A short pirate story...

[280plus]

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg?" the bartender asks. "You didn't have that
before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." says the pirate.

"Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" asked
the bartender.

"We were in another battle." replied the pirate. "I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

So the bartender asks, "What about that eye patch?"

The pirate replies, "Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of sea gulls flew over. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."

The pirate responds, "It was my first day with the hook."

[cosine]

This one's always been one of my favorites.

(I won't needle you this time. )

[280plus]

Noooo!! Not AGAIN!!

[Perd Hapley]

Should I tell the one about Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton in an elevator?

[Nightfall]

LOL. All the funnier because I just reread Treasure Island a few days ago.

Should I tell the one about Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton in an elevator?

Only if it also involves a hook in the eye!

[K Frame]

Pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices he has a ship's  wheel attached to his crotch.

The bartender asks the pirate about it...

Aye, it's driving me nuts!

[Art Eatman]

That's no drive; it's a short putt.
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Short putz?

Art

[Werewolf]

Should I tell the one about Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton in an elevator?

Please - by all means - tell it...

[Perd Hapley]

It's an old one, but here goes:

Rush Limbaugh is alone in an elevator, when it stops at a certain floor and Hillary Clinton walks in.  When the doors close, there is an ackward silence until Hillary hits the emergency stop, rips off her clothing and grabs Rush, demanding, "Limbaugh, you big hunk of a man, make me feel like a woman!"  

"OK," says Rush.  He takes off his clothes, and throws them in a pile at Hillary's feet.  "Wash 'em."

[roo_ster]

I always get a goofy smile from pirate jokes.

[Werewolf]

It's an old one, but here goes:

Rush Limbaugh is alone in an elevator, when it stops at a certain floor and Hillary Clinton walks in.  When the doors close, there is an ackward silence until Hillary hits the emergency stop, rips off her clothing and grabs Rush, demanding, "Limbaugh, you big hunk of a man, make me feel like a woman!"  

"OK," says Rush.  He takes off his clothes, and throws them in a pile at Hillary's feet.  "Wash 'em."

Sounds about right...  

[Perd Hapley]

How many gay rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb?






































None.  The lightbulb should not have to change.

[Perd Hapley]

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.

[BobR]

What better place to post this than here.

There is still time to brush up on your pirate ways before International "Talk Like a Pirate Day".

That is right, just around the corner, talk like a pirate day is rapidly approaching. Learn the talk now, impress all you friends and co-workers on Sept 19th.

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

bob

[Perd Hapley]

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?


Wanna ride bikes?

[Iain]

My favourite lightbulb joke -

How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Dozens. One to change the lightbulb and the rest to stand around and say 'I could have done that.'

[grampster]

You know I was quite willing to stay up and banter a bit, but after reading this thread I'm sleepy and going to bed.