Now there is bullying in the workplace

[MicroBalrog]

While, on the most part I do agree with you, not all adults are in a position to leave their jobs due to being bullied.

While I don't think there should be a law regarding workplace bullying, I would hope a majority of businesses would prevent bully type behavior. It is one of those things that just makes sense. Confrontational workplaces cut down on productivity.

This is of course true.

[vaskidmark]

In the school context even simple emotional bullying (especially in early age, less so with later years) can be very harmful and vicious - remember that the children and adolescents involved have no way to leave. In the real world we are all free to quit our jobs if the people around us are a-holes. Not so with schools.

Actually not so.  What with the plethora of lawsuits that have been filed, schools are not well on judicial notice that they must do "something" about each case of bullying that is reported to them.  Repeated reports of bullying pretty much mean moving at least one of the kids at least out of the classroom, if not out of the school.  Kids who are the subject of multiple bullying reports can look forward to being assigned to "alternative education programs".  The biggest problem is that parents will not stand up and demand action from the schools and the juvenile justice [/ maniacal laughter] system, as well as searching out tile-crawlers who will file damage suits against the schools.

While, on the most part I do agree with you, not all adults are in a position to leave their jobs due to being bullied.

Agaihn, not quite so.  Thanks to the courts, you can quit and not only get unemployment but win law suits for being the victim of adverse/hostile work environment.

I'm not suggesting that those are "the" answers to all situations.  But if you try all the other ways of dealing with the situation - short of committing a violent crime yourself - and can't resolve the issue, the avenues are open to be used.

stay safe.

[Hawkmoon]

Ah the everybody gets a trophy has now entered the workplace.

It arrived at least 25 years ago.

I had one of the guys I supervised come into my office and go on a screaming (literally) rampage at me ... because I didn't thank him for doing his job. This was a guy who had previously worked in a union position for a large defense contractor. He was the living, breathing embodiment of the union mentality -- never arrived at work more than 30 seconds early, always had his coat on and was ready to be out the door at 5:00 sharp. His work wasn't horrible, but he was a cross-trainee from a different type of work so his work wasn't especially good, either, and he wasn't trying terribly hard to catch up to the people who knew what they were doing.

He honestly believed that I should give him special recognition for being a 9-to-5'er doing barely acceptable work at a barely tolerable rate of production.

[MicroBalrog]

Actually not so.  What with the plethora of lawsuits that have been filed, schools are not well on judicial notice that they must do "something" about each case of bullying that is reported to them.

That's certainly a good thing to know. Although I imagine it can also lean the otherway, with students being subject to unfair punishments.

It's not really clear how one can well resolve these issues.

But declaring "they should just toughen up" and ignoring them is not the answer, neither "purge the unclean" and punishing anything looking remotely suspicious.

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

It arrived at least 25 years ago.

I had one of the guys I supervised come into my office and go on a screaming (literally) rampage at me ... because I didn't thank him for doing his job. This was a guy who had previously worked in a union position for a large defense contractor. He was the living, breathing embodiment of the union mentality -- never arrived at work more than 30 seconds early, always had his coat on and was ready to be out the door at 5:00 sharp. His work wasn't horrible, but he was a cross-trainee from a different type of work so his work wasn't especially good, either, and he wasn't trying terribly hard to catch up to the people who knew what they were doing.

He honestly believed that I should give him special recognition for being a 9-to-5'er doing barely acceptable work at a barely tolerable rate of production.

i dearly wish i could assure you he was an anomaly.
i can't
i recently set a kid (30 something with 2 daughters one 6 one 14 who lives at home and can't seem to find steady work) up with a job. was one days pay for 1/2 days work about one mile from his house. job could lead to full time work.  no call no show. his truck has been broke 3 months and his ride didn't show. hes got a high dollar mountain bike that he posts vids on you tube from his helmet cam of his 20 mile rides but he "couldn't get motivated, it was so cold"  he did get motivated to have a g/f drive up from charlottesville and go down there to play house for the weekend. he manages to pay his child support most months and when he can't his mom bails him out
he can do a real good days work when he wants to
he never wants to for more than 3 days straight by which time he expects his talents to be recognized and be promoted to an executive position

[vaskidmark]

YoSafBridg was a victim, too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/21/christina-hendricks-talks-childhood-being-bullied-high-school_n_1291650.html?ir=Style

She may be walking the red carpet with the in-crowd now, but that wasn't always the case for Christina Hendricks. Esquire's 2010 "sexiest woman alive" confesses she was once a tortured high school student, who was spat on in her Virginia school's hallways.

I guess there is a lesson to be learned.  No, seriously, read the whole thing to see what she has to say about bullies and being bullied.  Plus, for the guys, there are pictures. (Did you expect anything less from AOLHuffington Post?)

stay safe.

[Terpsichore]

In the real world we are all free to quit our jobs if the people around us are a-holes.

Not all of us are in a position to quit our jobs because our boss is a-hole. 

