You jest, but listen to this:
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7038111n&tag=related;photovideo0:34 to 0:38 in the video, regarding the Vandenberg launch and the Italian
SKYNET satellite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5OHjRFXnFsThis is just footage, no commentary.
The rocket plume is illuminated by the sun. the sunlight shines on it from the west to the east. As it shines down on the plume, it shows us the missile is arcing outwards to the west. If it were an aircraft coming in, the bright part of the plume would be the left side rather than the right side. The exhaust plume is BETWEEN us and the sun as it climbs, and it gets brighter as it gets higher and further out west because it's travelling faster than the Earth's rotation causes the sun to set. It gets exposed to more daylight as it goes higher and further west. An inbound aircraft would have a contrail get darker as it came in, because the western-most end of the trail would be exposed to more sunlight and be higher up. The eastern end would be lower altitude and see less sunlight to reflect to us.
A high altitude inbound aircraft would have the contrail be brighter on the south side, reflecting the sunlight. Like this pic:
(borrowed from
http://uncinus.wordpress.com/2010/11/09/4/#more-4, where they argue this recent event is a jet contrail and provide this picture as a concrete example of a jet contrail that looks like a missile at sunset)
See how this one has the "bright" side, even during sunset, towards the sun? That's because the higher altitude and greater distance makes the sun reflect off the south side of the jet contrail.
The south side of the contrail of the recent CA missile is seen as "dark" side because it is reflecting sunlight back out west.
Ergo, this was a missile.