Anyone else see this yesterday?

[RevDisk]

http://www.army.mil/-news/2010/04/01/36658-army-looks-to-relocate-pentagon/index.html?ref=home-headline-title0?ref=home-headline-title0

Army looks to relocate Pentagon

Apr 1, 2010

By Army News Release
Pentagon moving to Kansas

Photo credit Coutesy


The proposed move will take the Pentagon from the banks of the Potomac River to northwest Kansas.

WASHINGTON (April 1, 2010) -- Top Army officials unveiled plans early today to relocate the massive Pentagon building to the western part of Kansas sometime this summer.

"This move will be a huge undertaking, but we determined it was a necessary step as we realign our force structure," said one of the Army's top generals.

"Once we started investigating the possibility of the move, we determined that it was not only critical to our efforts, but that it would be good for our employees and the environment," the general continued.

The move, which is tentatively being planned for this August, will be one of the greatest undertakings ever attempted, according to the Wilbur Q. Johnson, who is a long-time Pentagon employee and who will also oversee the move.

"The move will take place in three primary phases," said Johnson. "Initially we will use a giant crane to lift the building onto a barge in the Potomac River. From there we will float the barge down the Atlantic Coast and into the Gulf of Mexico. Then, we will sail the Pentagon up the Mississippi River to just south of St. Louis. In the final stage, we will place the building on large flat-bed trucks and drive it the rest of the way."

"We aren't announcing exactly when we are going to do this for security reasons," said Johnson, "and we aren't announcing the final location either for the same reasons."

Although the final location hasn't been announced, interstate traffic in Kansas will be affected. "Those who drive on the interstate can expect significant delays. During this move, I-70 in Kansas will be closed to all traffic," Johnson warned.

Those who work in the Pentagon will only experience minor disruptions, according to Johnson. "We have sought the advice of the Navy and determined that we can just treat the building like a big ship as we move. All of the employees will basically be expected to pack as if they were going on a two-week trip and they will then remain in the building for the duration of the move," Johnson explained.

"We will make sure that we store enough food and water for the workers on that journey," said Johnson. "Additionally, we will maintain Internet connectivity via satellite during the move and use generators and solar panels for power."

On the day the move begins, Pentagon workers will be strongly discouraged from driving to work, as they will be unable to retrieve their cars, Johnson explained. "But, we will give building workers at least 72 hours notice before the move, so they can make the appropriate plans."

Editor's Note - This is really just an April Fool's Day joke. Everything in this story is fictional, including seeking the advice of the Navy. Have a great day.

BWAHAHAHAHA!   


Though, really, they should start moving agencies (ideally including the Pentagon) out of DC area.  It's hideously expensive, commutes are nightmare, and it's not a good idea security wise to put so many eggs in one basket.

I notice the brass have been talking about this for years, but they still sign off on stuff moving to the DC area.

[Perd Hapley]

I'm suspicious of the date of this story.  I mean, just a few days ago we heard about this anti-gov. group in Michigan, and now they're moving the Pentagon?  Something tells me the brass are running scared.   

[RevDisk]

I'm suspicious of the date of this story.  I mean, just a few days ago we heard about this anti-gov. group in Michigan, and now they're moving the Pentagon?  Something tells me the brass are running scared.   

Ayep.  I hope Leatherneck doesn't get seasick.

[Perd Hapley]

Also, why would they announce this on April first?  A lot of people probably thought it was a joke, and national defense is not something to joke about! 

[bedlamite]

fistful, you still haven't read the editors note yet, have you?

[Perd Hapley]

No, I didn't see that part, but the date of the story makes more sense now.  Obviously, it was a trial balloon.  Once they got some negative reaction from the tax-payers, they just decided to pass it off as an April Fools' joke.  Typical.   

[RevDisk]

No, I didn't see that part, but the date of the story makes more sense now.  Obviously, it was a trial balloon.  Once they got some negative reaction from the tax-payers, they just decided to pass it off as an April Fools' joke.  Typical.   

Obviously it's a joke.  The Army asking the Navy for guidance?   Pffft!   Yea, right.   

[Balog]

Hey, with Don't ask Don't tell being eased, I think all the services will be looking to the Navy for expert guidance. 

[S. Williamson]

Move the building? Heh. No.

Moving the Pentagon personnel to a centralized location out in the middle of frakking nowhere?  Sound proposal.

Of course, what with ICBMs being par for the course and all, a centralized, landlocked location isn't what it used to be... but it'd certainly be an improvement. 

[Tallpine]

Kansas will never accept a Pentagram in their state 

[wmenorr67]

Kansas will never accept a Pentagram in their state 

Why not, they already allow Fred Phelps in.

[AJ Dual]

They should make the Pentagon five independent space stations that orbit in a Kepler rosette.

[Brad Johnson]

I have a bridge in Crowell, TX, I'll sell them.  Nice one, too.

Brad

[S. Williamson]

They should make the Pentagon five independent space stations that orbit in a Kepler rosette.

You mean Klemperer? 

I was thinking something more of a polar graph of sin(5x), with, of course, a little extra space to keep them from colliding with the planet.