While some of us do try to fight back by sticking up for ourselves or for our coworkers, it can backfire on us, or at least, it does in my work environment.  Even if we are right in our point and have the policy in hand to prove our point, two of my managers will say we are still wrong.  They are also fond of using everyone's "favorite" motivational technique, being yelled at or called stupid in front of customers.  Several of us have even called HR on both our GM and SM because of the way they deal with us, but no luck actually in results, yet.  So for those of us that have had enough, it's keep looking for a new job and deal with the two "managers" until something comes up. 

[RevDisk]

I guess there is a lesson to be learned.  No, seriously, read the whole thing to see what she has to say about bullies and being bullied.  Plus, for the guys, there are pictures. (Did you expect anything less from AOLHuffington Post?)

Lesson learned is careful who you look down on. Never know when it will bite you on the rear. I go out of my way to treat what many consider to be "menial" persons as friggin people. It has paid off so many times it's not even funny.


Yea, I remember that environment that Hendricks described. Columbine happened when I was in school. I remember the reaction, the administration went into a panic that goth kids might hurt jocks, instead of the other way around. HS football was probably the most important part of "education" to the majority of parents.

[Jamisjockey]

Workplace bullying and unions go hand in hand.  I was physically assaulted at a union event in '00 for daring to wear a hat with the employer's logo on it.....

[MrsSmith]

A few years ago I worked for a privately owned company in a fairly high level position. Seemed like a good job - decent salary, benefits, in an industry I enjoyed. But my second week on the job, the owner walked into my office and yelled at me, to the point veins were standing up on his forehead, about an improperly put together order that had gone out to one of his clients. I don't mind covering for the fact that you're a lazy, inept, idiot but I have to know that it's expected of me, and I didn't. But rather than saying, "Hey, this shouldn't happen, we need to do something to prevent it. Amy, fix this please," he yelled at me. I was so stunned I honestly didn't know how to react. I stood there looking at him until he stomped out of my office. Within minutes half a dozen people popped in to tell me to suck it up and keep going because that's just how things were. Really? You can walk into my office and totally *expletive deleted*ck up my day over something I had no hand in and that's just how it is?

The second time it happened I looked him in the eye and told him to get out of my office until he could speak civilly. He was so stunned he actually did it. The third time it happened, I had a pencil in my hand and held it up as if I were gesturing and as I walked toward him slightly jabbing it toward his face, I said, "You. Will. Not. Speak. To. Me. Like. That." By the time I got to "me" he was gone. He never yelled at me again, but instead switched to passive aggressive tactics which were worse because I couldn't really call him on anything specific, I could only avoid being in situations where he could use his tactics. Like rearranging my office so there was no way he could get between me and the door and always finding a reason someone else had to be present during meetings.

I couldn't leave - I had three kids and a husband so support. But when I was finally able to give notice, I had a ball with it. When he'd stage one of his little displays or attack a co-worker, I'd make very direct comments, like, "If you have a stroke, can we go home early?"  Or, "When you're finished screaming, do you suppose we could discuss this rationally and actually solve the problem?" The look on his face, that I would DARE to stand up to him, was priceless.

[BlueStarLizzard]

The funny thing about bosses bullying is that it really bites them on the ass.

My bosses do thank me for doing my job. When I leave in the afternoon one of them will say "thank you, liz. Have a good afternoon."
Then when I do stuff above and beyond my job, they really thank me, and often give me other rewards.
The thing is, I almost always am availble to do extras and if they call me, I go in unless it really is impossible (like i've been at the ER with dad all night) and I do work harder because of their obvious gratatude.

It can literally pay to be nice.

I've also noticed they get more cranky when we have a screw up employee, and anyones bad attitude can screw up everyone else.
Considering some of the stupid I've seen in the workforce, I can understand why some bosses get nasty. While it doesn't excuse that behavior, it does explain it.

[vaskidmark]

instead switched to passive aggressive tactics which were worse because I couldn't really call him on anything specific ....

Yes, documentation is key to convincing higher-ups and folks in EEOC/Worker's Comp/Unemployment that youu have an actual case.  For those that have not yet looked at it, see if your state allows one-party consent for audio recording.  If so, invest between $30 and $50 in a digital audio recorder and turn it on when you hit the parking lot in the morning and off when you get home.  Erasing a day of drudgery is not difficult, and uploading the file that just happens to contain those 30 seconds of hell is priceless.

Between HR and your attorney who is dealing with the fact that folks within 3 miles heard the berating you were subjected to, or that the supposedly subtle passive-aggressive dig tossed towards you overstepped the allowable boundaries, it's difficult to refute your own words in your own voice.

I really do believe that bullyng ought to, in the best of circumstances, be handled privately by the person on the receiving end convincing the bully by legal and non-violent means that it is in their best interest to cease the behavior.  But I am aware that often either the individual does not posses the skills, the courage, or the ability to accomplish that on their own.  Thus, I fully endorse using all of the techniques and tactics out there to both level the playing field and remedy the situation.

stay safe.