Author Topic: Things not to say when shopping with your wife (Read 3346 times)

MillCreek · « **on:** March 10, 2013, 04:54:33 PM »

When you are inside a Coldwater Creek store, you should not ask your wife 'Is this the fat lady store or the old lady store?' apparently loud enough to be overheard. Especially when you can be overheard by an assistant superintendent at the school district who knows your wife. Your wife then tries to pretend she doesn't know you, but is unsure if she was successful.

PS: Coldwater Creek is the old lady store.

Sergeant Bob · « **Reply #1 on:** March 10, 2013, 05:08:57 PM »

Quote from: MillCreek on March 10, 2013, 04:54:33 PM

'Is this the fat lady store or the old lady store?'

Or worse, "Yes honey, that does make yer butt look big".

vaskidmark · « **Reply #2 on:** March 10, 2013, 06:56:09 PM »

Quote from: Sergeant Bob on March 10, 2013, 05:08:57 PM

Or worse, "Yes honey, that does make yer butt look big".

No, no, no.

Far better: "That looked so good on your grandmother. You should get it, too."

My buddy who followed this suggestion got out of the hospital in only 6 weeks. His child support only takes 75% of his before-taxes paycheck.

stay safe.

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #3 on:** March 10, 2013, 10:30:42 PM »

My ex went from a size 7 when we married to a size 18. She was shopping, looking at sweaters, and was wearing canary yellow pants, which in and of themselves were horrible. She tried on a black sweater, and asked what I thought. I wanted to say she looked like a bumble bee, but I bit my tongue.

BlueStarLizzard · « **Reply #4 on:** March 10, 2013, 10:42:06 PM »

Straight men should not be taken shopping.

...

Except my Dad, who weirdly enough, has good taste in fashion.

BobR · « **Reply #5 on:** March 10, 2013, 10:42:39 PM »

Whatever you do, if you end up in a Women's World (larger clothing) and see a tag that says size 28P, do not ask what the P stands for. They will tell you "petite", and then you have to not laugh at the vision of a sized 28 women with a 26" inseam is petite. I am now allowed back in there, but can't talk.

bob

MillCreek · « **Reply #6 on:** March 12, 2013, 03:25:41 PM »

Before I was corrected, I honest to God thought that the 'W' on a size tag, such as 16W, stood for wide.

Scout26 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 12, 2013, 04:20:09 PM »

Quote from: MillCreek on March 12, 2013, 03:25:41 PM

Before I was corrected, I honest to God thought that the 'W' on a size tag, such as 16W, stood for wide.

It doesn't

What does it stand for? Whoa?!?!?

BlueStarLizzard · « **Reply #8 on:** March 12, 2013, 04:24:53 PM »

Quote from: scout26 on March 12, 2013, 04:20:09 PM

It doesn't

What does it stand for? Whoa?!?!?

Womans
As opposed to Misses, Petite, Long and ... I think there are a couple others.

And the teen/youthful clothing has diffrent size numbers. Odd is younger, Even is everyone else. And then some brands do odd/even for sizes.
And nobody sizes the same way.
AND then you have diffrent companies with diffrent dress sizes for diffrent S, M, L, XL sizes.

This is why I hate shopping for clothes and love Old Navy.

AZRedhawk44 · « **Reply #9 on:** March 12, 2013, 05:35:10 PM »

Each day I actually commute to work, I drive past the "Dress Barn."

Yes, the "Dress Barn."

Every time I drive by, I do a mental word association with "Dress" and "Barn" and I am left with either images of porcine and bovine anthropomorphism... or dress-up day for Apache Junction's Ladies' Rotary Club.

lee n. field · « **Reply #10 on:** March 12, 2013, 06:15:39 PM »

Quote from: scout26 on March 12, 2013, 04:20:09 PM

It doesn't

What does it stand for? Whoa?!?!?

Whale?

AJ Dual · « **Reply #11 on:** March 13, 2013, 12:08:36 AM »

Say it in your weirdest pee-wee Herman voice:

DOES ANY OF THIS LINGERIE COME IN CHILDREN'S SIZES?

CNYCacher · « **Reply #12 on:** March 13, 2013, 09:02:45 AM »

Quote from: bluestarlizzard on March 12, 2013, 04:24:53 PM

Womans
As opposed to Misses, Petite, Long and ... I think there are a couple others.

