Author Topic: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty  (Read 1923 times)

Balog

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Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« on: July 30, 2014, 11:10:02 AM »
http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2014/07/exceedingly_large_suspect_pres.html#incart_river

Michigan is trying to figure out how to handle putting a 625lb man on trial, and what to do with him if he's convicted.

Quote
Klein’s attorney, Damian Nunzio, told Leiber this week that the Kent County Fugitive Taskforce is well aware of where the defendant is, but has not come to get him.

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Nunzio hopes the Kent County Prosecutor’s Office would dismiss the charges, but Assistant Prosecutor James Benison says Klein has shown he is able to get out and about when he really wants to.

"Your Honor, I want to file a motion to dismiss these charges on the basis that my client is a real lard ass."  :rofl:

I also love the "related links" at the bottom...

http://www.mlive.com/news/detroit/index.ssf/2011/02/getaway_fail_400-pound_woman_c.html

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The newspaper lists Perkins as 5-foot-2 and 400 pounds, explaining her need for a motorized cart. But absent unreleased security camera footage, it's left to the imagination to determine how she managed to throw a punch or assume a "fighting stance," as the sheriff's office alleges.

 :rofl:
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MillCreek

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2014, 11:36:42 AM »
I am reminded of our very own Mitchell Rupe, who ate himself off the gallows because he was too heavy to hang: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitchell_Rupe
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HankB

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2014, 11:37:54 AM »
Quote
The newspaper lists Perkins as 5-foot-2 and 400 pounds, explaining her need for a motorized cart. But absent unreleased security camera footage, it's left to the imagination to determine how she managed to throw a punch or assume a "fighting stance," as the sheriff's office alleges.
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fifth_column

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2014, 12:17:12 PM »
Please!  Teleconferences are cheap and easy.  How hard could it really be?
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T.O.M.

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2014, 12:51:33 PM »
Please!  Teleconferences are cheap and easy.  How hard could it really be?

In most jurisdictions, a court can only use teleconferencing for prelikinary criminal hearings.  Defendaht has a right to be presentfor substantive hearings, absent a history of dangerous/disruptive behavior.
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RoadKingLarry

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2014, 01:13:15 PM »
Dismis the charges and give him a cheesecake of the week subscription along with a lifetime supply of Dominos delivery. Problem should resolve itself in short order.
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AJ Dual

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2014, 01:16:06 PM »
Dismis the charges and give him a cheesecake of the week subscription along with a lifetime supply of Dominos delivery. Problem should resolve itself in short order.

Don't forget unlimited tobacco products, Red Bull, and Everclear...
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KD5NRH

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2014, 01:22:59 PM »
Flatbed wrecker and a trail of bonbons leading on to the deck.

vaskidmark

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2014, 03:07:29 PM »
An evening spent watching reality TV would provide dozens of answers of how to get him to the courthouse.  Being as he is (allegedly) bedbound he can have a nice comfy space out in the hallway where the county can set up his hospital bed, his nurses, and all the support machinery needed to keep him functioning through the trial.  (With all the HIPAA privacy he can swallow.)

As for needing to get him up to the 10th-floor courtroom?  Really?  Find a few wall sockets in the basement and plug all the necessary stuff in.  "Court" is where the judge convenes it  or have there been rips in the space-time continuum when judges and their juries take field trips to the scene of the crime?

I'm wondering if ACA has a clause or three hidden in there that will become the source of funding for all the expenses he causes for medical treatment - except that I know of nothing that would mandate the state to provide weight-loss treatment other than a doctor's prescribed calorie intake.

FYI - most of the "newer" prisons are built to ADA standards, including cleatrance to get a hospital bed through the cell door.  The larger facilities have medical units which, while not normally used for skilled nursing care, could be.  All it would take is a warden willing to make a name for themself as a real problem-solver.

Finally - 650# and needs a five-foot wide (!!) hospital bed?  Puh-leeze!  The guy is morbidly obese, not a freaking halibut.

stay safe.
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MechAg94

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2014, 03:14:47 PM »
Dismis the charges and give him a cheesecake of the week subscription along with a lifetime supply of Dominos delivery. Problem should resolve itself in short order.
This would probably be a great deal cheaper than dragging him to court. 

People are too worried about him.  Roll him on a pallet and load him on a flatbed with a forklift.  You could probably haul him up to the court in the freight elevator with some sort of portable lift instead of the fork truck.  I don't really care about his comfort. 
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brimic

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2014, 03:20:26 PM »
My first thought was "what kind of crime would he have had the ambition to commit?"

Quote
When it comes to a man accused of making a false bomb threat at a Cedar Springs mobile home park,

Oh that.  :facepalm:
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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2014, 03:30:07 PM »
People are too worried about him.  Roll him on a pallet and load him on a flatbed with a forklift.  You could probably haul him up to the court in the freight elevator with some sort of portable lift instead of the fork truck.  I don't really care about his comfort.

I'd bet a cattle prod would miraculously cure his inability to walk.

