I've made it awful clear to my boy A) how I will skin his ass if he bullies anyone and B) how he is to respond to being hit first.
Yep, same here. I tell both my kids they are to be kind even to the kids nobody is kind to. You don't have to be their best friend, but bullying, tormenting, and the like is an option that will be met with
terrible consequences at home.
This bore fruit last year when I saw my boy being standoffish to another boy in his class. Not mean, just, "I don't want to play with you" in response to a greeting. Kinda cliqueish behavior, as the other kids did the same to the one. Mother & I jumped on it with both feet, saying my son had to be cordial and respond to greetings appropriately. Well, waddaya know? After my son was cordial and spoke with him, it turns out the kid knew the entire Transformers song or something equally cool to 4 & 5 YO boys. My boy made sure
everyone knew the former leper had such coolness and he became mildly popular. I spoke to kid's mother later that year and she said, "Your son is a rock star, according to my boy." I dunno about
that, but my boy seems to be able to defend himself (see below), but is still kind to kids, animals, and especially babies & toddlers.
One of the kids on the basketball team was tormenting my boy and my boy wasn't sure how to respond, as he is a good & gentle kid. The alpha bully worked toadies up into fellow tormenters. My wife & I were on the same page: If he does it again,
hit him as hard as you can in the gut.
Well, bully & his boys did it again, and alpha bully got his. No more tormenting after that. It is not nearly as fun when you can't breathe and run gasping to mommy & daddy, who saw the bullying and did nothing. Hey, keep a tight reign on your budding sociopath if you don't want him to get punched.
I was large enough to preclude
most bullying as a kid. A bully had to have more than a year on me. The freakiest bully was this overgrown freako asswipe with birth defects: no thumb on his hypertrophied left hand & arm and an atrophied right arm & hand. Yeah, no-win situation. After I had had enough, I nailed him back, we both got in trouble, and he realized I was his size, had two good arms, wouldn't take his crap, and could put the hurting on him with the 2:1 arm advantage.