Edgar Friendly: "You see, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read.
I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?"
I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay?
I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section.
I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine.
Why?
Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal?
I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is?
It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener".