But how do we arrange it so tose who support such antics pay for them, while those of us who don't support such antics aren't forced to participate in paying?
This is how democracy works. The majority votes something in, and then everyone pays for it.
When the majority of Americans supported intervention in Vietnam, everyone paid the cost of war - including the excesses of war.
The majority of Americans support the War on Drugs. Even many of those who think drugs should be legalized, for instance, will not necessarily vote their preference.
Thus Americans (and French, and Germans, and Japanese) etc. deserve to pay for the cost of this sort of thing.