Financial Advice

[Newt]

I read Fig's post about helping out some others with their financial predicament and wondered if some might have some ideas for me.  I work full-time 40+ hours/week and make a decent living.  My wife works 30-40 hours/week and makes about half what I make.  We just found out about a month ago that baby #1 is on the way, ready or not.  We have a handle on all of it right now, but when she has the baby (mid-end Feb), she plans on staying home.  I'm totally supportive of her doing it, but don't know how we're going to manage.  Since being pregnant, she's been eating (out) twice as much and I try to tell her we can't be doing that, but there's no arguing with a pregnant woman.  Doc bills are going to be coming in soon, and a recent fight with a skil saw landed me in the emergency room a few months ago, so there's more unexpected bills there.  I tried to talk her into letting me sell my pickup for something a little more affordable, but she won't budge... see previous line about arguing with pregnant women.  I'm not upside-down in it at all.  In fact, I should be able to sell it and buy another pickup for cash without having a payment.  I know eating out (especially now with her being pregnant) eats up a lot of money.  I'm not totally sure where else to cut out expenses or save other than those two.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for free financial advice, I'm just looking for any cost-saving ideas.  Any ideas?

[TarpleyG]

Sell the truck and stop eating out.  Sounds like you already answered your own questions.

Have cable?  Does it have Showtime, HBO, etc.?  Get rid of the movie channels and get basic.  How about a DSL line?  Get a slower connection for less money.  How about mobile phones?  Those are killing us at the tune of $80/month.  Can you get rid of them?  Turn up the thermostat a degree or two and turn off lights and fans if you aren't in the room.  Take shorter showers with colder water.  Reevaulate your auto insurance deductables--can you afford a higher one if in an accident?  You get the idea.

Greg

[SpookyPistolero]

Your two ideas are right on the money, and I fear you may have to deal with whatever retribution comes your way for going through with the truck sale. If you can get another reliable vehicle and have more cash in pocket, that's a big deal. It also would hopefully mean less insurance cost and less fuel cost.

Not sure how to get her to eat out less, maybe try more adventurous cooking at home? Eating out has always been my financial Achille's heel.

More monetarily wise folks will surely be along shortly, but my feelings are that your two ideas will be the most productive.

[Newt]

No cable/sattellite TV.  We have an antennae and get 3 local stations, so no cash there.  Internet at my house?  We have to pipe sunlight in.  We actually have a computer at home (mostly for her doing school work), but no internet.  We do have a cell phone, but my contract doesn't expire until Feb. of next year.  I've already checked into shutting it down, but it'll cost me somewhere in the range of 150 to do it.  Can't swing that.  I think our biggest problem is that we don't have in mind what we will *HAVE* to spend and therefore don't follow a budget.

[280plus]

there's no arguing with a pregnant woman.

Amen brother...

There's always the part time job two or three days a week. Maybe she could concentrate on developing somw work at home kind of job. Possibly get a daycare license and watch some extra kid for the day while she's at home with yours. I wouldn't recommend doing her more than one though. She'll be busy enough to start with. CONGRATULATIONS btw!

[Jamisjockey]

Preggo or not, she has to stop eating out.  For starters.  Selling the truck is a stellar idea.  She's going to have to get the hell over it, to be blunt.  Been there done that.  We were once 56k in credit card debt, and making 1/2 of the salary I make now.  
Cost savings ideas:
Stop eating out.  No treats, no snacks, coffee, nothing like that.  If it doesn't come off a grocery store shelf, you're not buying it.  Brown bag lunches/meals at work.  
Drink beer?  Yea, that's going to have to go bye bye for awhile.  Smoke?  Time to quit, sorry.
Can you use public transportation to work? Carpool?  Ride a bicycle?
Credit cards?  Consolodate them into one, if possible.  Call your CC company(s) and tell them you're struggling to make the payment.  Tell them you want a lower interest rate.  If they say no, talk to a supervisor.  This might take some patience, but it might pay off in the end.  Close any extra ones.  Do not even open new credit card offers, just cut them in half and then shred them.
One or two extra degrees on the thermostat.  Nice night? Open the windows.  
You can insulate a water heater to make it more efficient.  Check homedepot/lowes/whatever you have close for more info.
Cancel gym membership(s), etc.  You can run and do pushups for free.
Review your last months checking account, thourghly.  You might have some kind of automatic deductions you're not noticing thats draining it.  
Do not renew magazine subscriptions.
She's going to have to give up eating out.  You're going to have to put your foot down.  I've got two spawn, so I know how hard it can be to reason with a pregnant woman.....it just has to be done.  Sit down with her, show her the finances.  If you have to take her checkbook/debit card.....do it when she's sleeping

[w turner]

Been there....heck still there as my wife is expecting our second right now.  Fortunately she is as money conscious as I am so we are working together to make it possible for her to stay home after the second one is born.  We were lucky enough to find a reasonably priced quality daycare, but paying more than our mortgage payment for daycare for 2 kids is something we are not willing to do.    


