Yet another fine parent...

[T.O.M.]

Words cannot describe what should happen to the girlfriend and if the boyfriend knew what was going on and didn't report it he needs to have his ass beat.

I recently debated the death penalty over drinks at a magistrate's conference.  I said that the death penalty is greatly misapplied in America.  The guy who robs the convenience store and shoots the clerk is less of a risk to re-offend than a serial child molestor who raped 10+ kids, yet the killer gets the death penalty while the child rapist sits in prison with the possibility of parole.

[Scout26]

I will again point out that every child molester is cured 5 seconds after the first shovelful of dirt hits their coffin.

[BlueStarLizzard]

What pleasure does any person get from a child of that age?

Words cannot describe what should happen to the girlfriend and if the boyfriend knew what was going on and didn't report it he needs to have his ass beat.

Now the ex seems to be the only smart one in the bunch but then again what was she doing going through her ex's email?

Could have been something where he left his account open on her computer.

Hell, even i'd be tempted to take a peek.

[gunsmith]

yup, plus if the guy is that dumb in the first place he deserves it.
He probably was looking at the vid while his ex gf was looking.

[wacki]

 I Think some of you misread the story.  The molester sent pics to her boyfriend (implying current) while the ex-gf (implying past) found it

[lee n. field]

What pleasure does any person get from a child of that age?

I can speculate, but won't publicly.

[Balog]

I recently debated the death penalty over drinks at a magistrate's conference.  I said that the death penalty is greatly misapplied in America.  The guy who robs the convenience store and shoots the clerk is less of a risk to re-offend than a serial child molestor who raped 10+ kids, yet the killer gets the death penalty while the child rapist sits in prison with the possibility of parole.

Amen.

[seeker_two]

I recently debated the death penalty over drinks at a magistrate's conference.  I said that the death penalty is greatly misapplied in America.  The guy who robs the convenience store and shoots the clerk is less of a risk to re-offend than a serial child molestor who raped 10+ kids, yet the killer gets the death penalty while the child rapist sits in prison with the possibility of parole.

Each took a life....only difference is that it took one victim longer to die....

Well put, Chris....

[Balog]

Each took a life....only difference is that it took one victim longer to die....

Well put, Chris....

Ummm, no. I can only hope no victims of sexual crimes ever turn to you for help dealing with suicidal urges. "Yeah, your life was pretty much over when you were attacked." 

[Scout26]

Balog, I don't think that's what Seeker meant.

Our former neighbor worked with sexually abused kids.  She said it was like someone had killed the person, but left the still breathing body behind.  She said "It was like someone had turned off the lights."  The molester had taken and destroyed that which had been and left behind a empty shell, for the most part.  The trauma and damage is horrific, to say the least.

So yeah, you prove in court he did it, and I'd have no problems making the last thing the molester so to be to kneel in front of me while I had my 1911.   

[Balog]

Balog, I don't think that's what Seeker meant.

Our former neighbor worked with sexually abused kids.  She said it was like someone had killed the person, but left the still breathing body behind.  She said "It was like someone had turned off the lights."  The molester had taken and destroyed that which had been and left behind a empty shell, for the most part.  The trauma and damage is horrific, to say the least.

So yeah, you prove in court he did it, and I'd have no problems making the last thing the molester so to be to kneel in front of me while I had my 1911.   

And as you may have noticed I agreed with Chris too.

But my wife and I have a wonderful life, despite the bad things that have happened to us. To define our lives as being over, as though we are nothing more than what happened to us when we were children is incredibly insulting.

Sexual assault is horrific, and the scars never go away. The same could be said of the things I saw in Iraq, and watching my son die. But to say that my life is over because of the bad things in my past is just wrong. Children who have been molested need hope that it can get better, not to be told that their life is over.

[seeker_two]

Balog, I don't think that's what Seeker meant.

No, it wasn't....a molestation victim is pretty much destroyed psychologically from the assault....it takes a lot of time, courage, and pain before that person can put back together what got demolished.....

If we ever do get to execute child molesters, I'd prefer that we use a cold oven....put the monster in and turn up the heat....slowly....over the course of an hour or two....

[Balog]

We get it, you hate child molesters. Here's a cookie, we're all real proud of you. But guess what, so does pretty much everyone on earth who isn't one.

If you really want to do something, maybe try helping the victims instead of telling them their life is over and fostering revenge torture fantasies. If you really care that much about the subject do something positive about it instead of posting internet tough guy bs that ranges from unhelpful to actively harmful to anyone who reads it that is actually dealing with those issues.

[LadySmith]

I Think some of you misread the story.  The molester sent pics to her boyfriend (implying current) while the ex-gf (implying past) found it

I tried to tell 'em, Wacki. But they ain't listening.

