Rabbi, I know exactly what you mean.
Well I dont feel so bad now.
Every now and then I find myself waking up--OK, bolting out of bed at like 2AM having aspirated some acid reflux. Anyone get this and feel like they are going to die?
I've aspirated stomach contents, including solid bits on some nights, and thought to myself "This is a hell of a way for a combat veteran to die, asphyxiating on tonight's dinner while asleep in bed. What will my wife tell people at the funeral?". Luckily, I managed to cough up the chunks and the burning goes away after a bit. But you actually think you are going to die, no doubt about it.
I made a conscious decision to keep it a secret for a couple years, because if my flight surgeon had found out, he would've labeled it GERD or something similar, and permanently grounded me from flying. The Air Force considers GERD serious enough to discharge members who have it, and that would've been the end of my military career. I've known two active-duty members in my organization who were medically discharged/retired quite quickly once they were diagnosed with it. I would've been medically retired, if not forced to fly a desk, at my 17-18 year career point. So I kept my mouth shut and ate Tums by the handful until Prilosec OTC became available, and mentioned nothing during my annual flight physicals until my retirement in May of this year. Even then, when Prilosec OTC was temporarily pulled from the shelves (insurance coverage concerns), I had a panic attack because my panacaea was gone, and I dreaded going back to Tums.
Now that I'm a military retiree I have TriCare for Life, and when I get an opportunity, I will have the condition checked into soon. Prilosec OTC only works for me for the days I'm actually on the medication, there is little to no grace period in reflux once I stop taking it. I do, however, take one pill every other day, spacing things out and hoping not to cause some sort of collateral damage from being dependant too much on Prilosec, since it's supposed to be a temporary, 14-day on, problem fixed sort of drug. Maybe prescription Prilosec works differently, or a better solution is prescription Nexium. Either way, I'm only treating symptoms vs. fixing the root cause, and I know that's a Bad Thing.