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Author Topic: Little known correspondences come to light!  (Read 10991 times)

280plus

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Little known correspondences come to light!
« on: April 12, 2011, 08:34:24 AM »
I'll clean up the spacing later cause I gtg now. I thought a lot of these were pretty funny. Been then I understand I should stay away from thinking as much as possible.  =|

 ;)

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving until 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

 

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

 

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

 

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

 

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

 

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

 

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle

 

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go

 

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

 

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

 

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed

 

 

Dear Nickleback,
That's enough.
Sincerely,

The World

 

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,

Black people

 

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

 

Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely,

United States

 

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere

 

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,

Superman

 

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

 

Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,

Al Gore

 

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,

Alcohol

 

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012.

Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy, ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

 

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

 

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

 

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die.

CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified  Arachnophobic

 

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

 

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

 

Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper

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TechMan

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2011, 12:21:24 PM »
Too funny!   :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
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Hawkmoon - Never underestimate another person's capacity for stupidity. Any time you think someone can't possibly be that dumb ... they'll prove you wrong.

Bacon and Eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Stupidity will always be its own reward.
Bad decisions make good stories.

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MechAg94

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2011, 01:25:16 PM »
Quote
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely,

United States
:lol:
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“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

birdman

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2011, 02:07:37 PM »
Quote from: 280plus on April 12, 2011, 08:34:24 AM
Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go

Dear Jack,
You were dead.  Live with it.  Oh wait, you can't.
Sincerely,
Rose
PS, you wouldn't have wanted me anyway, I'm obviously an idiot, not only did I not tell Bill Paxton he was wasting time and millions searching for the jewels when I had them, but even though I had a multi-generational family that could have used the MILLIONS to, you know, go to college and such, I tossed it in the ocean.  Find it now paxton!

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear black people,
We do.
Sincerely,
Skin-colored Band Aids

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Superman,
Its a fashion accessory, and mad skills, you eugenic bastard.
I needed to be smart unlike you, given that people in metropolis cant seem to see through your "disguise" of glasses.
Sincerely,
Batman
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BlueStarLizzard

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2011, 02:52:21 PM »
The fox news one  :laugh:
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280plus

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2011, 02:54:42 PM »
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280plus

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2011, 03:00:23 PM »
Mr birdman, please note that I said I thought a lot of them were funny, not all of them. We generally try to keep it light around here. I do anyways. Unless of course it involves the correct way to make cornbread, then all bets are off.  >:D

 :laugh:

oops, I mean   :-X
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AZRedhawk44

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2011, 03:38:27 PM »
Quote from: 280plus on April 12, 2011, 03:00:23 PM
Unless of course it involves the correct way to make cornbread, then all bets are off.  >:D



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280plus

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2011, 04:10:26 PM »
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! What have I done!!  :O  :facepalm:

I know, I'll go get in the corner for a while. 1 minuute per year of age. See you in 53 minutes.  :'(
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birdman

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2011, 04:35:48 PM »
Quote from: 280plus on April 12, 2011, 03:00:23 PM
Mr birdman, please note that I said I thought a lot of them were funny, not all of them. We generally try to keep it light around here. I do anyways. Unless of course it involves the correct way to make cornbread, then all bets are off.  >:D

 :laugh:

oops, I mean   :-X

I thought they were funny to, I was just trying to add laughs, not subtract :)
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280plus

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2011, 04:44:36 PM »
OK, I disunderstood. It's been known to happen. I thought you were maybe a little harsh on Superman. He's sacred here, along with Chuck Norris and Mr T., respectively of course.  ;)

Now, if noone mentions another word about cornbread we might be ok. :-X

Peeples takes their cornbread seriously 'round these here parts.  :O

 :angel:

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birdman

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2011, 06:06:17 PM »
Quote from: 280plus on April 12, 2011, 04:44:36 PM
OK, I disunderstood. It's been known to happen. I thought you were maybe a little harsh on Superman. He's sacred here, along with Chuck Norris and Mr T., respectively of course.  ;)


Superman is a dumb jock.  Just wait, hear me out.
Okay, so superman, by virtue of his genetics, is good looking, tall, permanently young, superstrong, can fly, shoot heat vision, cold breath, is invulnerable, etc.

