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Author Topic: Attack of the Beavers  (Read 2463 times)

Ben

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Attack of the Beavers
« on: May 29, 2013, 04:11:00 PM »
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"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."

lee n. field

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2013, 04:19:20 PM »
Quote
rash of reports of aggression by beavers, which can weigh up to 30 kilograms (about 65 pounds) and stand about a meter (three feet) high.

...

As he tried to grab the animal, it bit him several times. One of the bites hit a major artery in the leg, according to Sulim.

The man's friends were unable to stop the blood from spouting, and he was pronounced dead when he arrived at Sulim's clinic in the village of Ostromechevo.

He tried to grab it.  Idiot.
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freakazoid

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2013, 04:34:47 PM »
Going with the theme of the melon thread... :angel:
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MillCreek

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2013, 04:35:34 PM »
Last year or so, we had a hiker in the Olympic National Park die after being gored by a mountain goat.  The goat's horn lacerated his left femoral artery and he bled out in minutes.  People can be surprised by how much, and how fast, a femoral artery bleed is.
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_____________
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Snohomish County, WA  USA


Quote from: Angel Eyes on August 09, 2018, 01:56:15 AM
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Gewehr98

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2013, 07:01:34 PM »
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"Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...

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TommyGunn

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2013, 07:41:48 PM »
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MOLON LABE   "Through ignorance of what is good and what is bad, the life of men is greatly perplexed." ~~ Cicero

lupinus

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2013, 07:45:38 PM »
That's one big angry beaver right there.

Best to avoid big angry Eastern European beavers that smell of the swamp.
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Quote from: MicroBalrog on March 20, 2015, 03:39:21 AM
That is all. *expletive deleted*ck you all, eat *expletive deleted*it, and die in a fire. I have considered writing here a long parting section dedicated to each poster, but I have decided, at length, against it. *expletive deleted*ck you all and Hail Satan.

Sergeant Bob

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2013, 09:21:37 PM »
Quote from: lee n. field on May 29, 2013, 04:19:20 PM
He tried to grab it.  Idiot.

Darwin wins again!
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Fly320s

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2013, 09:28:21 PM »
Quote from: lee n. field on May 29, 2013, 04:19:20 PM
He tried to grab it.  Idiot.

Maybe that beaver belonged to another man.
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Islamic sex dolls.  Do they blow themselves up?

lee n. field

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2013, 11:19:59 PM »
Quote from: Sergeant Bob on May 29, 2013, 09:21:37 PM
Darwin wins again!

Well, he was 60, so if he was going to pass his genes on it probably already happened.

Look at those specs.  Big grown up ones are up to about waist high.  They cut down trees with their teeth!.  They're wild animals, not cute pets.

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2013, 11:48:54 PM »
Quote from: lee n. field on May 29, 2013, 11:19:59 PM
Well, he was 60, so if he was going to pass his genes on it probably already happened.

Look at those specs.  Big grown up ones are up to about waist high.  They cut down trees with their teeth!.  They're wild animals, not cute pets.



That's why you kick it in the *expletive deleted*ing teeth.  I grew up in Oregon, we don't take no *expletive deleted*it from no beavers.  :laugh:

This whole story is strikingly similar to this story from April.
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Regolith

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2013, 12:02:05 AM »
Quote from: Physics on May 29, 2013, 11:48:54 PM
That's why you kick it in the *expletive deleted* teeth.  I grew up in Oregon, we don't take no *expletive deleted* from no beavers.  :laugh:

So you rooted for the Ducks?
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K Frame

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #12 on: May 30, 2013, 12:05:47 AM »
Jerry Mathers is one mean ass drunk...
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Physics

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2013, 12:33:48 AM »
Quote from: Regolith on May 30, 2013, 12:02:05 AM
So you rooted for the Ducks?

