More aviation rules...

[AmbulanceDriver]

You let me know if that happens, okay?

No, that was "Oh God, Oh God, we're all gonna die?"

[Fly320s]

"OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE"

Yes, but not until May 21st.

[S. Williamson]

You let me know if that happens, okay?

No, no.  We're... we're good. 

[Jamisjockey]

Was that you, Jamis? 

Oh sweet baby xenu I plead the fifth.

I've got a few. Some of which may have come out of my own mouth.....

[griz]

"OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE"

Not aviation related, but there was a bus service that used to haul shipyard workers on old school buses.  The ride began at 5:30 so the ride in was usually quiet as most of the passengers dozed.  Then one of the retreads started coming apart and loudly beat against the wheel well.  The guy sitting above it shouted "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"  Good for a laugh before work.

[Jamisjockey]

Smartassery from the tower:

"Start  your base turn right now and keep it really tight, cleared touch and go. You're inside of a heavy DC8 on a five mile final."
Dude rolls out on short final.....heavy bearing down on the cessna....heavy pipes in "Objects in your mirror are larger than they appear! Move your ass!!"
 

Delta on the downwind misses two of my calls.  Grabassing in the cockpit flight deck I suppose.
"Delta one two three four, Turn left heading 0-9-0, descend and maintain Niner thousand"
"Roger Approach.  Right 0-9-0, niner thousand.....hey, there's a mountain out here!"
"Delta one two three four, that's why I said left.  Your other left.   Turn left heading 0-9-0  now!"
Someone keys up randomly, SWA who I was trying to vector DAL to follow, I suspect...."I bet you're paying attention now, Delta!"
 

[HankB]

Long line of aircraft waiting for takeoff clearance. Controllers are slow, for whatever reason. Voice comes on radio "I'm bored!"  Irate controller gets on and says "That comment violates rules! Identify yourself! Identify yourself!"  Short pause. Original voice gets on and says "I said I was bored, not stupid."

******************

My mother was once on the Northwest shuttle between Minneapolis and Chicago's Midway Airport. Chicago had fog, so they were circling around for a while, waiting for it to clear. Captain came on frequently with an update . . . maybe they'd divert to O'Hare . . . O'Hare was also socked in . . . if they didn't get clearance, our fuel state might make them go back to Minneapolis, or maybe Rockford. Finally, after the better part of an hour circling, the pilot announces: "All passengers and flight crew fasten belts, WE'RE GOING DOWN! "      (Smooth landing, no problem, just a bad choice of words.)

******************

Several decades ago, a colleague was on a *small* commuter plane from Minneapolis up to some place in northern Minnesota. (Mesabi Airlines?) It was a small twin-engine propeller aircraft, seating maybe 8 or 12 people, but only 4 passengers (all from the same company) were on board. After a brief delay – the co-pilot hadn’t shown up – the pilot asked if anyone wanted to see the cockpit. So my colleague made his way up there. Pilot had him sit down in the second chair. Announced “OK, we have our co-pilot” (Pssst! Don’t touch anything, just wave to the control tower as we taxi by”) And they were off.

[birdman]

Not aviation related, but there was a bus service that used to haul shipyard workers on old school buses.  The ride began at 5:30 so the ride in was usually quiet as most of the passengers dozed.  Then one of the retreads started coming apart and loudly beat against the wheel well.  The guy sitting above it shouted "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"  Good for a laugh before work.

My roommates did something similar when we were in socal.  The commute was the valley to skunk works in Palmdale at O-dark-30 every day.  Well, one of them would always sleep in the car, denying the driver of needed conversation to stay awake, so one morning he quietly pulled over, pulled about 30ft in front of a large highway sign on a hefty pole, stopped, then screamed and hit the horn.  Sleeping roommate, waking up in this sensory environment, having fallen asleep with the car at highway speeds, rapidly learned a valuable lesson...and needed new undies for that work day.

[Tallpine]

Highway 14 Blues 

[Regolith]

My roommates did something similar when we were in socal.  The commute was the valley to skunk works in Palmdale at O-dark-30 every day.  Well, one of them would always sleep in the car, denying the driver of needed conversation to stay awake, so one morning he quietly pulled over, pulled about 30ft in front of a large highway sign on a hefty pole, stopped, then screamed and hit the horn.  Sleeping roommate, waking up in this sensory environment, having fallen asleep with the car at highway speeds, rapidly learned a valuable lesson...and needed new undies for that work day.

Friend of mine did something similar.  He was heading to California on I-5 as part of a contractor fire crew in order to fight some wildfires down there, and he was driving the fire truck, with the rest of his crewmates asleep.  While he was driving he noticed a semi-tractor being towed by another semi, facing backwards.  So he crept up behind it until he was as close as he dared get to it, then started screaming OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO DIE! at the top of his lungs.  The other guys were NOT amused.