If I were in your position where she REALLY wants to stay home with the kid(s), then use that to your advantage.  Show her on paper that her staying home may not be financially possible if you don't start sacrificing now.  I mean lay out a budget and show her in terms of real world dollars.  Also develop a chart that shows how much she spends eating out every day.  That is eye opening for most people.  This could mean selling your truck and her brown bagging it.  For the cost of one value meal at Burger King, you can buy a day's worth of good healthy food that she should be eating anyway.  

Is it manipluation?  Yes it is.  But it's manipulation that will help each of you further your common goal of allowng her to stay home.  

Short of that, decide how important being financially secure is and put your foot down by either making the changes or telling her she will have to work after the baby is born if things don't change.

W

[Newt]

Thanks 280.  I'm excited but nervous.  Just hope it's healthy baby and mom is ok afterward.

Credit card debt is maybe around 200-300.  It expired last month and I opted out of a new one.  It's just too easy to spend with.  Don't drink beer, but I do buy a can of snuff on occasion.  I say "on occasion" because I plan to have it down to nothing by the time the baby gets here.  No public transportation and I commute 20+ miles to work one way.  Gas is a big expense for us, but that should be cut down some when she has the baby.  I have an automatic thermostat, but I'll reprogram it a few degrees different when I get home.  Good idea there, especially since we've been having 100° days lately.  No magazine subscriptions or gym memberships.  I've been toying with the idea of a 2nd job, but haven't come up with any real options on that yet.  Thanks for all the input folks.  I welcome all advice/input.  Any other ideas?

[Felonious Monk/Fignozzle]

I'll give you a +1 on selling the truck.
There are some things for which a man has to stand up and claim the deed to the testicles.  This is one of those. times, IMO.

You can lay out the $ wisdom for her, and she can accept that you are the head of the household, OR she can withhold sex, approval, or whatever other manipulation she chooses to play.  Or, she may just stew for a little while and decide she's married a Wise and Wonderful man.

There are necessities, and there are niceties.  It may even take some time, but the trick is to not give a rat's rump about what the neighbors think, and live based on YOUR goals, your priorities.

Oh, and take emotion out of the financial planning.  It IS what it IS.  You might pretend it's someone ELSE'S budget, and they've come to YOU to advise them.

[Sindawe]

Got incandescent lights in the house?  Replace them with compact fluorescent bulbs.  Four months ago I replaced nine  incandescent bulbs in my home with CF bulbs, at a cost of about $70.  My electrical bill dropped by ~$25/month (and I don't leave lights on when not is use) from just that change.

[Brad Johnson]

Have to agree with Figgy - there are times to be nice and times to take a stand. Your wife may be pregnant and hormonal, but that ends in 7 or 8 months. Debts and financial problems last a lot longer than that. This is a case of "don't ask, just do". If she has a problem with it, ask her point-blank what's more important - keeping the truck and stuffing her face with fifteen bucks worth of food every day or two now or being able to be a stay at home mom later. Her choice. Hard line? Yep. But this is a purely practical, logical decision that HAS to be made. Letting emotion run the show right now will set you up for Very Bad Things when the baby arrives.

Brad

[Larry Ashcraft]

This might sound stupid, but it got my son through some tough times when his twin girls were born.

Deliver pizzas.

Yep, he was driving a trash truck during the day, helping me at my shop when he could, and then delivering for Pizza Hut in the evening.  The pay is actually quite good with the tips, but you need a reliable but beater car.  And you get to bring home free supper.

He finally finished his school and is working for Xcel Energy as an electronics engineer, but times were tough for them a couple years ago.

[DrAmazon]

May I intrude on the puddle of testosterone that this thread is soaking in?

How about if the two of you sit down TOGETHER with the checkbook register, credit card bills etc and work out a new budget that way?  Before you do that, each get small notebooks so you can write down everything you spend for 2-4 weeks so you can get a handle on how much you really spend.  By looking at it together the needed compromises may become obvious to both of you without arguing.  (I'm sure that you have an expense or two hiding in the budget too!)

