Story time....
I'm the oldest of four boys, and we were all born and raised in Brazil. Dad is a Brazilian national, Mom is American. My dad worked his *arse* off, but built a fuel alcohol distillery from the ground up on the family farm. Prior to that, he worked as a mechanical engineer, taught engineering courses at the university, traveled the world as an engineer (at one point, he was fluent in four languages, and could communicate in at least three more). We weren't wealthy, but we were definitely upper middle class. We never wanted for anything that we truly needed, and had a lot of our wants fulfilled to. Mom was able to be a stay at home Mom, and raise us boys. When I was 10, the twins were born (in 1986). In 1987, the Brazilian economy was in the toilet, and my folks made the painful decision to move to the US.
We arrived in December of '87, and for the first few months lived with family members (I remember having to lay out my "bed" every night in the living room, setting up the cushions on the floor and covering with sheets, etc.) because frankly, most of my folks savings got depleted in the move to the US. Dad, a highly experienced mechanical engineer, couldn't find work as an engineer to save his life. He was "over-experienced" or some other BS. So he got work wherever he could. Primarily, he delivered pizza's for Domino's. Quite frequently our meals were mis-made pizzas that were left over at the store. He also worked doing auto repairs, and really any other work he could find. This was not enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table for two teenagers and two toddlers. So Dad swallowed his pride and they applied for food stamps. Even with that assistance, it wasn't enough for 4 boys. We lived in a 3 bedroom apartment (yup, two boys per room). Which looking back now, was a luxury that my parents worked their butts off to provide. What closed the food gap for my family was the church. There was a program put together by several of the local churches that provided food boxes once a week to families in need, based on family size, etc. And then there was our church itself. Not the "church" but the people of the church. More than once, we would come back to our car after services were over to find the backseat completely filled with bags of groceries.
Even after Dad was able to get work as an engineer, it was during a pretty tough time in the economy, and while it met our needs, it certainly didn't provide any luxuries. So Mom worked as the receptionist/secretary at the school in our church, which allowed my brothers and I to attend the school there. And while it wasn't as "diverse" in the numbers of courses, etc, the knowledge they did provide was *deep*.
So why tell you all this?
Of us four boys: I'm a dispatcher/EMT for the busiest EMS system in the state. I had been trying to get into med school, had several interested, but things got messed up with my application, and then I got married. I chose to do what I'm doing now instead of going to med school and possibly compromising my marriage. We don't have any kids yet, but we're planning on it, and we've been married for 5 years. We own a house, two vehicles that are paid off, and a lot of "toys". Our only debt is my student loan (which now that everything else is paid off, we're going to tackle head on) and our mortgage. We could have bought a much bigger, much newer, and more expensive house. But we chose to set things up so that we could live strictly on my income once we have kids, so that my wife *can* be home and raise our kids (her choice, btw). Because she saw how much of an impact that made in both our lives.
My next younger brother, is a project manager for the low voltage side (automation and communication) for one of the largest electrical companies in the NW. the projects he works on are anywhere from the hundreds of thousand to millions of dollars. Just *his* portion of the jobs. The whole jobs are sometimes up to multi-million dollars, just for the electrical work - they just won bids for a couple of different hospitals either being built or majorly renovated. He is married, has been for 10 years, has two daughters that are polite, respectful, and intelligent. Yes, they can be a handful at times, but they *aren't* hooligans. They've also set themselves up so he is able to provide their needs, and his wife is also able to stay home with the girls.
The third brother is working for Verizon, and is trying to decide between continuing in the retail side and becoming a store manager, or to step into the technical side of the house. He's been married for about 4 years, with their first child being about 18 months old, and she's incredibly smart. His wife is also able to be a stay at home mom. They're saving up to purchase a house.
My youngest brother has been married for about three years, he and his wife both work, but he's working on his Master's in counseling to be a child counselor. They don't have any kids yet, and are saving up for a house.
I would say that the common theme for us boys was quite simple. Mom was able to be actively involved in our lives even while she was working (worked at our school). Dad was involved, even if he was working his butt off. He was never too busy to help us with a math problem or a science problem in our homework, or to help with Boy Scout projects. More than once I spent hours with him under a car, tinkering on an engine, or changing a clutch. Our parents were *involved* in our lives. They also weren't afraid to discipline us when we got out of line (and believe me, 4 boys managed to find all sorts of ways to get out of line). They instilled in all of us a love of learning, and to enjoy math, science, physics, chemistry, biology, hard sciences that have real world applications.
Ultimately, they instilled in us the knowledge that in order to get anything, you have to work hard and sacrifice. Rev kinda hit the nail on the head with a comment he made:
It is entirely possible to climb out of poverty if you are willing to work hard and make sacrifices. It is not easy. It IS a sacrifice to have books (even ones from a library) shoved under your nose at any free second, soaking up any last piece of useful information. It's a sacrifice to spend all your free time doing what you have to do to succeed, instead of what you want to do. It's a sacrifice to always make the right choices.
We could have chosen to live the "American Nightmare". Bury ourselves in so much debt we have no hope of getting out. Try to "keep up with the Joneses". Even if the Joneses have had 20 years to accumulate what they currently have now. We want it all, and we want it now, and damn the consequences.