And the teen/youthful clothing has diffrent size numbers. Odd is younger, Even is everyone else. And then some brands do odd/even for sizes.
And nobody sizes the same way.
AND then you have diffrent companies with diffrent dress sizes for diffrent S, M, L, XL sizes.

This is why I hate shopping for clothes and love Old Navy.

Since we've been married, I've watched my wife go from a 6-8 to a 6, to a 4 and now mostly 4 but occasionally a 2. She hasn't really changed in size, the clothes are just sized differently.

seeker_two · « **Reply #13 on:** March 13, 2013, 10:11:34 AM »

See, here's your problem....you're going clothes shopping with your wife. Don't do that. I don't go clothes shopping with my wife, and we've been happily married for 11 years.....

CNYCacher · « **Reply #14 on:** March 13, 2013, 10:34:37 AM »

Quote from: seeker_two on March 13, 2013, 10:11:34 AM

See, here's your problem....you're going clothes shopping with your wife. Don't do that. I don't go clothes shopping with my wife, and we've been happily married for 11 years.....

I can pick out anything I want to see her in and I get a fashion show when we get home. I am not seeing the problem.

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #15 on:** March 13, 2013, 11:00:06 AM »

Quote

I can pick out anything I want to see her in and I get a fashion show when we get home. I am not seeing the problem.

You don't have a problem. You're blessed.

Not long ago, after we'd decided to divorce, I commented to my wife that she should have one of those little yellow pickup trucks with the flashing yellow lights follow her wherever she goes. Luckily for me she didn't get the joke.

HankB · « **Reply #16 on:** March 13, 2013, 04:18:15 PM »

Why would a man want to go clothing shopping with a woman? After all, women dress up for other women . . . they undress for men.

RevDisk · « **Reply #17 on:** March 13, 2013, 04:59:10 PM »

My old boss' wife once asked me what I thought of her new hair cut. It was short, and the color wasn't great. Shaping was ok, but eh.

So, she asked for my opinion on it. I'm an honest guy. "It looks fairly hideous."

I swear, after a dramatic pause, it sounded more demonic than human when she said "WHAT?". My boss just shook his head and kept walking. She got her revenge, by proxy. She had an attractive redhead lady throw a pillow over my face and try to shank me in the kidneys. Worth it.

dogmush · « **Reply #18 on:** March 13, 2013, 07:16:43 PM »

Quote from: RevDisk on March 13, 2013, 04:59:10 PM

I swear, after a dramatic pause, it sounded more demonic than human when she said "WHAT?". My boss just shook his head and kept walking. She got her revenge, by proxy. She had an attractive redhead lady throw a pillow over my face and try to shank me in the kidneys. Worth it.

AJ Dual · « **Reply #19 on:** March 13, 2013, 10:16:23 PM »

Yeah, if it was Castle's Mom, he doesn't want to know.

If it was his daughter, he REALLY doesn't want to know.

seeker_two · « **Reply #20 on:** March 13, 2013, 11:45:15 PM »

Quote from: CNYCacher on March 13, 2013, 10:34:37 AM

I can pick out anything I want to see her in and I get a fashion show when we get home. I am not seeing the problem.

Sounds like the same thing Clinton Kelly does....but he gets paid more....

Quote from: RevDisk on March 13, 2013, 04:59:10 PM

She got her revenge, by proxy. She had an attractive redhead lady throw a pillow over my face and try to shank me in the kidneys. Worth it.

Was her name Saffron, perchance?.....

RevDisk · « **Reply #21 on:** March 14, 2013, 07:02:28 PM »

Quote from: seeker_two on March 13, 2013, 11:45:15 PM

Was her name Saffron, perchance?.....

Pretty close, actually. Looked a bit similar. I thought it was rather funny.

Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas · « **Reply #22 on:** March 14, 2013, 07:19:26 PM »

Quote from: bluestarlizzard on March 10, 2013, 10:42:06 PM

Straight men should not be taken shopping.

...

Except my Dad, who weirdly enough, has good taste in fashion.

Meh, women have no taste for the most part. They will spend hours shopping, and return triumphantly with extremely uninteresting clothes with no practical use to save them (when I buy uninteresting clothes, at least they have usable pockets). Sometimes they will get lucky and hit on something that looks good, but not often. It's a numbers game.

Girls with good taste tend to be bisexual, IME.

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Author Topic: Things not to say when shopping with your wife (Read 3346 times)