Author Topic: Speeding little old ladies...  (Read 1070 times)

280plus

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Speeding little old ladies...
« on: December 28, 2005, 09:50:26 AM »
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman:   Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer:   Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman:   Oh, I see.

Officer:   Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer:   Don't have one?

Older Woman:   Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer:   I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman:   I can't do that.

Officer:   Why not?

Older Woman:   I stole this car.

Officer:   Stole it?

Older Woman:   Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer:   You what?

Older Woman:   His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2:   Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman:   Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman:   Murdered the owner?

Officer 2:   Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2:   Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman:   Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2:   One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2:   Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman:   Bet he told you I was speeding, too.



MORAL:


Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
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grampster

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Speeding little old ladies...
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2005, 10:28:13 AM »
Now what do you suppose would have happened if Lawdog would have been the officer involved?  Somehow I think it would have involved armadillo's, cactus and maybe a spirit or two.
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw

280plus

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Speeding little old ladies...
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2005, 02:34:41 PM »
LOL...

actually it could probably use an armadillo or two...

Cheesy
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TarpleyG

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Speeding little old ladies...
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2005, 04:32:39 AM »
Quote from: grampster
Now what do you suppose would have happened if Lawdog would have been the officer involved?  Somehow I think it would have involved armadillo's, cactus and maybe a spirit or two.
And a really good tale of how it all went down too...

Greg

Chris

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Speeding little old ladies...
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2005, 09:52:35 AM »
But what if she had a coffee can in the trunk?  cheesy

chaim

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Speeding little old ladies...
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2005, 09:07:13 PM »
Not bad, can I borrow it?  Who do I attribute it to, is it yours or just something you picked up somewhere?
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280plus

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Speeding little old ladies...
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2005, 12:48:43 AM »
Feel free, it's just something someone sent me...
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