More like rooting for CAMCOR. ;)
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Regolith

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2013, 12:34:46 AM »
Quote from: Physics on May 30, 2013, 12:33:48 AM
More like rooting for CAMCOR. ;)

Close enough, you filthy hippy.  :P =D
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The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. - Thomas Jefferson

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. - William Pitt the Younger

Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. - Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

Physics

  • ∇xE=-1/c·∂B/∂t, ∇·E=4πρ, ∇·B=0, ∇xB=1/c·∂E/∂t, F=q(E+v/cxB)
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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2013, 12:45:58 AM »
Quote from: Regolith on May 30, 2013, 12:34:46 AM
Close enough, you filthy hippy.  :P =D

For some reason all the other hippies don't want to be my friend.

Probably has something to do with the Slayer t-shirts.  >:D
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lupinus

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #16 on: May 30, 2013, 05:31:02 AM »
Quote from: Sergeant Bob on May 29, 2013, 09:21:37 PM
Darwin wins again!
Yeah.

It's always a bad idea to just walk right on up and grab an unknown and angry beaver.
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Quote from: MicroBalrog on March 20, 2015, 03:39:21 AM
That is all. *expletive deleted*ck you all, eat *expletive deleted*it, and die in a fire. I have considered writing here a long parting section dedicated to each poster, but I have decided, at length, against it. *expletive deleted*ck you all and Hail Satan.

vaskidmark

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #17 on: May 30, 2013, 06:28:16 AM »
Snow shovel vs beaver http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyZP6m69y5A

Wet beaver vs cancorder http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjsN2_c2B7k

Attack of the 80-pound beaver http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE06cQ-7YVs (He had it on a leash.  Never let your beaver slip its leash.)

Bobcat vs beaver http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhtzfgHzCqw  (Apex hunter?  I don't think so.)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0131664/  Apparently this was more of a snuff nature series than a kiddie cartoon.

stay safe.
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Hey you kids!! Get off my lawn!!!

They keep making this eternal vigilance thing harder and harder.  Protecting the 2nd amendment is like playing PACMAN - there's no pause button so you can go to the bathroom.

geronimotwo

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #18 on: May 30, 2013, 08:19:16 AM »
news flash....rodents fighting to the death, inspired by monty python......
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Scout26

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2013, 08:27:57 AM »
Proving once again that nature ain't a Disney movie.
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Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


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TechMan

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #20 on: May 30, 2013, 08:46:47 AM »
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Hawkmoon - Never underestimate another person's capacity for stupidity. Any time you think someone can't possibly be that dumb ... they'll prove you wrong.

Bacon and Eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Stupidity will always be its own reward.
Bad decisions make good stories.

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French G.

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2013, 01:51:24 PM »
Reached up, tickled its chin and the bastard tried to bite me!
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AKA Navy Joe   

I'm so contrarian that I didn't respond to the thread.

lee n. field

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2013, 02:05:41 PM »
A Russian "hold my beer" moment?
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Hawkmoon

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #23 on: May 30, 2013, 02:10:10 PM »
Quote
The fisherman, who has not been named at the request of his family, was driving with friends toward the Shestakovskoye lake, west of the capital, Minsk, when he spotted the beaver along the side of the road and stopped the car. As he tried to grab the animal, it bit him several times. One of the bites hit a major artery in the leg, according to Sulim.

The man's friends were unable to stop the blood from spouting, and he was pronounced dead when he arrived at Sulim's clinic in the village of Ostromechevo.

He is the only person known to have died from a beaver attack in Belarus.

Journalism fail is not limited to the United States. It would almost appear from reading the article that the (alleged) journalist was trying to say the beaver attacked the man. I'm sure the beaver had a different perception of the interaction. Po' beavuh no doubt reasonably believed it was only defending itself against an unprovoked assault.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - -
100% Politically Incorrect by Design

Scout26

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Re: Attack of the Beavers
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2013, 07:17:11 PM »
Is it wrong that I'm cheering for the beavers?
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Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


Bring me my Broadsword and a clear understanding.
Get up to the roundhouse on the cliff-top standing.
Take women and children and bed them down.
Bless with a hard heart those that stand with me.
Bless the women and children who firm our hands.
Put our backs to the north wind.
Hold fast by the river.
Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.
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