Regarding riceboys and their riceburner toys...
Is it true the high-mounted wing on the trunklid, blue LED windshield washer nozzles, and Kanji stickers in the windows each add 10mph of speed to the total package?
You know you're a riceboy if:
... you find yourself using the excuse "yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude" after EVERY race
... you drive a 4 door 'type R'
... you have stickers that even most asians don't get
... you have stickers for parts you don't even have
... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'
... your car has so much camber it can drive on its side
... when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter
... your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter
... you have 'power by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine manufacturer
... birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees
... you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs
... you can't race uphill
... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars
... you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car
... you go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin
... your tach is bigger than your head
... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic
... you refuse to race because it's a "show car"
... your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip
... at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking arse on the autocross.
... your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose
... you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager
... you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.
... your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.
(Having sold my blown, big-block 580CID 8-second S-10 due to divorce just a few years ago, but she and her lawyer let me keep the Harley...)