MechAg94

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2014, 03:46:32 PM »
I'd bet a cattle prod would miraculously cure his inability to walk.
Another thought is to jail him for contempt for 90 days on restricted diet.
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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2014, 06:33:52 PM »
Another thought is to jail him for contempt for 90 days on restricted diet.
I remember reading about a man in Scotland who went on a "restricted diet" in the 60s to lose weight. And by "restricted diet", I mean that he didn't eat anything at all for over a year until he had shed about 100 kilograms. Just water, vitamin pills, and occasionally yeast, to keep his stomach working.
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BlueStarLizzard

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2014, 07:15:58 PM »
I'm with the flatbed and cattle prod crew. This fat mother *expletive deleted*ers refusal to cooperate alone is enough for me to throw out any sympathy or due process niceties.
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #15 on: July 31, 2014, 01:11:55 AM »
There's a warrant for his arrest, so isn't he responsible for getting himself to the courthouse? Even if the county had to pay for it, the $3,000 figure is from his lawyer, which tells me it would really cost $150. Somebody pay it, and get it over with.

It will be interesting if someone calls in a bogus bomb threat to his hospital.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2014, 01:24:14 AM by fistful »
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vaskidmark

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #16 on: July 31, 2014, 07:15:03 AM »
There's a warrant for his arrest, so isn't he responsible for getting himself to the courthouse? Even if the county had to pay for it, the $3,000 figure is from his lawyer, which tells me it would really cost $150. Somebody pay it, and get it over with.

It will be interesting if someone calls in a bogus bomb threat to his hospital.

IF they go with the super-heavyweight 'bolance the cost billed might acually get up towards $3K.  But his weight is not what's his lawyer is counting on to get him from having to face a court - I'm betting on the "medical conditions" isues and the "need" (read: desire to have for maximum emotional impact on any jury and maybe even on the judge) for nurses to be hovering around blinking and clicking and whirring machinery.

Quote
notations from a doctor documenting a variety of obesity-related ailments including diabetes, back pain and COPD.

"Notations" could be chart notes or just about anything else.  But let's play with the "notations" for a minute:
- diabetes: make sure he's taking his insulin and check his blood sugar once a day before breakfast
- back pain: Tylenol is less effective than placebo, so let's give  him an aspirin
- COPD*: but apparently not serious/severe enough to require oxygen therapy

* - and obesity usually does not cause COPD.  What his proper diagnosis should be is more likely "Pickwickian syndrome"  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity_hypoventilation_syndrome  And even that does not automatically mean O2 therapy.

My BS Meter broke on this guy's "condition".  Wonder if Amazon has a sale on new ones?

stay safe.
If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege.

Hey you kids!! Get off my lawn!!!

They keep making this eternal vigilance thing harder and harder.  Protecting the 2nd amendment is like playing PACMAN - there's no pause button so you can go to the bathroom.

MechAg94

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #17 on: July 31, 2014, 10:01:48 AM »
Wish they could deduct it from his disability/welfare checks.
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wmenorr67

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #18 on: July 31, 2014, 10:07:51 AM »
There's a warrant for his arrest, so isn't he responsible for getting himself to the courthouse? Even if the county had to pay for it, the $3,000 figure is from his lawyer, which tells me it would really cost $150. Somebody pay it, and get it over with.

It will be interesting if someone calls in a bogus bomb threat to his hospital.

Time for a no knock beat down.
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CNYCacher

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2014, 10:37:57 AM »
I seem to recall a similar situation locally a few years back. The dude was loaded into the back of a truck and the judge held court on the courthouse loading dock.


Found the article: http://auburnpub.com/news/obese-drug-dealer-sent-to-prison-via-ambulance/article_0d9ffd5f-abf1-5dfe-ba24-dd54a00ae010.html

Quote
While Turo's attorney, Douglas Bates, asked for parole, in light of his client's morbid obesity, visiting Wayne County Judge Stephen Sirkin said the state prison system is equipped to handle Turo's medical conditions.

Bates said that Turo, who weighs between 570 and 600 pounds, suffers from various staph and strep infections, kidney failure and can walk only a few feet, even with the assistance of other people.

Turo was transported to court in the back of a Ford F-150 pickup truck and was sentenced near the courthouse's loading dock.
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AJ Dual

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #20 on: July 31, 2014, 11:37:38 AM »
Time for a no knock beat down.

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vaskidmark

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #21 on: July 31, 2014, 03:46:03 PM »
Time for a no knock beat down.

Dude, have you considered the rebounding impact of all those batons?  Officers could get hurt!

I swear, sometimes it feels like I have to do all the thinking around here!  :-*

stay safe.
If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege.

Hey you kids!! Get off my lawn!!!

They keep making this eternal vigilance thing harder and harder.  Protecting the 2nd amendment is like playing PACMAN - there's no pause button so you can go to the bathroom.

onions!

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #22 on: July 31, 2014, 05:01:50 PM »
Apparently he drives.
http://woodtv.com/2014/07/31/man-claiming-hes-too-big-for-court-im-not-a-normal-guy/
The hospital he's likely at is just a couple of blocks from the courthouse.The others are between 1/2 and maybe 3 miles.It shouldn't be too hard to get there.
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vaskidmark

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Re: Not guilty by reason of being a fatty
« Reply #23 on: July 31, 2014, 05:55:47 PM »
Quote
Klein says he is a father and is engaged to be married.

“I don’t need to suffer no more,” Klein said. “I can’t do nothing that a real father would do.”

Apparently fairly recently he was able to.

It ought to be quite a rodeo when the judge gets tired of this guy.  Thank goodness there will be a TV crew there to capture every detail.

stay safe.
If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege.

Hey you kids!! Get off my lawn!!!

They keep making this eternal vigilance thing harder and harder.  Protecting the 2nd amendment is like playing PACMAN - there's no pause button so you can go to the bathroom.