[seeker_two]

If you really want to do something, maybe try helping the victims instead of telling them their life is over and fostering revenge torture fantasies. If you really care that much about the subject do something positive about it instead of posting internet tough guy bs that ranges from unhelpful to actively harmful to anyone who reads it that is actually dealing with those issues.

  ........just  .......


.....and the worst part is: we actually agree on the damage done....I just advocate that destroying someone's life psychologically should carry the same penalty as destroying someone's life physically.....and, while a victim can rebuild their life after this kind of crime, they shouldn't have had to go through this in the first place.....BTW, "destroyed" doesn't mean it can't be rebuilt.....look at Germany post-WWII....

....and, considering that I work with students that have gone through this (and worse) on a daily basis, maybe you should measure twice before you start cutting....

[Balog]

........just  .......


.....and the worst part is: we actually agree on the damage done....I just advocate that destroying someone's life psychologically should carry the same penalty as destroying someone's life physically.....and, while a victim can rebuild their life after this kind of crime, they shouldn't have had to go through this in the first place.....BTW, "destroyed" doesn't mean it can't be rebuilt.....look at Germany post-WWII....

....and, considering that I work with students that have gone through this (and worse) on a daily basis, maybe you should measure twice before you start cutting....

I agree with your premise, that child molesters deserve the death penalty.

But ideas have consequences, and the language we use has consequences too. Your language is thoughtless and harmful. And since you seem to missed it, I'm speaking from experience as someone who was repeatedly molested as a child, and who is married to someone who was repeatedly molested as a child. So get off your fscking high horse, and try listening to what I'm saying instead of getting defensive and ignoring my point.

Saying "Each took a life....only difference is that it took one victim longer to die...." is hurtful to victims. Talking about how you want to torture child molesters to death is not helpful to victims. This isn't about you. It's about the people you claim to be so worried about, and the hurt your thoughtless language can cause to them.

[CNYCacher]

A question I've always wondered is, "How much damage is done by the actual abuse, compared to how much is done by the reaction once the abuse is discovered?"

[seeker_two]

Balog: Out of respect for your experience and for the "P" in APS, I'm withdrawing from this discussion. We're not going to meet on any common ground here; and I'm not participating in any unnecessary drama.

BTW, before you start complaining about others' high horses, you'd best check what's under your own saddle....

[T.O.M.]

A question I've always wondered is, "How much damage is done by the actual abuse, compared to how much is done by the reaction once the abuse is discovered?"

After working in the system for 16 years, and haviung spent time holding the hand of a child victim as I walked him into court, promising that I would stop the molestor if he tried to hurt the boy in court, I can say this without a doubt...the molestor does tremendous damage, in that he takes the child's innocence, he warps the child's sense of self-worth, privacy, and sexuality, and destroys the trust the child has for his or her parent/guardian/family.  Reporting is traumatic, but in general is the first step in trying to repair the damage.

[T.O.M.]

As for the debate between Balog and Seeker, let me just say this...

In a murder, the victim's pain ended when the lights went out for him or her.  The evictim's family suffers from the loss, of course.  I won't say they get over it, because they don't.  But it gets better.

In a child rape or molestation, the victim's pain continues.  It may abate over time with treatment, counseling, and the support of a good, loving family and friends, but the scars remain.  The victim's family suffers right along, often blaming themselves for what happened.  The pain goes on for years.  And, sometimes, even with the right counseling, a supportive family, and all, the victim doesn't really recover.  I've gotten that call about a victim taking his life.  Don't want to remember that (I do) and really don't want talk about that...  It can get better.  It takes a long time and a great effort.  It can get worse.

[Strings]

Don't know if Chris has had the same experience I have, but I've noticed that "gets worse" is usually based on everyone focusing on the perp, and doing nothing for the victim.

That's where I get tired of folks' reaction to peds: everyone wants to get creative on how to execute Chester. How about spending some of that time and energy helping the victim recover the control over their own life?

[MechAg94]

You could say that about punishment for any crime.  No need to get creative, just get it done simply and quickly and move on.  IMO, cruel and unusual punishments serve no useful purpose.  Revenge is not useful.

[Strings]

DINGDINGDING! We have a winnah!

[T.O.M.]

Don't know if Chris has had the same experience I have, but I've noticed that "gets worse" is usually based on everyone focusing on the perp, and doing nothing for the victim.

My experience is 12 years as a criminal prosecutor, and almost 6 years on the bench. 

And Mech, cruel and unusual punishment was what we "fantasized" about over beers and drinks after the cases were done to decompress and relieve stress.  That, and range time, helped keep me sane.

[MechAg94]

I imagine you are at the sharp end of that issue.  Sometimes I wish the newspapers and such would publish a whole lot more details about what some of these criminals do.  It would be useful if the general public knew a lot more about how many cases there are and what was done.