (Read 7748 times)