I know where you're coming from.
I've been in similar situations, actually both sides...
I've been in jobs where I was told that I was wasting time if I stopped to breathe.
I've also been in jobs where just about anything I did was seen as a threat to either my coworkers or supervisors, or both. Thinking? God forbid you actually do that.
I've been with my current company for a little over 7 years. The first 5 years were FANTASTIC. I was seen as a problem solver, not a problem. I was given increasing responsibility. When I talked to an issue, people listened to me, up to and including the man who ran a 300-person software service and development team. My pay raises and bonuses reflected that. In 5 years I averaged nearly 12% annual raises in a company that isn't know for coming near that, and I was awarded 7 bonuses (including some very valuable stock) in that 5 year period, which my boss told me was virtually unheard of.
My next 2 years with the company (the project I was on was lost to another company in a recompete) were not quite the same. My boss, while nice, was very "hands on," and the budgets in that new group tightened up considerably. Not to mention that due to the time of year in which I moved jobs I missed out on a raise cycle. That stank.
The boss was nice, but it's not at all great to come into a new job and one of the first things you hear is "My husband is such a great writer, I wish I could have hired him to do this..." Plus, if she and I disagreed on a point of grammar or style, she would immediately be on the phone to her husband. I went 10 for 10 and 1 draw on a point that could have gone either way before I finally flat out asked her if she was ever going to tryst me and the skills and experience for which she had hired me.
That set the tone for my poor attitude for quite awhile. Then, while she was a very talented designer, she didn't appear to have a lot of confidence in her design skills, and I was FOREVER hearing "can you come here for a minute." One day I was in and out of her office SEVENTEEN times. Try getting into a writing groove when you're dealing with that all the time.
Just before Christmas I moved to a new job when the group manager eliminted me, my boss, and my coworker in a cost cutting measure. That was something of a relief, actually.
I'm in a review cycle right now, and it's going to be interesting because the company just adopted new raise guidelines (shifting raise potentials downward big time), and once again I moved right during a review cycle. At least they're going to work with my old boss to see what they can do for me money wise, which is nice.
Once again, though, I'm back to being seen as an expert in what I do and being tasked to make things happen.
It's refreshing, but in some ways it's also frustrating because right now there's not a lot to do as we both ramp up for a major CMMI assessment and we get ready to recompete the contract.
Prior to joining this company? I was in hell on earth, a military credit union where department boss was a psychopath, the pay was incredibly low, and just about every move you made was second, third, fourth, and fifth guessed by a whole series of retired admirals and generals who generally took a VERY dim view of you asserting you had any competencies at all. I don't know how I lasted 3.5 years there without having a heart attack. By the last few months there I would walk in the door and start having chest pains.
All in all, I guess what I'm saying is that you ALWAYS have choices. You can fight it, you can deal with it, or you can put it behind you and move to something better.
Good luck.