When you do this, make sure you look at where you'll be cutting expenses by her staying home (her transportation, lunches, coffee, drycleaning etc).  You may find that you're not going as far backwards as you think.

Going into total denial/thrift mode can backfire on you.  You get so sick of nickel and diming and denying yourself everything, and you wind up making stupid purchases.  It could really cut into the joy that you two should be having right now.

Consider cutting back the eating out, maybe picking one or two nights a week that you do it, and eating in the rest.  If she's not feeling well, consider some of the prepared foods at the grocery here and there.  Those roasted chickens may cost more than a raw chicken, but cost less than dinner out for two, you get the leftovers and you can cook the carcass for broth.

If you decide to sell the truck, make sure that you're thinking about how a carseat will fit into a different vehicle. Maybe even buy your carseat now and take it with you when you look at vehicles. I've seen women really fighting to get babies into extended cabs.  

Many hate Suze Orman on TV and radio, but I really like her books.  They helped me get out of some financial hard times, partly by making me look at why I do what I do with my money.

[Guest]

Good advice!

[280plus]

I'm excited but nervous.

Sounds normal to me.

[DrAmazon]

Good advice!

Thank you Barbara.  I figured you were somewhere out there composing a similar reply!

[Brad Johnson]

How about if the two of you sit down TOGETHER with the checkbook register, credit card bills etc and work out a new budget that way?

How very logical, rational, and well though out. You have obviously never dealt with a pregnant woman.

Brad

[Stickjockey]

Ah yes, how well I remember.

Baby stuff-

Three words; second hand stores. Furniture especially. New baby stuff is outlandishly expensive, and they almost always grow out of stuff before wearing it out. Same goes for kid shoes. Goodwill is your friend.

Breastfeed if possible. Better for the kid, easier on the pocketbook. If not, stock up now to be ready for the first few months. Figure about a can and a half per week.

If she's (or you are) handy with a sewing machine, savings can be had by making some things herself. Also a good way to teach yourself a new skill. Watch for fabric store sales.

A question: did you eat out often before the kiddo? If not, it's possible that it's just the hormone thing and she'll lose interest after the kid is born. My wife had cravings for Dairy Queen soft-serve ice cream. We ate more of that stuff during the pregnancy than I'd had in the previous ten years. After the birth, the desire went away completely.

[mtnbkr]

Three words; second hand stores.

Absolutely.  You'd be amazed at the deals you'll find.

My wife found a Burley kiddy trailer (attaches to your bike) for $70 at one.  It was about as new as it could get without being in a bike shop.  They retail for $300ish new.  Even after a couple years use, I could sell it on ebay or via a bike forum for more than I paid.

Chris

[Guest]

...we ...don't follow a budget.

Start keeping a monthly budget immediately. Make a spreadsheet with 12 months and a list of all recurring expenses. Ours has property tax, income tax, credit cards, gasoline, food, phone, electric, TV, cell phones, trash pickup, insurance (heath, home, car), vehicle registrations, cash and miscellaneous.

 Fill it in after each months' bills are paid. Soon you will see where to cut since some expenses are non-discretionary.

We use one credit card for groceries, gasoline and restaurants (and little else) so we can break out food and gas on the statement.

 Rig the right hand and lower lines as "total" lines to add up each month and the yearly amounts for each line. The grand total (lower right) will show what you have spent so far.

 When you learn your non-discretionary expenses, subtract them from your income and you will have your discretionary amount. Divide that by two to get how much you each can spend. If you want you can further divide that to get your monthly, weekly and daily amounts.

[client32]

You will get there, it won't take long to figure out.  

If this is the first grandkid, and your parents are anything like our, there isn't much you will be buying for the baby in the first year.  Our oldest is 3, and we have probably bought less than half the stuff she has had.

Other advise that has been passed onto me, take the time to enjoy your kid(s) while they are young.  Meaning don't worry about the money so much that you never see them.  I don't know many people that take that advise, but there it is.

As for aurguing with a pregnant woman, you can do it.  It just isn't worth the bruises and broken limbs.

[RadioFreeSeaLab]

I have a thought.  Start saving your wife's income now.  Don't touch it.  Live like it doesn't exist.  Then when she stops working, you'll have a little extra money saved up, and you'll already be somewhat used to living without her income.

[MaterDei]

I can't add anything to the good financial advice you've already received.  I just wanted to say congratulations on the new baby!

You've married well.  It's unfortunately uncommon to find wifes who actually want to mother their children after they birth them.  Most women nowadays just want to give them over to the state to raise them.  You done good!