Your "craft whiskey" was made in a giant factory in Indiana

[brimic]

Remember you are going to pay $27 fed tax per gallon of 100 proof alcohol.
http://www.ttb.gov/tax_audit/atftaxes.shtml

Dang. Washington led a revolution over much less onerous taxation,  at least before he used the army to enforce onerous taxation.

[Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas]

Appropriate punishment for being a hipster.

The only true whiskey is Scotch, and Johnnie Walker is its prophet.

[Gewehr98]

it's hard for a 1 year old distillery to have contracted and aged 15 y/o rye.

Not anymore.

Big thing in the industry now is "distress aging".

I'm just a little bit familiar with the technique. 

You can have a passable 5-year whiskey or bourbon in just a few days. 

The purists don't like it, but John Q. Public are not purists at large.   

[Balog]

Not anymore.

Big thing in the industry now is "distress aging".

I'm just a little bit familiar with the technique. 

You can have a passable 5-year whiskey or bourbon in just a few days. 

The purists don't like it, but John Q. Public are not purists at large.   

Not a purist, as long as it tastes good I don't care.

but wouldn't it violate truth in advertising laws to call something that's existed for a week 5/10/15 years old? Even if it tastes the same it's still not actually aged that long. 

[Ben]

The only true whiskey is Scotch, and Johnnie Walker is its prophet.

Heathen.

[AmbulanceDriver]

Heathen.

That, is uisge beatha......

[brimic]

Not a purist, as long as it tastes good I don't care.

but wouldn't it violate truth in advertising laws to call something that's existed for a week 5/10/15 years old? Even if it tastes the same it's still not actually aged that long. 

You'd think...
But then again , there is no shortage of penis enlarging pills on the market...

[zahc]

but wouldn't it violate truth in advertising laws to call something that's existed for a week 5/10/15 years old? Even if it tastes the same it's still not actually aged that long.  

It's not straightforward. Advertising laws vary. It is legal to sell motor oil as synthetic even if it's not, so long as it's "just as good" as synthetic, for example. There are plenty of food labeling laws that make it ok to sell x as y as long as there is a certain percentage of y in it. In complete seriousness, if they allow bud light to be sold labeled as "beer", then pretty much nothing would be surprising to me when it comes to labeling whiskey and other spirits.

[dogmush]

Appropriate punishment for being a hipster.

The only true whiskey is Scotch, and Johnnie Walker is its prophet. destroys it by blending crap tasteless whiskies together

FIFY

If you can't taste some peat ur doin it rong.

[Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas]

FIFY

If you can't taste some peat ur doin it rong.

Bah. Black Label is solid, though Red is not. Blue Label is glorious, but my salary needs an extra zero or two at the end to make it feasible.

[dogmush]

I've had blue label. Bland and tasteless. Not worth the cost at all.  I'll pay that for a tasty bottle.  But Johnny walker tastes like Irish whiskey.  I don't know how they dry the barley,  but they need more smoke.

[De Selby]

I've had blue label. Bland and tasteless. Not worth the cost at all.  I'll pay that for a tasty bottle.  But Johnny walker tastes like Irish whiskey.  I don't know how they dry the barley,  but they need more smoke.

I see the balvenie double wood in your spread - my current drink of choice.