His opponent, lex luthor, who -almost- wins every time, is...smart.  That's it, smart.  And he almost wins against superman.  Sounds like jock v. Nerd no?  Basically superman is being an ahole.  Perhaps if he wasn't showing off all the time, luthor wouldn't have to sink California to make a buck.

Anyway, being a nerd myself, with the exception of the "kill millions" part, you kinda have to feel sorry for lex the nerd.  I mean, Microsoft is evil, but would you cheer if Arnold beat the crap out of bill gates for making a buck off the blue screen of death suffering of the world?
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280plus

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2011, 06:10:03 PM »
Hmmm, seems to be a rather plausible argument. Let me think on this...


*Anyone who's been around here awhile can tell you that me thinking is never good...  [tinfoil]
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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2011, 07:24:04 PM »
Birdman: This site might be of interest to you, regarding Superman's other qualities.  :lol:


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Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
:lol:
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Bogie

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2011, 09:46:53 AM »
Superman's not too bright... Why else would he duck when the bad guy throws the gun at him?
 
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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2011, 11:04:41 AM »
Quote from: AZRedhawk44 on April 12, 2011, 03:38:27 PM


I spy red & green pepper. 

Therefore it is cornbreadFAIL!

Doesn't matter if you cook it in cast iron, if you include adulterants like red & green peppers.

If someone will put peppers in cornbread, there is no telling to what depths they will sink.  Probably dress their GI Joe in Barbie clothes, too.
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roo_ster

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280plus

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2011, 11:14:50 AM »
Quote
I spy red & green pepper.
It's a photoshop. You can tell by the pixels.
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White Horseradish

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2011, 12:20:49 PM »
Superman... Meh.

Phantom is da man. His superpower is a pair of 1911s.
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MechAg94

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2011, 12:25:39 PM »
Quote from: 280plus on April 13, 2011, 11:14:50 AM
It's a photoshop. You can tell by the pixels.
The color is all wrong also.  Plain cornbread with some sugar added to the mix with lots of butter added later is fine by me.  I'm not one of those who think that adding everything under that sun makes it better.  Just my preference.

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BlueStarLizzard

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #19 on: April 13, 2011, 01:24:08 PM »
Quote from: White Horseradish on April 13, 2011, 12:20:49 PM
Superman... Meh.

Phantom is da man. His superpower is a pair of 1911s.

Piffle! the best gadget type superhero is clearly the Punisher.  ;/

wwhy have a pair of 1911's, when you can have everything?
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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2011, 03:27:11 PM »
Quote from: White Horseradish on April 13, 2011, 12:20:49 PM
Superman... Meh.

Phantom is da man. His superpower is a pair of 1911s.
I thought that was the Shadow.  ???
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280plus

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #21 on: April 13, 2011, 03:27:54 PM »
Well, all I can add is you must remember Superman's outfit and cape were made for him by his Mom so I believe that gives him the edge over all. In America anyways.  [popcorn]
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vaskidmark

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #22 on: April 13, 2011, 04:39:40 PM »
Quote from: 280plus on April 13, 2011, 03:27:54 PM
Well, all I can add is you must remember Superman's outfit and cape were made for him by his Earf step- Mom so I believe that gives him the edge over all. In America anyways.  [popcorn]

FIFY.

stay safe
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AZRedhawk44

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #23 on: April 13, 2011, 04:42:34 PM »
How did his Earf-mom sew his impervious/impenetrable blanket into a cape?  A sewing needle wouldn't go through it.
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"But whether the Constitution really be one thing, or another, this much is certain - that it has either authorized such a government as we have had, or has been powerless to prevent it. In either case, it is unfit to exist."
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Little known correspondences come to light!
« Reply #24 on: April 13, 2011, 07:47:19 PM »
Quote from: AZRedhawk44 on April 13, 2011, 04:42:34 PM
How did his Earf-mom sew his impervious/impenetrable blanket into a cape?  A sewing needle wouldn't go through it.

Kryptonite Needle.
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